Separating - Driving Back to the U.S.

[Vortexijah]

I am separating from my Mexican wife. After 2 years of marriage it is just not working out. My wife verbally abuses me, and it is impossible to please her. She is always unhappy and spends very little time at home. She is a very high-strung, goal-driven woman, and I am more of a laid-back, easy-going guy. Nevertheless, I still love her, but she feels it is best if I leave. Besides dealing with the heartbreak and pain of separation, I must somehow gather myself together and figure out how to get me and my things back to the States.

I think she might have just used me to get a Green Card. I don't know. I can't figure the woman out. Now as I understand it, I'm going to lose my FM-2, but she gets to keep her Green Card. That's just not fair.

At first, I thought I would just go for a while to the U.S. and work in my profession (pianist-musician) for a few months for my previous employer; but now this looks like it will be a permanent move. So, I have to bring everything with me. Well, everything within reason, and what my bank account can afford.

Already this woman has had me pay for moving her from Mexico City to Missouri, and then after a year in Missouri she insisted I pay to move both of us back to Mexico City. These moves, plus her Green Card, have costs me thousands of dollars. I'm pretty much tapped-out. A friend from the States is visiting me right now and says he can drive me home (thank God).

Some questions please:
1. Other than stopping to return the Importada Temporal sticker at Bancerjito, is Mexican customs going to require me to stop? Are they going to go through all my things? I had terrible problems with Mexican Customs coming down here. I had to hire a Customs Officer, and there was a huge amount of red-tape. I am so worried about going through all this again!
2. I went to the U.S. Gov website, and they said that there is no duty on possessions I owned before moving to Mexico. If that is true, this is good, as most of my stuff is old and not purchased in Mexico. Is this information about no duty on my own stuff accurate info?
3. I am a writer, and I have quite a large collection of books. They would never all fit in the car. I was thinking of mailing them to the U.S. Again, the boxes will only contain my old books, nothing purchased here. I cannot do my work without these books as they are books I reference in my writing (I've published 3 books). Do you think I can mail boxes of my collection of personally valuable books without any hassle? Should I write a note to Customs explaining the contents and put it inside the box?
4. I have a digital piano. But it is not the portable kind. It's the type meant to be set up once, and not moved around for gigs. We brought everything down here in a large SUV, so it could fit, but I doubt it could fit in my friend's car. Any ideas on how I can move this to the U.S.? I've also got a synthesizer, which I can give up, since it's pretty old, and an amp, which might fit into the car.
5. I am so distraught with the ending of my marriage, that I cannot think straight. Please tell me if I need to know anything that I'm missing with my plans. I have my U.S. Passport, and my FM-2 Visa. Are there any other documents I will need to re-enter the U.S.? Should I just drive through the "Nothing to Declare" line, as I am not going to bring any Mexican bought items with me back into the U.S., but the car will obviously be packed to the brim with my stuff.
6. # 5 isn't completely true, as I am full-disabled and on several daily medications. I will need to travel with my prescription medications purchased here. Unfortunately, in Mexico, they do not have medicine bottles, only boxes of medicine. I'm afraid Mexico Customs or U.S. Customs might seize them. My life depends on taking these meds every day.

Any advice would be highly appreciated. I think we are leaving in 2 days. My friend isn't giving me much time. Right now I feel like a zombie. This will be my 3rd divorce if we get divorced. I thought my move to Mexico was going to be permanent, and never made any contingency plans to move all my things back to the U.S. in case my marriage would fail. I can use all the support you can give me right now.

Thanks.

Vortexijah

[RVGRINGO]

1. You will need to stop to get the car's 'impotada' sticker removed by Bancerjito. You must also stop at INM (probably in the southbound lane) to have them stamp your FM2 in the 'Salida' page. Due to the limitations on time out of Mexico and your changed situation, it would be wise to have the FM2 canceled by INM. You will have no need to stop at Mexican customs, other than the car at Bancerjisto.

2. Your personal, used goods won't be a problem if they were purchased in the USA. Also, Mexican artesania is duty free, as are most antiques.

3. The only problem with the books is their weight, and the very high cost of shipping.

4. With the instruments and the books, have you considered making two trips to the border, putting them, and other stuff, in a storage facility? A small unit doesn't cost much for a month. Then, when everything is in the USA, you could use a U-haul trailer or truck to get to your final destination.

5. At the border, you are likely to be questioned and inspected, so plan on it.

6. You can take a 'reasonable' amount of medications with you. Possibly up to 90 days worth. However, be sure that you do have the prescriptions with you, even though they aren't usually required in Mexico. Every 'farmacia' has a responsible MD who can do this for you. Otherwise, it would be worth a consultation to have them written by an MD of your choice. They need not be in US style bottles, which aren't allowed in Mexico for safety reasons. Mexico requires factory sealed packaging.

Relax......all will be well.

[ReefHound]

I can't help you on the personal front other than wish you the best. Did you ask your wife if she has any friends who may be interested? ;-)

You won't need to stop for Mexican customs or immigration other than to stamp out your FM2 and turn in your vehicle permit. However, you are likely to be stopped at some of the checkpoints along the way who may have questions about your belongings.

If I were you, I would make a detailed list of everything you have along with any evidence you acquired them in the U.S. While there may be no duty on what you owned before in the U.S., how are you going to prove that you owned it before?

You may have a problem with the medications and you should be sure to have a prescription for every drug. As for pill bottles, can you go by a farmacia and see if they can provide a label? Other than that I don't know what to tell you. If they find the pills in an unmarked box, unless the pills are marked themselves, the question is how does anyone know that little pill is what you say it is?

[RVGRINGO]

The medications should be in their original, factory sealed, blister pack sleeve, inside the well labeled box from the manufacturer; just the way you receive them from the farmacia. Mexico does not dispense from bulk, un-dated and subject to contamination and fraud, as in US pharmacies.

[Vortexijah]

Thank you very much RVGRINGO for all your help! Your answers have been most informative.

All the best,
Vortexijah

[TundraGreen]

Vortexijah, I can't add much to the advice you have already received, however I would like to clarify one point. In your original post you indicate that you think you will lose your FM-2 (Inmigrante) visa? Why is that? It is certainly possible to have an inmigrante visa without a Mexican wife. Secondly, I wasn't sure if you were relocating to the US permanently because your were losing your visa or if there were other reasons. If the former, you should make sure that you really will lose your visa before you leave permanently.

Best wishes in dealing with these problems. I went through a divorce many years ago. It is not fun even without the international complications you face. You have my sympathy.

Memo

[RVGRINGO]

The 'inmigrante/FM2' visa has restrictions on how long you can be out of Mexico in any one year, and cumulatively in the five year period. One must also be in Mexico at the annual renewal dates. So, it will probably have to be canceled if Vortexija isn't able to meet the rules. Better to do than, than to jeopardize the ability to get another in the future, if desired.

[Vortexijah]

Originally Posted by TundraGreen

Vortexijah, I can't add much to the advice you have already received, however I would like to clarify one point. In your original post you indicate that you think you will lose your FM-2 (Inmigrante) visa? Why is that? It is certainly possible to have an inmigrante visa without a Mexican wife.

I thought that I would lose my FM-2 because RVGRINGO wrote, "Due to the limitations on time out of Mexico and your changed situation, it would be wise to have the FM2 canceled by INM." And in some other posts, people indicated the same . . . once I leave Mexico I have to kiss my FM-2 goodbye.

I would love to keep my FM-2. It cost me a lot of money and I would love to come back to Mexico after the dust has settled. I am too emotional now to make any permanent decisions about my future.

So, I do not have to yield or lose my FM-2 because I am going back to the U.S. for a while? How long can I stay out of the U.S. before my FM-2 becomes invalid? Right now, the FM-2's they're handing out, are these impressive laminated cards. It has my photo on it and says "Inmigrante" with the INM seal. So, someone mentioned about getting "page 2" stamped . . . I really don't have anything like that. My card says it expires 5/5/2011.

Originally Posted by TundraGreen

Secondly, I wasn't sure if you were relocating to the US permanently because your were losing your visa or if there were other reasons. If the former, you should make sure that you really will lose your visa before you leave permanently.

I have made no long-term decisions. But I was truly saddened to learn (on this forum) that I should have my FM-2 cancelled. After all the work I've put into this marriage, into learning Spanish, into getting my FM-2, I don't want to have it cancelled!

Originally Posted by TundraGreen

Best wishes in dealing with these problems. I went through a divorce many years ago. It is not fun even without the international complications you face. You have my sympathy.

Thanks for the very kind words. It tears my heart out to leave my new home in Mexico. I'd rather stay, but my Spanish is so poor. I can make all my needs understood, but I can't really understand what people are saying to me. I don't know how I could possibly go through all the process of getting a new apartment here, and paying bills, if I can't even have a simple conversation on the telephone! Don't get me wrong; I've studied for a very long time, but I'm just not yet good enough to understand the majority of what people are saying. I think it would be a disaster for me to try to set up utilities, negotiate a contract with a landlord, etc., with my language skills. What do you think?

Vortexijah

[RVGRINGO]

I'm not certain, but I think you can only be out of Mexico for less than 90 days in a year, or a total of 180 days over the five year period. That's from fuzzy brain cells, so visit INM and ask.

Now, if you really want to stay in Mexico, but need expat support and English speaking friends, restaurants, business folks, etc. You might consider a move to Lake Chapala/Ajijic, where I'm certain that you would be comfortable, have easy access to Guadalajara, etc. It might be a good place to 'adjust' for a while. Catch your breath before making major decisions & keep your 'inmigrante credencial'. (The FM2 term is becoming obsolete). There are always some short term lodgings, even in 'high season' and good shopping for rentals after March or April. PM if I can help with details.

If you do have to leave Mexico, present your plastic 'credencial' and fill out an FMM, keeping the stub for re-entry. That process replaces the stamping of pages in the old booklet FM2 or FM3, but confuses the border folks as they learn the new ropes. So, insist, even if they resist. It is the law; as is getting the 'importada' sticker removed from a foreign plated vehicle.

[conklinwh]

A few things:
-1st, what RV Gringo says about living and getting support in an expat oriented area is true in a number of locations in Mexico and not limited to the Lake Chapala area but that is certainly an option.
-I thought that "non-inmigrante" and "inmigrante" cards that the aduano sticker didn't have to be renewed or removed upon temporary exit. Is this not true?