Central America to Mexico - But Where?

[one4mandy]

Originally Posted by vantexan

So what you are saying is a woman in poverty is better off staying there than having a relationship with an older man? Luckily most of the world isn't the youth-centric place the U.S. is. You reflect your culture, and assume everyone else sees it the same way. If you are raised to believe some of the most important things in life are to honor your parents and to take good care of your husband and children you may see it differently than who can I have the hottest sex with and if he doesn't give me everything I'll dump him first chance I get. Just my opinion.

And no, I am not youth centric. I was crazy in love with a man much older than I. The difference was that I was with him because he was awesome and sexy and fun, not because he had money. I make as much money as he does. I'm just saying that personally I feel sorry for women who miss out on enjoying real choices because they are essentially forced to sell themselves to some filthy old creep. Give her the money first and help her out of poverty without expecting her to sleep with you. Thats the humane thing to do. If she comes to you anyway, then you may have something. But if she has to be with a man to be helped out of poverty, well that's prostitution...in my opinion. And it is sad for her, shameful for her "John". Just my opinion.

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[vantexan]

Originally Posted by one4mandy

And no, I am not youth centric. I was crazy in love with a man much older than I. The difference was that I was with him because he was awesome and sexy and fun, not because he had money. I make as much money as he does. I'm just saying that personally I feel sorry for women who miss out on enjoying real choices because they are essentially forced to sell themselves to some filthy old creep. Give her the money first and help her out of poverty without expecting her to sleep with you. Thats the humane thing to do. If she comes to you anyway, then you may have something. But if she has to be with a man to be helped out of poverty, well that's prostitution...in my opinion. And it is sad for her, shameful for her "John". Just my opinion.

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And yes, you do assume women everywhere see it the way you do and you are a product of a youth-centric culture. Women in the Philippines, and most likely in many developing nations, routinely marry older men. They don't consider them fat old perverts and they aren't drug to the altar with a gun to their head. I won't be buying anyone, and can assure you that in the Phil's women will be approaching me. Not because I'm anything special, that's just the way it is. Thank goodness for Filipinas! I don't have the money to go around saving everyone in poverty. I am a poor working class fellow. But I do know that I will treat whoever I marry very well, and never give her a reason to regret marrying me. With the divorce rate in the West I'll take a Filipina's pragmatism over your notion of romance any day.

[kito1]

It is indeed a business relationship, nothing to do with love. Marriage for love is a very recent invention and seems to work out about 50% of the time. (according to the divorce rates) so not got a good track record. However, I think that some marriages based on love can be incredibly rewarding and something most people want.

Marriages of convenience, marriages for money, marriages for status and for family unity are the norm in much of the world and often benefits everyone except the woman. However, If an American man marries a poor woman (not a child) and treats her well, then I have no real problem with that. My problem is with men who are on a power trip and marry "girls" who they use as a pretty arm-piece and are thought of as pretty much a pet not a partner or a wife.

So, these are my feelings, but that is neither here nor there, people are going to do exactly what they want, and the world will keep on turning.

[edgeee]

this is so fascinating.
being an old fart, in need of love just like anyone else, i have my own slant on things.

remember, we are all very different, so applying our unique perspective to any situation guarantees that we see it differently.

in my lifetime, i have deeply loved three women. (not counting mom and my daughter. of course they count, but not here.)

i warned each of them ahead of time.
" you should not love me. i am no good at loving back. i wish i could, and i try hard, but i'm no good at it."
they ignored my advice, and we all suffered for it.
we also climbed magnificent peaks together.
we had some glorious times together, memories to treasure,
but we always found ways to drift apart.

compatibility is measured in many ways.
maybe there is a mate made for me, maybe not. i just don't know, but i doubt it.
given my nasty nature and cranky composure, it would take a miracle to find her.
meanwhile, if i could find a female not fixated on fixing me, that would be 'finest kind'.

i'm not holding my breath while i wait for that to happen.

[stilltraveling]

Originally Posted by kito1

edited to ad: I wanted to say that the main reason I am leaving Nicaragua where I have been lately is the lack of good food and restaurants. In Managua and Granada, where there are good restaurants, it is just too dang hot, but in the more temperate climates there is just nothing but rice/beans and well, more rice and beans! I am serious when I say that people here eat rice and beans 3 times a day and every restaurant offers mostly rice and beans! It really wears on you after a while.

Gallo pinto for breakfast, gallo pinto for lunch, gallo pinto for dinner. After a few years in Central America, I got sick of it too. However, I kind of miss it now. Can't find the right beans to make it here.

Cuernavaca sounds like a good candidate for you. I live downtown and there are plenty of little cafes and restaurants, but the really good dining is a 30 peso taxi ride away on Rio Mayo in Colonia San Diego.

The downtown is great for walking, you just have to get used to the hills. It's an old colonial section (like Granada on steroids) with a lot of early 20th century influence mixed in. The Zocalo is about 10 times the size of the parque central in Granada and is always bustling with people. There are many smaller parks scattered around downtown and a really nice nature preserve right smack in the middle of town that is great for walking. A bicycle isn't as useful here as there is a lot of traffic and the old downtown streets don't leave much room for cyclists (you won't see mom, dad and two kids all on the same bike like in Nicaragua). The climate downtown is pleasant most of the year. We're in the rainy season right now, but it's nothing like the rainy season in Nicaragua. It mostly rains only at night for an hour or two.

A two bedroom furnished apartment in my building goes for around 5500 pesos (there are different sizes so the rent varies slightly from unit to unit). The subtropical gardens are lovely. Lots of mangoes and bananas like you would have seen in Nicaragua. The outlying areas look like Managua. There isn't a straight road anywhere and you need a car (or taxi) to get around.

Another option would be San Cristobal de las Casas. It's like a big Granada, almost identical, but it's a lot cleaner and there are lots of good restaurants. Also, it doesn't get nearly as hot (though the winters can be very cold for days at a time). I have no idea what the rents are there anymore, but be prepared for sticker shock after living in Nicaragua.

[mickisue1]

I had a post prepared to discuss this whole idea.

But, the bottom line for me is that it is PROGRESS to base marriages on the shared joy in each other's company of the two parties, and that a marriage that is, at best, a business transaction (financial security for youth) is regressive, in the worst way.

[stilltraveling]

Originally Posted by kito1

Anyway, to answer your questions: It was a VERY small community and I got to know a few of these girls. Most of them, and their families, thought they were making a good deal, however, I think its just wrong... plus it is illegal. The age of consent is 18 in Nicaragua, but we are talking Nicaragua here where you are not really breaking the law as long as you have the money or connections to say otherwise.

Though you also have to consider the accepted normal behavior of Nicaraguan men. In all my years of travel, I've never seen a more useless lot. The women really carry that country on their backs. No men anywhere are more lazy, sexist, machista, grosero and unfaithful as Nicaraguan men.

There are a lot of expats scattered across Central America with girlfriends who are a third their age (you can live pretty well on Social Security in some countries). To hear the women say it, the old man treats them better than a 25-year-old Nicaraguan would and he's also financially capable of taking care of her (and her family), so they feel they get a pretty good deal out of it. When the old guy kicks off, they inherit enough to propel them into the middle class, usually while they're still in their 30s.

As for the predators with the underage girls (a big problem in Nicaragua and Honduras), the US embassy is always glad to hear reports of these cases and they will act on them. It is illegal for a US citizen to have sexual relations with anyone under 18 anywhere in the world and they can be tried in the US for crimes committed abroad. I've reported more than a few over the years. They usually find federal agents waiting for them at the airport when they visit the motherland.

[stilltraveling]

Originally Posted by DennyDaddy

Kito1

Look into Rocky Point, Mex. Its a real nice small city south of YUMA!
Yes, tourism is there but still has the small town mex feeling, and easy drive to Yuma, Tuscon. And the drug wars seem/is far away.

DD

Yeah, but it's hotter than an oven in the summer!

[DennyDaddy]

The traveling guy.....

Yup, ya right it gets hot at RP, but the breeze off the sea is great, but then on the other hand, in the 3 hot summer months, its up to the other northern border.....but the elec comp gives a great rate break for all who have 100 amp elec servic, down in RP, so the poor ones can run a/c.
And great for us because my
Secretary of War needs trips up to
the clinic in Yuma a couple hours away to drive, a few times a year.

But it's a good starting point first.

DD

[bougainvillea]

Originally Posted by kito1

I am a 40ish woman (US citizen) who has been living in Central America for awhile but want to try out Mexico for a year or so. Problem is, Mexico is HUGE and I am just not sure where to go! I spent some time in DF last year and liked it a lot, but feel that it is probably out of my price range. However, if someone can tell me otherwise, please feel free...

Budget: I can comfortably spend up to $2000/ month but prefer to keep it well below that. I would prefer to keep it around $1200-$1500.

Lifestyle: I have a small dog and would prefer a city (large or small) where I can take him out walking without problems. I like a downtown with lots of restaurants and cafes where I can sit outside with the pup and read and people watch.

Housing: I am open to living in an apartment alone ( mostly furnished) or renting a room with someone if I have some privacy yet also have kitchen access. How much problem will I run into with having a small dog as far as housing goes? As far as costs, I would like to spend no more than $500 total on housing and utilities. Is this reasonable?

Climate/Location: I prefer a more moderate climate. Merida is probably out due to the heat. Don't need to be near or really want to be near a beach.

I do not need to be where lots of other gringos are. It's fine if they are there, but I am comfortable without this.

I will probably head back to the USA at least every 2 or 3 months (not included in budget above as I fly for free) so would like to prefer to be somewhat near a major international airport.

I don't really cook and would need a person who comes in from 12-6pm and cooks and cleans for me. I had a wonderful lady (who I am going to miss!) in my last home in Central America and it totaled out to $100/month for a part-time cook/maid. I assume that in Mexico this would be quite a bit more expensive??? I have no idea of the labor cost so am just guessing. If it costs more than $250-300/month I would probably forget this, hire someone to come in once a week to give the place a good clean and instead there would need there to be lots and lots of good yet inexpensive restaurants nearby.

I want good public transportation available, but very much would prefer to be able to live in a city where I can mostly walk to everything and use buses when I needed to go longer distances.

I am going to be doing a couple of scouting trips for areas in a month or so, anyone want to comment on what areas I should go see? Any other advice you can give me would also be appreciated!

edited to ad: I wanted to say that the main reason I am leaving Nicaragua where I have been lately is the lack of good food and restaurants. In Managua and Granada, where there are good restaurants, it is just too dang hot, but in the more temperate climates there is just nothing but rice/beans and well, more rice and beans! I am serious when I say that people here eat rice and beans 3 times a day and every restaurant offers mostly rice and beans! It really wears on you after a while.

You should look at Oaxaca, Cuernavaca and San Miguel de Allende (a World Heritage site)......all in the mountains, from 5000 to 7000 feet altitude. Forget the beach towns......WAY too hot. And the central plateau of Mexico is the most beautiful and most interesting,the most rich in culture besides having a fabulous climate. All three cities have what you are looking for, though San Miguel is not really close to an airport. The closest airport is in Leon, which is an hour or so away by car. Mexico City is three or four hours by car from San Miguel. Cuernavaca is an hour from Mexico City, give or take. Google "pictures of San Miguel de Allende" or whatever city you are interested in and go to the Trip Advisor site and you will find hundreds if not thousands of pictures of whatever city you want to research. I've lived in Mexico and love it.....but Mexico City is huge now, expensive, has wall-to-wall traffic and smog. Guanajuato is lovely but I've never lived there. I know people who really love Morelia, too.

I too lived in Antigua and loved it. You would find San Miguel very similar to Antigua......and I have never seen any hordes of backpackers there. There are plenty of Gringos in San Miguel, but it's still Mexico. Same for Cuernavaca. Oaxaca is probably more Mexican but a little hotter, climate-wise. San Cristobal de las Casas is really interesting but tiny.........it wouldn't qualify as a "city," I don't think. And it's quite hard to get to, besides being 7000 feet up in cloud-forest, which makes for an odd climate.

I am hoping to get to Mexico myself by the end of the year.........good luck!