Men and Women - Culture and Protocol

[Isla Verde]

Originally Posted by TundraGreen

Why wouldn't the gender of the noun be determined by the gender of the person you are telling not to be "naco"?

ExpatPumpkin used "naca" to refer to a woman calling a male jerk a "naco", implying that a woman who would insult a man that way (even if he deserved it) has no class herself.

[ExpatPumpkin]

Originally Posted by TundraGreen

Why wouldn't the gender of the noun be determined by the gender of the person you are telling not to be "naco"?

If a woman calls a man "naco," she would be behaving like a "naca." That's what I meant.

[ExpatPumpkin]

Originally Posted by Isla Verde

ExpatPumpkin used "naca" to refer to a woman calling a male jerk a "naco", implying that a woman who would insult a man that way (even if he deserved it) has no class herself.

Yep!

[TundraGreen]

Originally Posted by ExpatPumpkin

If a woman calls a man "naco," she would be behaving like a "naca." That's what I meant.

Now I got it. I misread it to mean a woman would --use-- "naca" rather than a woman would --be-- naca. Now it is clear and I don't see how I misunderstood.

[La Osita]

Originally Posted by ExpatPumpkin

Yep!

Exactly why my husband refuses to teach me any of the street language words. His view is that any woman who speaks at that level would be seen as trashy, a humiliation to both myself and him.

As a woman, living here is a double standard, no two ways about it. Some months ago, a Payaso (clown) was dancing around at the Rodeo here in the village. I happened to walk by and he attempted to engage me in a silly dance as I tried to move past him. I smiled, gave a bit of a hop and side step and continued on to where my husband was sitting.

My husband then told me that it was disrespectful for the Payaso(he was drunk) to have tried to dance with me and not to pay attention to him. "OK, if it's a little kid or teenager, etc. but not appropriate for a respectable woman. People would see this and might think poorly of me." So, first I'm annoyed and then gave it some time.

I have to look at this with a detached viewpoint (nothing personal). This is a very different world, with very different mores. It's a little sticky, but I'm learning. I live in a very traditional, old world village and I love it here. I see it as an exercise in becoming more of who I am, with grace.

[Isla Verde]

Originally Posted by itnavell

Exactly why my husband refuses to teach me any of the street language words. His view is that any woman who speaks at that level would be seen as trashy, a humiliation to both myself and him.

It's not just in traditional Mexican villages that people think as your husband does. I've recently started dating a lovely Mexican guy from the big city of Puebla. When I asked him to teach me some street Spanish, he said he would but only if I promised never to use it in public because of the bad impression it would make.

I think it's important for us to understand these kinds of words in order to "defendernos", so we'll know what's being said to us. Maybe that's an argument you could use with your husband .

[La Osita]

That's true. I'll ask him.

[edgeee]

is it because only a naca would use the word naco?
just quessing.

Edit: never mind, i answered before i read the rest.)

[Rudolfo]

Just get used to it..its a macho thing and most times fairly innocent. Most of it is just playful. Most Latin cultures are more "social" and open - read "flirtatious" - to begin with so just roll with it. The touching thing is very normal, Latina's do it too, so don't get angry when one might pat your novio on the arm or flirt a little. Its a warm and sexual culture (in comparison to the USA at least)

One of the first things I noticed is that Latina's really learn to handle themselves much better than most Gringa's. For instance my current GF knows how some latin men are and she just ignores it. We will be out at a bar or club and a man will make a flirtatious comment or try to dance with her, and she doesn't pause for a moment..she just walks on about her business and they leave her alone. On the other hand, the last American GF I had, would start a dramatic scene over the smallest things, sometimes putting me in a bad position. "Did you hear that man call me sexy! Did you see that man try to dance with me?!!" If she had just smiled and walked away, 99% of the time the problem is over.

Of course I have to say there is never an excuse for blatant disrespect. When the mechanic from the first post, mentions about your husband not taking care of you, that is disrespect. Also a pat on the shoulder or a touch on the arm is one thing, but its not acceptable anywhere to get groped or touched aggressively.

[Anonimo]

"Tu madre se avergonzaría de ti."

"Tu madre" is far worse than saying "No seas naco." The first phrase implies that the one to whom it is directed has an incestuous relationship with his mother. Some what better to say, instead, "Tu mamá...etc."