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Worried about my 10 year old boy adjusting in Oz

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Old 20th April 2008, 02:42 PM
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Default Worried about my 10 year old boy adjusting in Oz

Hi, I would love as much help and info as I can get please. We may be heading to Australia to live and have just told our 10 year old, the reaction was not great. We tried to soften the blow by telling him we would of course just go on a holiday there next year and see what we all thought of live down under, but even that caused tears and tantrums. Help what do I do to make him see it could be a better live for him, and make him see he will make new friends.?
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Old 20th April 2008, 03:20 PM
sgilli3 sgilli3 is offline
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I cant imagine a 10 yr old not loving it...there are soooo many activites for a boy of that age to do (cricket, footy (aussie rules), soccer, karate, tennis, swimming...etc, etc)

Have you discussed how he can keep in contact with his family + friends (emails, letters, skype etc)
You will probably find too (as most expats do)...once you are out of your home country, you seem to have a lot more visitors !!!!

Once settled in school, Im sure he will make lots of friends, and at his age (same as my son), you will find that after school play dates and activities, will help with the transition)

I dont want to trivialise how he is feeling, because it is an upheaval

Perhaps, plan the holiday with him, get his input on what he wants out of the move (ie he may want to live where its warmer ie : further nth, or he may be interested in regional living)..get his input too
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Old 20th April 2008, 03:29 PM
Bevdeforges Bevdeforges is offline
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I was just a little younger than your son when my folks sprung a move on me - a mere 250 miles away. When you're a kid, that seems like the end of the universe and, well, Australia really IS the other side of the world. His big concern is, no doubt, being separated from his friends and everything he knows.

Do you know anyone in Oz with a boy about your son's age? The ideal situation would be to hook him up with an Internet pal over there he could get to know before you head over. It would also help him realize that there are ways for him to stay in touch with his mates back in the UK (assuming they are into online stuff).

But maybe there's also something to be said for letting him have his sulk about being handed such a big potential jolt to his nice, settled world. Some kids just have to work their way through things like this, without being constantly cajoled with "how much better a life it will be" and "how he'll make new friends." Right now he's faced with losing the only friends and the only life he's ever known. It's a big step - and it will take some time for him to adjust to it in his own way. Be there to answer his questions, but don't try to jolly him along too much until he's ready for it.
Cheers,
Bev
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Old 20th April 2008, 03:31 PM
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Thanks for help. I will try getting him more involved. I am probably jumping the gun abit anyway, we havent even been on holiday to see if we like it yet. lol
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Old 20th April 2008, 03:32 PM
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great advice from you peps thanks alot
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Old 20th April 2008, 03:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnxiousMum View Post
Hi, I would love as much help and info as I can get please. We may be heading to Australia to live and have just told our 10 year old, the reaction was not great. We tried to soften the blow by telling him we would of course just go on a holiday there next year and see what we all thought of live down under, but even that caused tears and tantrums. Help what do I do to make him see it could be a better live for him, and make him see he will make new friends.?
Hi

Most 10 year olds would react that way its normal,
When i was 11 i was dragged from the Midlands to the South Coast , i hated the idea shouted threatened to run away all the normal , reasons were just as thats where my mates were. also new school etc etc , very scarey as a young one ,

Now interestingly once we had moved within about 3 weeks, i made mates with neighbours and at school and was glad to have made the move , by age 12 you wouldnt of dragged me back ..

Now i would find stuff like Skippy , Flipper and stuff for him to watch so he can see what life could be like , and then it will make him feel less nervous and worried , after all to him Australia may seem like all foreignors , if he sees English language fun place etc.

He will slowly warm to the idea maybe .

Hope this helps
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Old 22nd April 2008, 12:31 AM
synthia synthia is offline
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I had friends who moved to Germany for a one-year assignment. Their 11-year-old girl did fine. Their 8-year old boy hated the international school so much that he would hide under the bed. They would have to drag him to the bus and push him on every morning. Eighteen months later, when it became obvious they were definitely going back to the US in just six months, both children accused their parents of trying to ruin their lives by making them leave Germany.

He'll do fine.
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Old 6th May 2008, 02:24 PM
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Kids always seem to adapt to new environments a lot quicker than we do!
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Old 11th May 2008, 02:55 PM
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We are in the same position. We are moving over in January, and our 10 year old wasn't overly impressed! He's had 2 months now to deal with it (we aren't even having a holiday out there first we're just going), and he realises that we are doing for the best, to make sure he has the best life possible. He came round more and more, as he told his friends and they all said they were REALLY jealous - peer pressure can be a good thing

Hope your son comes round soon!
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Old 18th May 2008, 04:34 AM
catmce catmce is offline
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I moved to Sweden when I was young and lived there for four years - of course it was difficult to move to Sweden and then again to move back to australia four years later, but it was the best experience my parents gave me. I learnt a new language, was able to travel extensively and also became more resilient to challenges life throws at you.

You may find this book helpful:
Culture SHock! Successful living abroad
A parent's guide

Robin Pascoe
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