Each person might have a story to tell how he or she has ended up in being an expat. You may have chosen it or you may not, it may have been imposed upon you or there was not any other choice but moving.　Whatever case it might be if you still have families in your home country how often do you connect and how?

In my case, the first few years I seldom called my parents, maybe once every few months and one time I didn’t call them for about six months or more and they were not at all impressed when I called. Please don’t get me wrong, I do care about them and love them however meaningless it may sound to you when I say this. Meanwhile I had been emailing my brother often so they must’ve known I was not dead. They didn’t call me either so I am not entirely the one to blame. Chances are they wouldn’t have known how to make an international call anyway though.

Now I realize that the best I can do is call them and let them know I am doing well. so I call them monthly. I don’t go on to tell what life is like in Africa coz they don’t ask. All they want and need to know is how I am doing and all I like to know is they are well. so the conversation only lasts a few minutes max.

I always say I am well and everything is cool even when it is clearly not and I am hungry and sick because I don’t wanna make them worried. I get the sense they might be doing the same for me. I know they care about me. and that means a lot. My father once said to me “Watch out for landmines.” As far as I know there ain’t any landmines in South Africa. But I said “I will”.

I even think if I start calling them weekly they would wonder what’s gotten into our son, and start worrying. Many things I want to ask them and tell them but I feel like those are not suited to be told on the phone. Maybe the next time I see them. And I am not good at talking on the phone anyway. The more intimate I know the person on the other side of the phone the more I feel the phone does do much for men to really connect. but still that is the best option and cheapest.

I have never used or needed skype.

My parents don’t call me but I got the hand written letters from them a few time. They didn’t post them. what they did was they wrote a letter and took it to a home appliance shop around the corner from my folks place. The shop owner is an electrician in the village and my mother and he went to the same school. I mean at the same time, they all go to the same schools anyway coz there are only a few. and then the electrician scans the letter and emails me with an attachment of a flipping big size on my side. It is more personal and warm for sure though than if they had emailed.

How do you keep in touch, if you do that is, with your parents, spouse, children, grand parents, brothers and sisters? What do you talk about and how long?

I am sure I am not the only one feeling the way I mentioned above.

My parents I see through Skype at least once a week and we meet up every year.

I connect with family & friends that are not in Australia via our personal blog, Skype, Facebook, Twitter etc. as and when....

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Thanks to Facebook, I feel like I never left home in some ways.

I talk to my parents through email several times/week, and on the phone/Skype a few times/month, maybe 2x/month in usual circumstances.

Right now I am very sick and getting ready for surgery and I have emailed back and forth with them at least 40 times this week but this is a weird situation.

My mother comes to visit me in Greece at least 1x/year; I have gone back to the US but I try to keep it short. My father has never been to visit me here and probably won't as it's not his style to travel.

I love my parents and have a wonderful relationship with them, and I think our level of contact works for us so that we aren't worrying (they about me so far away, I about their health) and we still get to talk about whatever is going on in our lives pretty regularly. Skype is great for that.

the thing is my parents don't know how to use and never tried or don't even know what internet is. having heard that you call a few time a month i feel like i am not doing well enough. but honestly i don't know what to talk about. sounds pretty weird or even sad but that is the way it is for me. i wish i could call them more often and speak longer.. calling once a month is actually more than i was in japan but still a few hundreds kilometers away. they live in a villege and whether good or bad, they don't know much and are very straightforward, i just don't want to talk abotu anything they don't know which might cause worries.

@wka i am sorry that you are sick and will have to have surgery. i sincerely hope it all goes well you will be well soon and your families are happier. just reading your reply i can feel you have a great family.

take care

Thank you Koji! I am hoping for the best! I do have a very supportive family that sees my living abroad in a very positive light (as in, "this is what she wants, and it makes her happy, thus it makes us happy too.")

However, I also have parents who are very talkative, always want to know what's going on, etc. And since my mother has visited me in Greece six or seven times , she's really interested in my life here since she's seen it in person. I think it just depends on all the individual personalities involved. When I call my parents, I usually talk to my mom for like 30 minutes to an hour, but my dad for maybe 1-5 minutes -he's just not that talkative, but we do like to hear each other's voices.

I will say that because my parents are older and have a lot of health issues, it does mean we stay in touch more. I worry about my father a lot because of his health. I know that if my parents were in better health I would not be so worried. For example I would NEVER turn off my cell phone (for example, before bed) in case they called because I worry about their health. It's just an elderly-parent thing.

My mother died last month and we hadn't been close for many years. I still have a sister in UK and her daughters, my grandfathers late nephew's widow (Joyce 86 years old) plus more distant relatives and I have email contact with all of them except Joyce whom we telephone from time to time using skype from our end. Our other means of keeping in touch with them and our friends around the world is by producing a newsletter about once a month which we then send as a pdf by e-mail (or by post to Joyce.

I think one of the reasons why the conversations with my parents on the phone are so brief is that they live a very simple life in a village so I want to keep everything simple. And also, I never really thought about it until now, but they are so talkative. My father is definitely not.
They are not travellers either, so there is no way for them to leave the village and fly for 20 hours to see me. it would just way too stressful that it would do them more harm than good.

I think I know what you mean when you say "this is what she wants, and it makes her happy, thus it makes us happy too." It boils down to it for my parents too no matter where I happen to end up. I could probably make them even happier or happiest by going back to the village and live with them or near them. But I just can’t seem to do it. tough one. That is the way it is.

It don’t know how long it is going to be before I have to start worrying about my parents health. it is gonna be hard when it happens. I worried a lot about my grandma as I was attached to her. She was in an elderly nursing home. She was one of the healthiest there. but still not so swift. When I called her the staff would pick up first and i would ask the staff to call my granma downstairs. She stayed on the third floor and the phone was on the ground floor. Then I hung up the phone to save money. Five minutes later I would call again and my grandma would pick up. I liked that ritual.

Seeing in person is most intimate, rewarding and substantial way to connect and none of other communication tools can substitute for it. but when it is not physically possible the best we can do is to use everything and anything available to stay in touch. it is real tough when you cannot be there for someone.

Once a week i call my parents and sometimes when i am too busy then i call once in ten days.

I talk to my older parents every day on Skype to Skype for free. Even if they didn't have a computer or Skype, I could call them on their landline for a little more than 2 cents per minute and I would spend it in a heartbeat. Some day I won't be able to talk to them when I want to do so.

Our calls have brought us closer together now than we have been in the many years since I left home to work. Even if it's nothing more than what they had for dinner, or did that day, or what the weather is doing on either end, it draws us closer. They now look forward to our chat every day, and ask if something happened if I call to talk a little later than normal.

Hola Carlos
¿Tienes unos padres mas jovenes, tambien?

Je! Je! Je!