How do you deal with the 'missing family' aspect of immigration?

tygwyn · #1 (**permalink**) 17th May 2007, 01:21 PM

I have been quite hardened to the 'missing family' aspect of the immigration process since it all started..........up until my mum came to visit 6 weeks ago!!! She is due to leave on Sunday and I know that it is finally going to hit me (and my 7 year old daughter!!) that we live on the other side of the world! The fact that we have a web cam really helps to bridge the gap but obviously its not the same.

How do you guys deal with it? I can cope with me getting a little homesick (or person sick!) but I'm dreading my daughter going through it when my mum leaves!

Any advice appreciated!

tygwyn · #2 (**permalink**) 20th May 2007, 12:40 AM

Well the day has arrived when my mum has to leave

I must admit that this feels worse than when we had to say goodbye to her in the UK. I just feel sooooo guilty for taking her grand daughter to the other side of the world. Its a horrible horrible feeling.

I'm sure it'll pass

travisboy · #3 (**permalink**) 21st May 2007, 07:42 AM

Sorry to hear you're having a bad time - thats one of the big problems with emigrating - family! Its far tougher than anyone can imagine. Well I reckon it is anyway!

TB

cmallon · #4 (**permalink**) 3rd September 2007, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tygwyn

Well the day has arrived when my mum has to leave

I must admit that this feels worse than when we had to say goodbye to her in the UK. I just feel sooooo guilty for taking her grand daughter to the other side of the world. Its a horrible horrible feeling.

I'm sure it'll pass

Did it pass? How long did it take? All of my family are really supporttive of us going to Australia and have said that we need to do what is right for us and it is such an opportunity etc etc but I still feel bad about taking their grandson/great grandson (he is only 2 1/2) away

scottishcelts · #5 (**permalink**) 4th September 2007, 08:41 PM

Think yourselves lucky, some of us don't have that problem. I can't wait to see the back of my family.

cmallon · #6 (**permalink**) 6th September 2007, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scottishcelts

Think yourselves lucky, some of us don't have that problem. I can't wait to see the back of my family.

I have some family that I am not in contact with and have not even told that we are leaving, dealing with that aspect for me has been a lot easier than feeling guilty about leaving the ones that I do love. Apart from being lucky enough to be getting the opportunity to go to Australia I can't see why I should be lucky that I will be leaving people I love very much with the possibilty of never seeing them again and their great grandson growing up not remembering what wonderful people they are!!

Penguins_Pet_Pumpkin · #7 (**permalink**) 7th September 2007, 05:47 AM

I agree, cmallon. I consider myself lucky to have had the mother I have, but not lucky in the least to be 6000 miles from her. That's really the only downside to my relocation, but it's a very BIG downside!

tygwyn · #8 (**permalink**) 26th September 2007, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmallon

Did it pass? How long did it take? All of my family are really supporttive of us going to Australia and have said that we need to do what is right for us and it is such an opportunity etc etc but I still feel bad about taking their grandson/great grandson (he is only 2 1/2) away

Yep it passed! It only took a couple of days and by the time my mum was home and back on the webcam again everything was back to normal.

You will feel guilty - no doubt about it - but it wont overwhelm you - it'll just come in waves every now and again.

Take care

Rach

Aussiejock · #9 (**permalink**) 28th September 2007, 08:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tygwyn

Yep it passed! It only took a couple of days and by the time my mum was home and back on the webcam again everything was back to normal.

You will feel guilty - no doubt about it - but it wont overwhelm you - it'll just come in waves every now and again.

Take care

Rach

Maybe I'm heartless but I did not give a thought to how my children felt about not having grandparents close at hand. We became a very close family unit and my boys never once said that they missed their grandparents. The eldest 2, however, were only 3 and 1 year and 10 months when we came, the other 2 were born here so never saw their grandparents except when they visited. Now, I'm the grandparent and everything is sweet. There's no good feeling guilty, you've emigrated and the children cope. You have a unique opportunity to create a very strong bond with your children -don't let
it pass you by.

scottishcelts · #10 (**permalink**) 30th September 2007, 01:15 PM

DITTO! Exactly, aussiejock, you hit the nail on the head, there's no point emigrating if your going to spend your whole time depressing about left behind family. You have to focus on the future you will be setting up for yourselves and children. Hard fact to face, but grandparents will not be around for ever, move on and think ahead!