French Ettiquette

[AbigailApril429]

just asking for some general advice here...

I've been reading up on basics such as keeping your hands above the table but I was hoping for some advice on how to be polite in different situations
such as with your landlord, teacher or just on an every-day basis with shopkeepers,
waiters, etc.

any advice or anything you wish you'd been taught before you came to France?

one thing in particular... every french class I've been in has only ever taught "enchanté" as the equivalent to "pleased to meet you" are there alternatives?

thank you

[Bevdeforges]

You may want to try and find a book called "French or Foe" by Polly Platt, which addresses quite a few issues of "etiquette" at least among the Parisian circles.

Enchanté works just fine for meeting people. In most circles, you'll find people don't introduce their partners or companions to each other, and you wind up addressing people as "Madame" and "Monsieur" with no surname attached. (I always figured this for discretion, in case the person you've run into is out with someone not their spouse.)

With shopkeepers, you ALWAYS say "bonjour" (or bon soir) on entering a shop, and "au revoir, merci" on leaving. Same holds true when you enter and leave a restaurant. Often, you greet everyone in the shop (if it's a small shop and there are people standing in line) on entry and on departure. Oh, and when greeting older persons or anyone you should show respect towards, use "Madame" or "Monsieur" - saying simply "bonjour" rather than "bonjour, Madame" is considered terribly familiar by some.

Oh, and never just jump into the subject matter you called about when making a phone call. You always have to "chat" briefly - "oh, how are you? " "have I caught you at a bad time?" and general chitchat - before launching into your question or topic. This is one habit I have a terrible time getting into.
Cheers,
Bev

[parsnips]

Hi,
NEVER use the verb "introduire" as in the english " may I introduce you to my wife", because in french it means" physically insert into ", and while in some situations, can cause great amusement, in formal relations could be a huge embarrassment.

[minesthechevy]

When you go into a shop, glance around with a big smile and say 'M'sieurDames', its like saying 'hello everyone'. A vague 'Bon journee' when leaving is about right.

When you get familar enough to greet females by kissing on the cheeks, do it with about 10% of the force you first think of - teh english always do it with way too much gusto to begin with.

Ask me how I know that....

By contrast, a firm handshake between blokes is always required - something that's quite difficult when you're missing most of the muscles of your right hand.

Ask me how I know that....

And, to expand a bit on parsnips point, one does NOT say you want to 'baiser' one's mates wife, one 'donner les bissous' instead. There is a world of difference, and again, ask me how I know that.

[someday81]

Originally Posted by AbigailApril429

just asking for some general advice here...

I've been reading up on basics such as keeping your hands above the table but I was hoping for some advice on how to be polite in different situations
such as with your landlord, teacher or just on an every-day basis with shopkeepers,
waiters, etc.

any advice or anything you wish you'd been taught before you came to France?

one thing in particular... every french class I've been in has only ever taught "enchanté" as the equivalent to "pleased to meet you" are there alternatives?

thank you

One way (but a rather formal way) I was taught to say to pleased to meet you along with enchanté is: Je suis hereux de faire votre connaissance (Literally, I am happy to make your acquaintance).

[Bevdeforges]

As long as we're still on the topic of introductions (in the English sense!), I've found that the protocol seems to be to introduce yourself by saying your name as you shake the hand of a new person.
Cheers,
Bev

[GALLUS]

alternatives to ''enchante'' when speaking face to face

- ravi de vous connaitre: happy to meet you (if you have been introduced by a third person or by yourself)
- tres heureux (se) : same as above (quite formal, and used when in a small group)
- (je suis) tres heureux (se) de vous avoir rencontre(e): used when leaving someone you to wish to meet again, after a party or a dinner, and any formal occasion, not when leaving shops and acquaintances

table etiquette
- do not do it the French way if you can, use your own etiquette (British or US), be yourself
- no big mistakes to me made except asking for crackers when cheese is brought to table (French eat bread with cheese)
-

shopping - retaurants - bars etiquette
- bonjour Monsieur (man) or bonjour Madame (lady or even spinster) or bonjour Messieurs-dames (ladies and gentlemen, when they are any customers already in the shop/bar)

- au revoir, merci, you an also add: bonne journee (have a nice day)

- when leaving, shop owner whishes you 'bonne journee' , you can answer : pareillement [pa-ray-ye-man) (wishing you the same) or use "merci, vous de meme'', or ''egalement" same meaning.

- au revoir Messieurs-dames : in popular French [orwar msiodam] (addressing all present when leaving) is used when you have directly interacted or spoken to one the guests or shoppers.

- you might also hear bybye and ciao, which I do not recommend as a first step.

phone etiquette
- receiving calls: allo (just wait and see what the caller wants, do not mention names or quality except in an office, shop, business)
- making calls: allo bonjour, je m'appelle Mr Smith (your identity), je souhaiterais parler a Mademoisellle Cantoni (what you want)
- alternative when making calls: allo bonjour Monsieur (ou Madame) Cantoni (the ID of the other person), est-ce que vous pourriez m'aider? (solliciting assistance), je voudrais visiter la maison de (what do you want)
- alternative when making calls (when you are not sure of the number): allo bonjour, est-ce que je suis bien chez Rasta Hair (your favorite hairdresser)? or est-ce que je suis bien au 01 23 45 67 89?


bonne chance

gallus

[rollerbahn]

Okay here are some random things I have learned, but may or may not be valid anymore, or in all households:

Do not take a bath ever in the home of someone you are staying with and do not know very well...

The notion popular or common in the US of 'my house is your house' is not as common in France, and you really must play and welcome the role of guest when invited into someones home. They are happy to serve you as their guest, and you must in turn graciously play your part, meaning make yourself comfortable, but not too comfortable...

When invited to someones house for apero or dinner, do not serve yourself a glass, or refill your glass, especially if you are a woman - wait until the host or someone else offers you more - or invites you to servez vous...although I have had debates on this. Supposedly when a lady is out and her glass remains empty, it looks bad for her to fill her own glass, but it looks worse of her date for not being attentive enough...but if anyone knows the real etiquette on this, please shine some light!

[rollerbahn]

That is SO true about the phone ettiquette! Also in any situation when requesting information or asking a question. For example, in the states you can stop someone on the street by saying, - "Excuse me, do you know what time it is?" - but if you were to say the same thing in France it would seem a bit rough and throw off the person. YOu must almost always preface a question with hello, before asking a stranger a question. There is this format for brief interactions that should be followed in order to be understood and appear polite.

[minesthechevy]

A really good opener to a stranger, eg when asking the way, is

'Bonjour, j'espere que je ne vous derange pas, mais......'