hooked on egyption man

[missirish]

Hi

I think i might be considered naive but i dont care.

Here are the facts:

I met him online hahahha but it was not a chatroom. it was in a game. thats all i wil say. i knew him quite a while before i added him to msn.

He was engaged to be married and only wanted friendship as did i. He found me hilarious with the things i wud come out with and i would constantly tease him.. I think he just wanted a laugh. We were honestly just great friends.

He told me of his family and things which were going on. (not sick mother or anything like this.. real issues which i know to be true and cant be resolved financially)

His engagement finished for reasons i would not like to get into.. Very valid reasons but its not my place to tell his business on here. He showed me pictures of his engagement party and his family

We would have talks on religion both mine and his and he would talk of his egypt and what it was like there.
No love talk of any sort

But after a while i found myself getting more and more attracted to him. I love his mind, his way of thinking and his perception on the way he would like life to be.
He has a very good job, a degree and owns a flat (from the time he was engaged). He had bought the furniture etc.

i thought it best to keep my feelings to myself because i didnt think that he would appreciate me complicating things, together with the reason that i am a very proud woman. i left it months. We started to talk about something very personal things that upset me one night and he started to make me feel better about it (as u do, i was upset) this night i told him that he was the nicest man i ever met and that it would be great if there were more like him, he said the same to me. .. Then it pretty much grew from there.

I had no doubts about him until i started reading threads online about egyption scam artists. Now im an intelligent woman. I am training to be an accountant but i dont earn much and he knows this. but stil i find myself being cautious about him now.

I have accused him of trying to con me and he just takes it from me all the time. I see it kills him on the camera but he just says its ur right to be careful. u will know soon when u see me in person i promise. i will erase all doubt. but i still do it over and over again to him. we could be having fun and laughing and then i feel my wall lowering and ill say something to put it back up again.. i can c it in his face, but he als remains calm with me and listens and justifys everything i throw at him.
i set up dummy msn and tried to add him and he didnt fall for the bait.

he plans on coming to see me in a two months and i thought he needed invite letter but he says no that he does not want it that he will try to get visa and come on tourist visa.
wants me to meet his family, told them about me.
He said its customery for the man to get engaged for a period and then marry. The couple get to know each other after her hand in marraige is requested. He asked me and i got a little freaked out because usually here they wait years before asking. He told me its commonplace to ask early and be engaged for period of getting to know the person and then decide if they will marry. I told him i was no where near ready and he just said, when u decide habibi

He says i make him laugh and that he is sure i will make me happy. When i start with my accusations he tells me that he promises that i will never regret loving him. He swears by god. (he is a devout muslim).
I ask him about religious differences and he said its allowed to marry christian but if i dont want to convert its not a problem. i told him i have no intentions of converting and he says ok as long as the children are muslim

i am two years older than him (not much) and i have children. I wondered what he wanted with me as i thought he would be scrutinised for being with a woman with children who were not his. He makes excuses for me and says that if things had of been right with the man i picked i would have been married already. He tries to turn me into a good person hahhahah. His family have asked about the children too.

He says he doesnt choose who he falls for and believes that its ok or god would not have matched us.. He says its out of our hands.
He talks of me moving to egypt, telling me there are schools for the kids(international). He says not to worry about anything that we will sort things out.

Im afraid i will ruin things with him because of all the threads i have read and i told him i wil stop reading.. He says no.. read what u want. i dont care what u read. he says i will know when i meet him.

One night i was going out with the girls and was wearing low cut clothes. I did not think much of it until he mentioned it. He says my clothes are mostly fine but he says that he felt a little sad that i was going out with this top on. I got cross and told him i wasnt in egypt and he just looked genuinely upset and said something like.. men will be looking at ur skin.

He give me his phone number and he has mine.. but i dont use it much.mostly to tell him when im online and he does the same.

Look i hate to hurt him with my doubts, he constantly begs me to trust him. I know its awful for him and it is for me too. He does make me happy and to be honest people say its not real to fall in love online but for me its real. and when i meet him i just know i will love him more. My heart swells for him at the very sight of him. Its not lust either..

oh yes and he showed me his work ID, his national ID, he tells me to email anyone of his contacts on msn or anywhere else to ask about his character. He acts like he has nothing to hide and constantly tells me he has never lied to me.
I know this is long but i wanted to tell u everything. I need an outsiders point of view. I wonder if im blinded a little.
Pls no calling me stupid hahah. I would really appreciated ur intelligent opinions and views on my situation. I know u cant tell me what to do, but maybe from what i have said u might be able to tell me if i am ok to let this run or not. I dont want to lose the best thing that could ever happen to me but i do want to get rid of someone who is trying to con me. hahhaah (see my confusion!!)

[bat]

Originally Posted by missirish

Hi

I think i might be considered naive but i dont care.

Here are the facts:

I met him online hahahha but it was not a chatroom. it was in a game. thats all i wil say. i knew him quite a while before i added him to msn.

He was engaged to be married and only wanted friendship as did i. He found me hilarious with the things i wud come out with and i would constantly tease him.. I think he just wanted a laugh. We were honestly just great friends.

He told me of his family and things which were going on. (not sick mother or anything like this.. real issues which i know to be true and cant be resolved financially)

His engagement finished for reasons i would not like to get into.. Very valid reasons but its not my place to tell his business on here. He showed me pictures of his
engagement party and his famil

We would have talks on religion both mine and his and he would talk of his egypt and what it was like there.
No love talk of any sort

But after a while i found myself getting more and more attracted to him. I love his mind, his way of thinking and his perception on the way he would like life to be.
He has a very good job, a degree and owns a flat (from the time he was engaged). He had bought the furniture etc.

i thought it best to keep my feelings to myself because i didnt think that he would appreciate me complicating things, together with the reason that i am a very proud

woman. i left it months. We started to talk about something very personal things thaupset me one night and he started to make me feel better about it (as u do, i was

upset) this night i told him that he was the nicest man i ever met and that it w

great if there were more like him, he said the same to me. .. Then it pretty much grew from there.

I had no doubts about him until i started reading threads online about egyption scam artists. Now im an intelligent woman. I am training to be an accountant but i dont earn much and he knows this. but stil i find myself being cautious about him now.

I have accused him of trying to con me and he just takes it from me all the time. I see it kills him on the camera but he just says its ur right to be careful. u will know soon when u see me in person i promise. i will erase all doubt. but i still do it over and over again to him. we could be having fun and laughing and then i feel my wall lowering and ill say something to put it back up again.. i can c it in his face, but he als remains calm with me and listens and justifys everything i throw at him.
i set up dummy msn and tried to add him and he didnt fall for the bai










he plans on coming to see me in a two months and i thought he needed invite letter but he says no that he does not want it that he will try to get visa and come on tourist visa.
wants me to meet his family, told them about me.
He said its customery for the man to get engaged for a period and then marry. The couple get to know each other after her hand in marraige is requested. He asked me and i got a little freaked out because usually here they wait years before asking. He told me its commonplace to ask early and be engaged for period of getting to know the person and then decide if they will marry. I told him i was no where near ready and he just said, when u decide habibi

He says i make him laugh and that he is sure i will make me happy. When i start with my accusations he tells me that he promises that i will never regret lhis wears



swears by god. (he is a devout muslim)













I ask him about religious differences and he said its allowed to marry christian but if i dont want to convert its not a problem. i told him i have no intentions of converting and he says ok as long as the children are muslim

i am two years older than him (not much) and i have children. I wondered what he wanted with me as i thought he would be scrutinised for being with a woman with children who were not his. He makes excuses for me and says that if things had of been right with the man i picked i would have been married already. He tries to turn me into a good person hahhahah. His family have asked about the children too.

He says he doesnt choose who he falls for and believes that its ok or god would not have matched us.. He says its out of our hands.
He talks of me moving to egypt, telling me there are schools for the kids(international). He says not to worry about anything that we will sort things out.

Im afraid i will ruin things with him because of all the threads i have read and i tol

him i wil stop reading.. He says no.. read what u want. i dont care what u read. he says i will know when i meet him.

One night i was going out with the girls and was wearing low cut clothes. I did not think much of it until he mentioned it. He says my clothes are mostly fine but he says that he felt a little sad that i was going out with this top on. I got cross and told him i wasnt in egypt and he just looked genuinely upset and said something like.. mewilebe looking at ur skin.

He give me his phone number and he has mine.. but i dont use it much.mostly to tell him when im online and he does the same.

Look i hate to hurt him with my doubts, he constantly begs me to trust him. I know its awful for him and it is for me too. He does make me happy and to be honest people say its not real to fall in love online but for me its real. and when i meet him i just know i will love him more. My heart swells for him at the very sight of him. Its not lust eit

oh yes and he showed me his work ID, his national ID, he tells me to email anyone of his contacts on msn or anywhere else to ask about his character. He acts like he has nothing to hide and constantly tells me he has never lied to me.
I know this is long but i wanted to tell u everything. I need an outsiders point of view. I wonder if im blinded a little.
Pls no calling me stupid hahah. I would really appreciated ur intelligent opinions and views on my situation. I know u cant tell me what to do, but maybe from what i have said u might be able to tell me if i am ok to let this run or not. I dont want to lose the best thing that could ever happen to me but i do want to get rid of someone who is trying to con me. hahhaah (see my confusion!!)

Good morning bat here.
Was in similar position to you many years ago.
And know of another Irish girl also who I think in similar position and it worked out for her. First of all were is his flat and what's his job did he say how much he earned. Also is he thinking of moving to uk or you coming here. Also I don't think it's a matter of conning . But you marry here with the best advantages. Sorry to say he's trying to tell you what to wear, though I can see were he's coming from,is only the start of it . It gets worse believe you me. What age are your children. Also international schools cost a fortune so unless he owns or works for an international company forget it.take it a step at a time. If he gets a visa to uk irland etc. If he's a devout Muslim or a good Egyptian , then he will not stay with you he will take a hotel etc,
But first of all see if he gets a visa. Yes Egyptian men I must admit are something else, but when you marry them you marry the whole family. His family will not be happy that you have children ( what ever he says , been there so I know.)but just see but don't burn your bridges. You said you were in training what ever you do do finish it. I was in the middle of something when I came and never finished and still regret not finishing. Sure you'll here from others in similar position.bat

[MaidenScotland]

Hi and welcome.

I think Bat put it all rather well.
Yes there are internet romances that work and with Egyptian men but it is safe to say that the majority don't.
He owns a flat and furnished it... usually the brides parents furnish the flat? where is it?
I have been in flats with one window for the whole flat!! It may not be what you think a flat is.
Does he have a computer in his house or is it an internet cafe he uses?
Egyptian men's families want them to marry virgins...and so do Egyptian men.. unless there is another sweetener.
He has already complained about what you are wearing and you haven't even met him. Lets be honest here if you were in the Uk/Ireland and someone you had gone out with say 3 times told you not to wear something as he didn't want men looking at you... you would say..On your bike mate. If you come here and marry him it will get worse. If he can't stand the thought of a man looking at your low top just think how he will feel thinking about you not being a virgin.
He is trying to control you from afar.
Yes it is customary to get engaged first... but that is when he is marrying an Egyptian girl and the parents have met and sorted it all out.
What about your customs? Your customs don't matter.
He will want children and his family will want them even more.. where do you stand on that?
Your children will take second place in his family when and if you have children with their son.
If he was a good Muslim man when he was engaged he would not have developed an on line friendship with a women regardless of the tone of the friendship and to be honest they all say they are good Muslims.. it means nothing.
Chances of him getting a tourist visa to visit a woman he met on line are slim to none... he will have to have money in the bank and a job to prove that he has something to come back to.

The choice is yours to make but remember you are not only making a choice for you but for your children.

Maiden

btw it is not just Egyptian men that try and con you and get visa to the west... but it does tend to be people from third world or developing countries eager to leave their country behind.

[jojo]

You havent even met him????????

Forget the possibility that he may be scamming you - at this stage thats neither here or there and you only have his word for anything.......and he yours come to that.

You havent a clue who or what he is, so love and commitment are light years away! I suggest you meet him. Look at him objectively, see whether he is someone that you and your children could actually associate and enjoy being with before you start to think about taking things any further than just an internet flirt

Jo xxx

[Horus]

He is probably a very nice person I always think it's nice to take a chance you are a grown adult and know the risks that these things often just don't work out but you don't know until you try them.

The key element is don't burn your bridges back home - and have an escape plan and some cash ready to get back to the UK

[MaidenScotland]

Originally Posted by Horus

He is probably a very nice person I always think it's nice to take a chance you are a grown adult and know the risks that these things often just don't work out but you don't know until you try them.

The key element is don't burn your bridges back home - and have an escape plan and some cash ready to get back to the UK

It's easy to take a risk when you are single.. but when children are involved it is a whole different ball game,

[sjpsjp]

Originally Posted by missirish

Hi

I think i might be considered naive but i dont care.

Here are the facts:

I met him online hahahha but it was not a chatroom. it was in a game. thats all i wil say. i knew him quite a while before i added him to msn.

He was engaged to be married and only wanted friendship as did i. He found me hilarious with the things i wud come out with and i would constantly tease him.. I think he just wanted a laugh. We were honestly just great friends.

He told me of his family and things which were going on. (not sick mother or anything like this.. real issues which i know to be true and cant be resolved financially)

His engagement finished for reasons i would not like to get into.. Very valid reasons but its not my place to tell his business on here. He showed me pictures of his engagement party and his family

We would have talks on religion both mine and his and he would talk of his egypt and what it was like there.
No love talk of any sort

But after a while i found myself getting more and more attracted to him. I love his mind, his way of thinking and his perception on the way he would like life to be.
He has a very good job, a degree and owns a flat (from the time he was engaged). He had bought the furniture etc.

i thought it best to keep my feelings to myself because i didnt think that he would appreciate me complicating things, together with the reason that i am a very proud woman. i left it months. We started to talk about something very personal things that upset me one night and he started to make me feel better about it (as u do, i was upset) this night i told him that he was the nicest man i ever met and that it would be great if there were more like him, he said the same to me. .. Then it pretty much grew from there.

I had no doubts about him until i started reading threads online about egyption scam artists. Now im an intelligent woman. I am training to be an accountant but i dont earn much and he knows this. but stil i find myself being cautious about him now.

I have accused him of trying to con me and he just takes it from me all the time. I see it kills him on the camera but he just says its ur right to be careful. u will know soon when u see me in person i promise. i will erase all doubt. but i still do it over and over again to him. we could be having fun and laughing and then i feel my wall lowering and ill say something to put it back up again.. i can c it in his face, but he als remains calm with me and listens and justifys everything i throw at him.
i set up dummy msn and tried to add him and he didnt fall for the bait.

he plans on coming to see me in a two months and i thought he needed invite letter but he says no that he does not want it that he will try to get visa and come on tourist visa.
wants me to meet his family, told them about me.
He said its customery for the man to get engaged for a period and then marry. The couple get to know each other after her hand in marraige is requested. He asked me and i got a little freaked out because usually here they wait years before asking. He told me its commonplace to ask early and be engaged for period of getting to know the person and then decide if they will marry. I told him i was no where near ready and he just said, when u decide habibi

He says i make him laugh and that he is sure i will make me happy. When i start with my accusations he tells me that he promises that i will never regret loving him. He swears by god. (he is a devout muslim).
I ask him about religious differences and he said its allowed to marry christian but if i dont want to convert its not a problem. i told him i have no intentions of converting and he says ok as long as the children are muslim

i am two years older than him (not much) and i have children. I wondered what he wanted with me as i thought he would be scrutinised for being with a woman with children who were not his. He makes excuses for me and says that if things had of been right with the man i picked i would have been married already. He tries to turn me into a good person hahhahah. His family have asked about the children too.

He says he doesnt choose who he falls for and believes that its ok or god would not have matched us.. He says its out of our hands.
He talks of me moving to egypt, telling me there are schools for the kids(international). He says not to worry about anything that we will sort things out.

Im afraid i will ruin things with him because of all the threads i have read and i told him i wil stop reading.. He says no.. read what u want. i dont care what u read. he says i will know when i meet him.

One night i was going out with the girls and was wearing low cut clothes. I did not think much of it until he mentioned it. He says my clothes are mostly fine but he says that he felt a little sad that i was going out with this top on. I got cross and told him i wasnt in egypt and he just looked genuinely upset and said something like.. men will be looking at ur skin.

He give me his phone number and he has mine.. but i dont use it much.mostly to tell him when im online and he does the same.

Look i hate to hurt him with my doubts, he constantly begs me to trust him. I know its awful for him and it is for me too. He does make me happy and to be honest people say its not real to fall in love online but for me its real. and when i meet him i just know i will love him more. My heart swells for him at the very sight of him. Its not lust either..

oh yes and he showed me his work ID, his national ID, he tells me to email anyone of his contacts on msn or anywhere else to ask about his character. He acts like he has nothing to hide and constantly tells me he has never lied to me.
I know this is long but i wanted to tell u everything. I need an outsiders point of view. I wonder if im blinded a little.
Pls no calling me stupid hahah. I would really appreciated ur intelligent opinions and views on my situation. I know u cant tell me what to do, but maybe from what i have said u might be able to tell me if i am ok to let this run or not. I dont want to lose the best thing that could ever happen to me but i do want to get rid of someone who is trying to con me. hahhaah (see my confusion!!)

Hello, only you know what you want to do but please have in mind men here know what they are doing (not every man here is bad i would like to say) just some are,the same as all over the world but it has been known many times they may have 3 or 4 windows open at the same time.
I agree if it was you alone go along with it enjoy it and see where it takes you but there are children involved so think first.
Never have him tell you about your clothes etc,that would be a taste as what might come and get worse!!
hope it all works for you whatever you do in the end
x

[jojo]

Originally Posted by MaidenScotland

It's easy to take a risk when you are single.. but when children are involved it is a whole different ball game,

Quite! When I was inbetween marriages and had two little girls I wouldnt entertain anyone who didnt like children and then if I did think that "maybe"??? I would then subtly introduce my kids to him. I would then make sure they all met several times, liked each other, formed a friendship beyond the "sweeties bribe" (most of my potential suiters brought sweets for the kids thinking they could buy them - no problem with that but my kids saw through it) before I would allow anyone, including myself to think beyond just a friendship. As for commiting to living with, marrying etc - absolutely not til I was satisfied that it would work on all levels, but especially for my kids! I dumped a couple who I thought were "the one" because all was not well with my daughters.



Jo xxx

[missirish]

Thank you so much for ur replysHi all
Firstly thank u all for ur quick replys to my thread.. You have been so helpful. Firstly to answer your questions. The flat is in alex. He leases it to a married couple. He still lives at home but travels weekly to cairo for work.. He is engineer who does work for international company, and does have money in the bank.

He has every intention of staying in a hotel when he comes and has booked one. He knows that i wont show him to my children i have told him this. I have to be very careful. He want me to book a room in the hotel also to spend the week with him.
My children will always come first so no one need worry about that believe me.

I have told him that i need to finish my training and he agrees that i should. No decisions have been made yet on where we will go or live but i i will remain where its best for me and my children. Here.

Yes they all say they are good muslims and to be honest i think on this always. Sometimes i have to admit that a comment one of u made gets to me alot.. Why did he add me when he was engaged. The truth is i was in relationship also but very unhappy. I didnt tell him this and have since ended it. I told him when i ended it. Not because of egyption man but because i felt that if i was adding a man on msn that it said something. Im a loyal woman and started to think on my situation. He says he was unsure of his relationship and her mother would give him a hard time always. He said they were spiteful people and was unsure from the beginning. He said he thought she was beautiful but that he wanted more. He thinks that some egyption women only care for money and gold and material things.. i think he was bitten and is a little sour about it..

He bought the appliances he says .. hahahha I have feeling about him but im not sure if it was caused by reading other peoples stories. He says hes never been with a woman but yet he would be with me.. if i commit to him he says that he would marry me in the airport hahahahhahahahahhhh. Maybe he is sick of waiting on a bit i dont know. hahahah He says he would need to make things right .

He has his own computer.. and internet. I wil meet him here and let it run until then. Just in case he is genuine i want to give him the chance. He has told his parents he will come and they dont seem to mind as long as he is happy but they have asked about the children.. He did not tell me much.

in relation to premarital relations he says if i want we can wait.. gives me some crap about not caring he is not the first as long as hes the last... the more i write to more i analyise this and think hes full of it..

i am catholic and i believe in my faith but i dont follow my faith by the book but from what i have read i think muslims normally do.. He prays he fasts he does all the things hes meant to do. Maybe he will follow the parts that suits him. I am one of the most paranoid people in the world and believe me i give him a hard time.
but i have to admit that the fact that he is interested in me at all when i have children rings alarm bells.. They want to marry virgins. Near the time he will probably come up with an excuse that he cant come.. i have a feeling he might.. A friend of his traveled last year so maybe he wil get visa i dont know..

Thanks again everyone.. Im sure u have heard a story like this numerous times and replied to similar threads quite often.. I am so gutted at the thought of him messing with me.. I genuinely am a nice person who has made mistakes of course but i dont deserve this happening to me. I have had an awful year.. my youngest was born with a condition but gladly it was fixed and she is completely normal now.. He knows about my history. i had one very bad relationship, and with him knowing all this and still wishing to dupe me (and being such a good muslim !!!!!!!) i wonder about human nature. I am upset and angry that i am so stupid.. and angry that i let myself get sucked in. I hope i can eventually bring myself to delete the msn account altogether. The truth is that i never felt good enough because of my situation.. He als tells me i am too hard on myself and that i dont realise that im on the top.. But its all just crap maybe its just a fantasy but id like to think that there are situations where someone just doesnt care about the past and just want what they want for the future regardles of religion and culture, but with a muslim?? i think i am fantacising..

Yesterday i showed him a webisite called liarscheats*******s with men of this sort. Told him he will go up there on it if he is messing.. He thought it was funny...
Thank u so much everyone..You have no idea how much i appreciate your honest comments.. I have taken them on baord.. My children will always come first.. I wont be moving anywhere. I love them to death. Its time for me now to stop being selfish ..

[jojo]

One things for sure, it doesnt matter how many websites you show him or how many times you tell him, even if he were a liar and a cheat he aint gonna admit it to you!!

Personally I'd go find someone you can actually touch, see and feel, and for a good long time too, before I let my feeling go anywhere!!