Mixed Relationships

[DeadGuy]

"You're Egyptian, DeadGuy. If I started a thread from new, saying Egyptian men are scum, wouldn't you find this offensive? Not 'some Egyptian men, such as those who try to seduce foreign women for money' but a blanket statement on Egyptian men. That's what's happened here."

You do have a point, but to be honest??? if any Egyptian male would take that an offensive comment??? then he should be aware of the reason why most foreign people think this way about Egyptian men, and for me??? seeing those low lives doing their best to rob any non Egyptian -women or men- offends me more than anyone saying that Egyptian guys are scums!!!

I do not take it in the offending way, simply cause I am aware of where all these comments coming from, people don't judge other people like that! But in your case (being a foreigner I mean) the minute you step out of the plane at the airport you're someone's target!!! and that offends me the most, cause in some situations where I saw foreigners getting themselves close enough to get robbed I had the "no thanks, don't need your help" attitude when I tried to warn them, and to be honest with you?? in this case I just back off, I just watch them getting robbed and shut my mouth, cause there's nothing else that I can do about it besides warning the "victims" themselves that would stop them from getting robbed (even the local police crap, they'd be happy to split the money with the con, trust me!!! they know cons by their first names, and they do get money from them in most cases!!!!) BUT though I was treated just like any of those jerks would be treated???? I do NOT take it as an offense cause I do understand why they said that!!!

In this case? there's an action happening, non Egyptians are being harassed 90% of the time, and as a reaction for it?? they just think most people in here are pain in the a$$!!!! so why should anyone aware of the whole situation be offended??

And you know something else that makes it worse??? all I been talking about was basically cons trying to rob money or material things, probably a taxi fee, a cell phone for a low price, a handy cam, a laptop, etc. BUT when they get low enough to go for emotions and fooling someone telling them they're in "love" with them when they're NOT???? no matter what their reasons to use that tone?? this is LOW and it can't be justified for whatever reason!

And Mr. starchief ? There is an old thing that all Egyptians know that says " elly ala raso batha yhasses aleha" and I'm not sure how I put it in English, but in brief it means that no one would be offended except for the guilty ones!

Again people, good luck in here, and I am really sorry about what you have to go through with some of the people in here! that's all I can say.

[Sam]

DeadGuy,

Hi. Firstly thank you for actually contributing to the forum in both a social and constructive way. I just hope you are not playing Devil's Advocate.

I really hope you don't mind, but I've got some questions I am burning to ask. What do you do for work, where in Egypt are you currently based, and where in Egypt do you come from originally? If you prefer not to answer such things publicly that's understandable, but just wondering.

Sam

[DeadGuy]

Originally Posted by Sam

DeadGuy,

Hi. Firstly thank you for actually contributing to the forum in both a social and constructive way. I just hope you are not playing Devil's Advocate.

I really hope you don't mind, but I've got some questions I am burning to ask. What do you do for work, where in Egypt are you currently based, and where in Egypt do you come from originally? If you prefer not to answer such things publicly that's understandable, but just wondering.

Sam

I'm not anyone's advocate, don't worry, I just know how it is to be someone's target cause I'm a Christian, and believe it or not, but Christians in here are targets, but not only for their money, but for their own lives as well!!!!!!

As for your questions, I do prefer not to answer publicly but not cause I'm the weirdo that wanna hide personal info, but cause it could get me arrested, lets just say that the national security guys in here don't like my comments on news websites and my opinions concerning what's happening in Egypt that much, so I don't wanna let them know where exactly I am!! But I can tell you that I do not live in a place where you can see foreigners on a daily basis, but I do travel to Cairo a lot since it's almost the only place that I can look for a job, and I did work in Hurgada for some time before I got fired cause I didn't agree with my boss about having 2 menus with 2 different prices for the same products! one for locals and the tax people to see and the other for people like yourself just to suck more money out of you!!

As for my job??? Welcome to Egypt! I'm a damn jobless so far!

I can stop leaving comments if anyone having concerns that I might be looking for something else besides giving my opinion and hoping to be helping someone, I won't be having a problem with that if anyone thought I'm intruding on your community in here, you just cancel my account and I'll know that I'm banned in here!

Good luck to all of you in here.

[Beatle]

Originally Posted by Sam

Hi,

Thank you everybody for comments.


Without wanting to dwell too much on the negatives, I have now heard the new low. My friend a few days ago found themselves alone on a microbus heading home, the bus driver took advantage of the situation putting his hand on their leg and offering to take them out into the desert for "you know what". After refusal he then demanded 50LE for the short journey, and being rather afraid at this point my friend obliged and left the bus. Okay, terrible situation but not unheard of, so what makes this a new low - my friend is a thirty-something MALE.

ANYWAY.
Given that Islamic law forbids a Muslim women to marry anyone but a Muslim man, I can only assume that starchief is muslim, or his wife is not. In either case he could not have faced what I consider the most difficult challenges people in these mixed relationships face, the religious difference.

This is what I really want people to understand if they do not. For any women or girls about to enter into a new relationship where they are not muslim and their guy is, I want them to understand that even if their guy seems like a liberal Muslim now (not strictly following Islamic rules) if he really believes his religion the fact that his wife is not will one day bother him. And if he really believes and he really doesn't care about his wife's religious views then he probably doesn't love you and is probably planning to leave you for Muslim wife when he gets what he needs (if he doesn't already have one, which I have also seen happen).

Again I am generalising a lot here, and I'm sure there are cases where the relationship did work out, but I have seen the same scenario all too often. Husband tries to change wife, wife doesn't agree, in these cases where the husband actually did love the wife and he does this it can leave both heart broken - this is often and unfortunately most common after they have a child together, as of course the child should be automatically Muslim, but a liberal mother often insists the child be allowed to choose which religion they want to follow, if any, and eventually splits to give the child what they consider the better or more liberal future. In the preferred cases the husband calls the split before the child is conceived in order to protect his unborn child from the potential sins the non-muslim mother will surely encourage. In any case, if it is really love then unless the mother is really acceptant of all her husbands conditions it will normally come to an end, after all there are not many if any Muslim men who will accept their child to be non-Muslim.

If your partner truly believes in his faith, but does not follow it at all, and does not even insist that you try to learn about the religion and attempt to embrace it, you really need to be questioning his behaviour. If he has no problem in cheating God (which he truly believes he will be heavily punished for) then he would have no problem in cheating you.

Anyway, if I can save just one broken heart or one child from living in a broken family I will be happy.

Sam

I have always enjoyed your threads as I find your insight on life in Sharm interesting.

I read this thread and having read the previous thread. I understood the context in which your comments were made although I have to admit I found some of the generalisations in the thread and in the previous thread uncomfortable.

Whilst I didn't agree with everything Starchief had to say (because I understood the context of most of your remarks), I understand why he considered that people making sweeping statements about Egyptian men could be racist. Ultimately, it is no better than if people hold stereotypes about Western women or any particular race.

I did find your comments offensive. I am mixed race and both parents had different religions. They had a happy marriage. I have always had mixed race friends and grown up surrounded by people with mixed backgrounds. I don't recognise the view of mixed marriages that you portray. I have observed a higher rate of divorce in Egyptian mixed marriages than in other communities but I have no idea whether this observation is borne out by statistical data. Some of the comments you make about "cheating God", I simply do not agree with you but do not see the point of a religious debate.

I would not ever wish to idealise life in Egypt or minimise the religious and cultural difficulties encountered in mixed marriages. However I would also not wish to stereotype or generalise about people of a particular race or religion

[DeadGuy]

Well, now you people are taking it to the religion thing, which is considered a very complicated and sensitive topic for Arabs in general, specifically Muslims, but let me put it this way, for 90% of Egyptians??? they fear other people more than they fear God or Allah or whatever you wanna call it, for example? you find a Muslim standing against marrying a none Muslim when other people will know about the marriage, while the same person finds it "ok" to be sleeping with anyone even a Jew as long as other people won't find out! (I got nothing against Jews, it's just that I wanted to show that some people can sleep with someone that believes in a religion that they openly say they hate the most as long as no one else can see them doing it ); You can also see a Christian hotel owner that gets himself completely drunk each and every single night and charges foreign guests extra money for everything he got in his hotel, but he makes sure he goes to church every Sunday morning and makes sure that everyone knows where he's going!! and I could see that myself while working in Hurgada! and it disgusted me more than anything else!

As for the mixed marriages coming from Beatle's view?? allow me to put it this way : I could see that you're originally from UK, means that whatever "mix" that you're talking about was in UK, but trust me, things in here are completely different, specially when it comes to a religion mix not just race,

[Beatle]

As for the mixed marriages coming from Beatle's view?? allow me to put it this way : I could see that you're originally from UK, means that whatever "mix" that you're talking about was in UK, but trust me, things in here are completely different, specially when it comes to a religion mix not just race,[/QUOTE]

One half of my mix is English yes but I have lived in Muslim countries (including Egypt) and one of my parents was Muslim so I am aware that a cultural mix can be different from a religious mix. As you have identified, religion is a sensitive topic to touch on

[DeadGuy]

Originally Posted by Beatle

One half of my mix is English yes but I have lived in Muslim countries (including Egypt) and one of my parents was Muslim so I am aware that a cultural mix can be different from a religious mix. As you have identified, religion is a sensitive topic to touch on

Here's the thing, living in a Muslim country is not the same as being a Muslim in a free country, hope you got my point cause that's all I can say in here without getting myself in a trouble.

[Beatle]

Originally Posted by DeadGuy

Here's the thing, living in a Muslim country is not the same as being a Muslim in a free country, hope you got my point cause that's all I can say in here without getting myself in a trouble.

As I said, I have experienced both which is why I understand there is a distinction.

[DeadGuy]

Originally Posted by Beatle

As I said, I have experienced both which is why I understand there is a distinction.

Thanks for understanding then, that doesn't happen a lot, specially when it comes to talks about religions with anyone in here, but thank God you people aren't thinking like Egyptians!

Good luck in here.

[starchief]

Originally Posted by DeadGuy

Here's the thing, living in a Muslim country is not the same as being a Muslim in a free country, hope you got my point cause that's all I can say in here without getting myself in a trouble.

I hope you're not as disappointed if/when you get to live abroad as I fear you might be. There are many places where the colour of your skin will likely make you a target too. And if you act like a foreigner, expect to be ripped off. Law of the jungle I'm afraid.