Question about family life and values

[wannabeelsewhere]

Hi, I am new to this forum, and this is my first post here, so please be gentle with me.
I am considering a move to either France or Cyprus in the next year, I have already moved from the UK once only to find that after doing all the research into things I thought were most important, there are issues which we did not even consider questioning, so I will be asking different questions than I did first time around.
One of my main concerns is the family life. How do Cypriots treat their children? Do they lavish them with expensive gifts and every time they ask for the new one of this or the latest one of that do they run out and buy it for them. Or do they try to fill the childrens lives with time spent with them doing things together, etc.
My reasons for asking is that the latter attitude is what I am looking for and sadly it seems that because Swedish people often compensate for their absence by induldging their children with everything they ask for, they are breeding a generation who's attitude is I want everything now. The children here have so much to offer them, they have snow for 5 months of the year, giving opportunities to ski, skate, snowboarding etc and in the summer, there are so many beautiful lakes and forests to explore, and yet they continue to crave all the material things.
Schools also, I knew that they would be much more laid back than England, and also they do not start till the year they turn 7. But I was shocked at the difference in developement, and how they really do not encourage children to achieve the best they are capable of, as long as they attain a certain level, that seems to be accepted. The christmas production by the school last year compared to our English primary was comparable to kindergarten. Please don't misunderstand me, the school and the teachers are fantastic, and the children have done things in primary that would not be offered until high school in UK eg woodwork, metalwork and sewing, but although I want the children to be allowed to be children, I also would like some encouragement for them to stretch their strengths and abilities, and not to be taught that average is best. Please could someone tell me if this is also the case in Cyprus.
I would also like to say the above are only my experiences of moving here. There are a great many positive things about the country.
These are just a couple of my questions, I am testing the water to see what you good people feed back to me.
Thank you in anticipation for your sensible answers

[Veronica]

Originally Posted by wannabeelsewhere

Hi, I am new to this forum, and this is my first post here, so please be gentle with me.
I am considering a move to either France or Cyprus in the next year, I have already moved from the UK once only to find that after doing all the research into things I thought were most important, there are issues which we did not even consider questioning, so I will be asking different questions than I did first time around.
One of my main concerns is the family life. How do Cypriots treat their children? Do they lavish them with expensive gifts and every time they ask for the new one of this or the latest one of that do they run out and buy it for them. Or do they try to fill the childrens lives with time spent with them doing things together, etc.
My reasons for asking is that the latter attitude is what I am looking for and sadly it seems that because Swedish people often compensate for their absence by induldging their children with everything they ask for, they are breeding a generation who's attitude is I want everything now. The children here have so much to offer them, they have snow for 5 months of the year, giving opportunities to ski, skate, snowboarding etc and in the summer, there are so many beautiful lakes and forests to explore, and yet they continue to crave all the material things.
Schools also, I knew that they would be much more laid back than England, and also they do not start till the year they turn 7. But I was shocked at the difference in developement, and how they really do not encourage children to achieve the best they are capable of, as long as they attain a certain level, that seems to be accepted. The christmas production by the school last year compared to our English primary was comparable to kindergarten. Please don't misunderstand me, the school and the teachers are fantastic, and the children have done things in primary that would not be offered until high school in UK eg woodwork, metalwork and sewing, but although I want the children to be allowed to be children, I also would like some encouragement for them to stretch their strengths and abilities, and not to be taught that average is best. Please could someone tell me if this is also the case in Cyprus.
I would also like to say the above are only my experiences of moving here. There are a great many positive things about the country.
These are just a couple of my questions, I am testing the water to see what you good people feed back to me.
Thank you in anticipation for your sensible answers

Hi welcome to the forum.
I cant answer the questions on schooling as I do not have children at school here but I can tell you that Cypriots are very very family oriented and like to spend as much time doing things with their children as they can. However if they have the money they will also spoil them with material possessions but that is the same as most places these days.
We find that the Cypriot children are very well balanced and polite and respectful to their elders. Unlike the Uk where I tend to cross over the road if I see a group of youths gathered, here in Cyprus I know that they will part to let me pass them and if I say hello to them in Greek they will respond in a very respectful way.
Going by what friends with children tell me I think that Cyprus is a great place to bring up children provided you have the neccessary income to maintain a decent standard.

Regards
Veronica

[wannabeelsewhere]

Thank you for your reply, Veronica, its what I thought would probably come back. If we make the move we will do so only with the ability to afford to do so. My main concern with this move is that the children are in an environment where they can learn that material things are not the most important things in life.

[kimonas]

Originally Posted by wannabeelsewhere

Thank you for your reply, Veronica, its what I thought would probably come back. If we make the move we will do so only with the ability to afford to do so. My main concern with this move is that the children are in an environment where they can learn that material things are not the most important things in life.

Cypriots are famous for their love of family and of children in particular. I've taught in several places on the island and my wife is also a teacher. The children of the major cities are spoiled rotten and are (I have to say) the most unpleasant brats I have ever had the displeasure to teach. They have absolutely no respect for other cultures and have been brainwashed into thinking that they are the centre of the universe by parents that usually have left their care to cheap foreign maids and they have been destroyed by having every latest gadget there is on the market.

The children of the smaller towns and villages (thankfully the majority) are a very different story. Normally raised by yaya (grandmother) they are quite simply well-balanced, repectful and wonderful children who revell in the large (but noisy) families that raise them to be great kids. One thing I would say is that there is a culture of the average here which sounds very familiar to that which you describe in Sweden and children are not overly encouraged to excell at school by their parents (or their teachers). Having said that, their are always exceptions and for such a small island, there is an abundance of talent and drive in youth groups, music, drama and sports - but is is by no means the standard.

[isamar]

I am Cypriot living here now. And I have to say that the family values here cannot be compared to the ones in UK. Here the most important thing is the family values!! The fact that the kids are mainly raised by grandmothers are because parents have to work but they gain so much from family. The other thing that maids raise children that seems to be diminishing as the new maids that come from Vietnam and Korea do not know how to speak greek so they can not communicate with children.
Family values here are important as at the age of 16 noone says to their children to leave the house if wanted as in UK. Children stay at their parents house until the age of 18 and the leave for studies which are Financially supported always by their parents. Thereafter if the kid is a girl getting married cypriots tend to provide the house or apt for the daughter as they feel obliged to do so by what they have been told for ages now, From that you can see the love of the cypriot parents towards their children.

[Twilight Support]

Originally Posted by isamar

I am Cypriot living here now. And I have to say that the family values here cannot be compared to the ones in UK. Here the most important thing is the family values!! The fact that the kids are mainly raised by grandmothers are because parents have to work but they gain so much from family. The other thing that maids raise children that seems to be diminishing as the new maids that come from Vietnam and Korea do not know how to speak greek so they can not communicate with children.
Family values here are important as at the age of 16 noone says to their children to leave the house if wanted as in UK. Children stay at their parents house until the age of 18 and the leave for studies which are Financially supported always by their parents. Thereafter if the kid is a girl getting married cypriots tend to provide the house or apt for the daughter as they feel obliged to do so by what they have been told for ages now, From that you can see the love of the cypriot parents towards their children.

I so agree .. Seeing Fathers and sons fishing together , and the feeling of saftey in Cyprus is priceless

[colroy]

Hi wanabe
Veronica is correct about cypriot children being polite. I notice you live in sweden did you know there is a large swedish expat colony growing around paphos. just by akti holiday village down the apollo beach side.
colin