Do you feel that you fit in?

[BankGrad]

Interesting topic of discussion....I've lived in three Western countries and several developing countries and never quite felt like I fit in anwhere. Not that I'm unhappy about it or anything...it's normal to me. I liked all of the countries that I lived btw and have managed to retain friendships to this day.

[jlms]

Outsider.

I just gave up and gravitated towards a resident minority (Spanish speaking people) .

Brits are far too reserved and frankly I have got only one life time, so I can't wait for them to warm up to foreigners

[Pasanada]

Originally Posted by jlms

Outsider.

I just gave up and gravitated towards a resident minority (Spanish speaking people) . Muy bien!

Brits are far too reserved and frankly I have got only one life time, so I can't wait for them to warm up to foreigners

Are you serious???? You've obviously not met moi!!

[jlms]

Outsider.

If you dont fit in a pigeon hole you are pretty much in your own. Then you join with other expats, that kind of defeats the purpose to live abroad, but the Brits tend to be too conservative and dont open to foreigners easily.

In other countries it was piece of cake to make new native friends, not so easy in the uk ....

[Pasanada]

Originally Posted by jlms

Outsider.

If you dont fit in a pigeon hole you are pretty much in your own. Then you join with other expats, that kind of defeats the purpose to live abroad, but the Brits tend to be too conservative and dont open to foreigners easily.

In other countries it was piece of cake to make new native friends, not so easy in the uk ....

Brits are renouned for welcoming people from other countries so I disagree with you on this. Maybe YOU have to make more of an effort to integrate

Try living in Spain; Spaniards are not renouned for letting outsiders into their inner circles, they've also been accused of being racist.

I've lived in 2 foreign countries, I found Spain more difficult to integrate into than the Middle East (UAE). Also, if you don't attempt to speak the language of the country you reside in, you will encounter many obstacles

[jlms]

Originally Posted by Pasanada

Brits are renouned for welcoming people from other countries so I disagree with you on this. Maybe YOU have to make more of an effort to integrate

Try living in Spain; Spaniards are not renouned for letting outsiders into their inner circles, they've also been accused of being racist.

I've lived in 2 foreign countries, I found Spain more difficult to integrate into than the Middle East (UAE). Also, if you don't attempt to speak the language of the country you reside in, you will encounter many obstacles

Yours or mine?

You don't know me but are safely assuming I need to make more effort to integrate. After 10 years living in this country I got tired of making an effort, thanks for the advice anyway.

If Brits are so welcoming how do you explain all the racially segregated areas in most big towns and the constant barrage of anti immigrant sentiment in pretty much all media?

Spaniards can be the same, but in my case I share a language and thus a cultural heritage, which is why I have tended at the end to join with them in the UK. I didn't want to do this, but there is a point when you realize Brits are nor really convinced abut multiculturalism, and now even progressive politicians are questioning it because in reality their hearts were never into it.

I have lived in 6 countries in 4 different continents, and visited twice as many for longer then a weekend holiday, so i think I know my opinion in this matter may be relevant.

As for celebrating the UAE as a welcoming place, you obviously didn't ask an Indian or Pakistani laborer. I did, it wasn't pretty.

As for efforts to speak the language, yeah, that helps, that is why I have read many English speaking literature classics, read The independent every day, have joined book clubs (in English) and attend theater in English (I love Shakespeare, something you can't say about all Brits), but again thanks for the tip....

[Pasanada]

[quote=jlms;43607]Yours or mine?

You don't know me but are safely assuming I need to make more effort to integrate. After 10 years living in this country I got tired of making an effort, thanks for the advice anyway. -
If Brits are so welcoming how do you explain all the racially segregated areas in most big towns and the constant barrage of anti immigrant sentiment in pretty much all media?
Spaniards can be the same, but in my case I share a language and thus a cultural heritage, which is why I have tended at the end to join with them in the UK. I didn't want to do this, but there is a point when you realize Brits are nor really convinced abut multiculturalism, and now even progressive politicians are questioning it because in reality their hearts were never into it.

I have lived in 6 countries in 4 different continents, and visited twice as many for longer then a weekend holiday, so i think I know my opinion in this matter may be relevant.

As for celebrating the UAE as a welcoming place, you obviously didn't ask an Indian or Pakistani laborer. I did, it wasn't pretty.

As for efforts to speak the language, yeah, that helps, that is why I have read many English speaking literature classics, read The independent every day, have joined book clubs (in English) and attend theater in English (I love Shakespeare, something you can't say about all Brits), but again thanks for the tip....

Edited

[Pasanada]

[quote=jlms;43607]Yours or mine?

You don't know me but are safely assuming I need to make more effort to integrate. After 10 years living in this country I got tired of making an effort, thanks for the advice anyway. -
If Brits are so welcoming how do you explain all the racially segregated areas in most big towns and the constant barrage of anti immigrant sentiment in pretty much all media?
Spaniards can be the same, but in my case I share a language and thus a cultural heritage, which is why I have tended at the end to join with them in the UK. I didn't want to do this, but there is a point when you realize Brits are nor really convinced abut multiculturalism, and now even progressive politicians are questioning it because in reality their hearts were never into it.

I have lived in 6 countries in 4 different continents, and visited twice as many for longer then a weekend holiday, so i think I know my opinion in this matter may be relevant.

As for celebrating the UAE as a welcoming place, you obviously didn't ask an Indian or Pakistani laborer. I did, it wasn't pretty.

As for efforts to speak the language, yeah, that helps, that is why I have read many English speaking literature classics, read The independent every day, have joined book clubs (in English) and attend theater in English (I love Shakespeare, something you can't say about all Brits), but again thanks for the tip....

I never presumed to know you, I just responded to your negative comments about us Brits - THIS Brit is far from unwelcoming of foreigners to my country and I will defend my country and myself if I feel a foreigner is wrong in their assumptions.

Immigrants will always congregate together, it gives them a feeling of safety in a foreign land - don't blame the British for that. I made a conscious effort to learn Spanish so I could make my life easier in another country, you will find many Brits will try to integrate into their host countries.

I worked with Indians and Pakistani's in the UAE, I know the score reference the long hours and crap conditions they live in, I never got involved with the Jemeriah Janes or Mirdiff Mollies.

I studied the works of Shakespear, many Brits of my generation and before us studied his works - don't group all Brits as uncultured idiots.

You say you spent 10 yrs in my country and feel the Brits didn't meet your expectations and make you feel welcome; I think you have misunderstood us. Having been an expat, I KNOW you have to make the effort to integrate, but from your own words, it seems you've grouped ALL Brits to be the same which you are, of course, incorrect. Thanks for your sarcasm, however, lowest form of wit, I believe.

[CarCar]

If 'fit in' means comfortable and accepted by the locals (?) then - yes, absolutely.

It wasn't an instant thing, I would say it took about one year to feel completely comfortable and now after two years my youngest son complains that I take too long when I collect him from school. The reason is that from I enter the school ground I stop about 5-6 times to talk to various people, thus it takes me 10 - 15 min to get to the door to collect him.

I feel that the British are generally reserved in the beginning but once they start talking they don't stop. We have loved our time here in the UK and were it not for the weather - I would happily continue to live here.