Returning to Scotland after 7 years in Ontario, Canada

[kingkenny]

Hi

Contemplating returning to Scotland after living in London, Ontario for 7 years.
After 7 years have decided that the pull of family & grand parents is to much.

When we left Glasgow we only looked at the bad things at home and the good things of Canada, now we are looking at the good things of Scotland that were always there.

Its been a very emotional time deciding whether to go back home or stay.
Our kids are young enough to re adjust.

I am just looking for reassurance that our decision is right and Scotland ( Glasgow & suburbs ) is the right choice for moving back.

Although our home and life in Canada has been good I have finally gave in to the fact that I miss my family, friends and the grandparents should see our kids while they are still alive.

Any thoughts or advice or even anybody who has returned home from living abroad.

Thank you

[InspectorClusoe]

I think you are letting nostalgia cloud your judgement. In anycase it should be a democratic decision if you go back and you should think more about how settled the children are after all they had no choice in going to canada did they?

[kingkenny]

Originally Posted by InspectorClusoe

I think you are letting nostalgia cloud your judgement. In anycase it should be a democratic decision if you go back and you should think more about how settled the children are after all they had no choice in going to canada did they?

Hi thank you for your response.
There are many factors involved in the decision.
My Children are 4 & 2, young enough to adjust if we move.
Canada has been good to us and I am not trying to now find fault in it after 7 years.

The main factor for us is, we have no support system.
Our parents are of retirement age and I think deserve to have a relationship with the grand kids, they were born in Canada.
We have been lucky and had many visits but these visits will become less as their income shrinks with retirement and perhaps health issues.

With less vacation time from work and cost of flying everyone back its likely we will see less of our parents.

It is a very difficult decision to make many pros & cons both sides.

the expat forum is good to voice opinions and concerns.

I do feel I could settle back in Scotland but I want to conclude we are doing the right move for the right reasons.

[InspectorClusoe]

Well since no one else has responded , I am just giving my opinion and of course it's logical that people might want to return home. But I don't think your reasons, the reasons that you give justify your decision. Sounds like home sickness to me,(again nothing wrong with that, there are periods when people realise their lives have changed. My point is that at some point you have to live for your new family and not the old, I don't understand that you say you have no support system. What do you expect when you emmigrate thousands of miles? I'm not having a go I just think your reasons are not justifying your decision. If you say canada is nice that is about it but I feel we can't do any more and it would be nice to go back to scotland that makes perfect sense. But no supports structure? For scotland or glasgow I can't help never been there but I watched rab c nesbit a lot) Good luck,!

[kingkenny]

Originally Posted by InspectorClusoe

Well since no one else has responded , I am just giving my opinion and of course it's logical that people might want to return home. But I don't think your reasons, the reasons that you give justify your decision. Sounds like home sickness to me,(again nothing wrong with that, there are periods when people realise their lives have changed. My point is that at some point you have to live for your new family and not the old, I don't understand that you say you have no support system. What do you expect when you emmigrate thousands of miles? I'm not having a go I just think your reasons are not justifying your decision. If you say canada is nice that is about it but I feel we can't do any more and it would be nice to go back to scotland that makes perfect sense. But no supports structure? For scotland or glasgow I can't help never been there but I watched rab c nesbit a lot) Good luck,!

Hi

by no support I mean of not having immediate family around to help in helping looking after the kids, if we had more family around us then we obviously would have more support maybe the option of my wife getting back into the workplace.

We have been discussing the pro's & cons all day and its evident that sometimes the pull of family is very strong and sometimes I think its not about living for the old family but the facts are my old family are still my present family and its hard to except that they won't see much of the kids.

But some points are valid, maybe expect for Rab C Nesbit but none the less funny.

I am aware of home sickness but this runs deeper and a lot of the things we talk about are logical, some older posts on the subject of expats returning home suggest that some people struggle to readjust or they are happy because they could not settle but I think family, work, circumstances are all valid reasons for looking back to our homeland.

[Bevdeforges]

One big issue in the decision to "return home" after living abroad is that you aren't really returning to the place you used to know. Things can change in seven years (or even in just a couple of years) and it might be better to approach this as a move to a new "foreign" country.

Besides the desire to see more of your parents, you need to consider your job opportunities, child care alternatives, school preferences, etc. etc. as if this were a brand new move. There is no "right" or "wrong" decision - whatever you decide to do, you then do what you have to do to adjust your circumstances to your decision.

If you decide to stay, maybe you don't make whole family trips back to Scotland, but have a couple of family members make the trip each year (possibly for a longer period of time) or make other adjustments, depending on your parents' needs. If you decide to go back, maybe you make plans to spend holidays in Canada, or look into the possibility of the kids attending university there (if they wish to do so).

Only you can decide what factors are important for you, and then you have to adapt your lifestyle to take care of what's most important.
Cheers,
Bev

[Hepa]

Many years ago I roamed the world, but eventually the good life ended. I returned to live in the U.K. Life was no longer the same and the U.K. had changed, my friends had started their own families, relatives had drifted away. I hated the life and longed for foreign shores.

Some 46 years later, I now live on the island of El Hierro, I am content here. I do not want to return to the U.K.

Had I had the opportunity to raise my children in Canada, I would have seized it without question, for I believe that you are in a far better environment than in the U.K. and that the future of your young ones will be better there with more opportunities.

Think long and hard.

Whatever you decide I wish you well,

Hepa

[kingkenny]

Hi Thank you for all your comments thus far.

I have been reading expat blogs from various sites and the outlook is very negative in regards to returning home.

Given the fact I am off work after a hard year, its Christmas and arguably this is the worst time of year for feeling homesick.

My wife thankfully has tried to slow down the thought process and consider everything and the impact it could have on the kids future.

I have to admit the UK is not the standard of living we have here.

Perhaps a visit back would help but with the lack of vacation time its very hard.

only 10 days a year plus 9 stats is the norm for here.

Anyways we are still mulling over it and its very hard to decide 100 % one way or the other.

[Bevdeforges]

Sounds like a good plan to slow down the decision process. You may also want to look into some of the "technical solutions" - things like regular phone (or Skype) calls with your parents, maybe get a Skype number back in the UK so your parents and friends can call you without the long-distance fees.

It's not the same as visiting in person, but it's possible to make use of some of this whizz-bang technology to have somewhat closer contact (even if you wind up having to buy your folks a computer or netbook and make a trip over to show them how to use it).
Cheers,
Bev

[Punktlich2]

Originally Posted by kingkenny

Hi thank you for your response.
There are many factors involved in the decision.
My Children are 4 & 2, young enough to adjust if we move.
Canada has been good to us and I am not trying to now find fault in it after 7 years.

The main factor for us is, we have no support system.
Our parents are of retirement age and I think deserve to have a relationship with the grand kids, they were born in Canada.
We have been lucky and had many visits but these visits will become less as their income shrinks with retirement and perhaps health issues.

With less vacation time from work and cost of flying everyone back its likely we will see less of our parents.

It is a very difficult decision to make many pros & cons both sides.

the expat forum is good to voice opinions and concerns.

I do feel I could settle back in Scotland but I want to conclude we are doing the right move for the right reasons.

A small point now, but it might be important later: there is no totalisation agreement for Canada Pension Plan/National Insurance between the UK and Canada (there is a double-coverage agreement that prevents double charging). I understand there is no minimum number of years of coverage needed to collect a Canada pension but you should check. Also, if you have acquired property there may be capital gains taxation by Canada on "deemed sale" at expatriation, and further taxation by the UK at up to 28% when you sell, if in a different tax year, subject to certain protections under the tax treaty. Get specialist advice.

For the rest: it is usually best, if you can, to "try before you buy": to wait until after a trial period before cutting all ties and moving your stuff. I've seen people be sorry they made the move, but unable to afford undoing it.