About Fitting In

[tonytan]

Hi there!

I'll be moving to England from Singapore in about 9 months time to pursue my tertiary education for a good 4 years (which university still remains to be seen, though I've got a feeling I'll end up studying in either London or Coventry).

Given the extraordinary length of time between now and then, instead of wasting it, I thought I'd read up around the internet on what to expect when I arrive in Britain in order to lessen the impact of a "culture shock". The information that I've managed to gather so far about the cost of living, transportation etc. has been very detailed, but an area which I've found lacking or my questions unanswered was the part on British Culture and its people. Now obviously, there's a difference between reading a rosy picture about Britain from a site promoting it and reading about it from a person's perspective at the ground level.

My main question is that I'm very much concerned about being able to fit in and assimilated into the British culture and way of life. Is there any tip or advice, besides living there, to prepare or ease my transition into the British community like eg. watching the BBC channel or going for a course to work on my accent (which after 6 years in Singapore is still 60% American?) that has been helpful to you when you first started out living in England? What are British people like and what should if I want to build a network of friends there?

I'm appreciative of any advice or help that you can offer me.

So I'm all ears!

[jdripper]

I've only been to Singapore once, but I don't think you'll experience a massive culture shock.
As a student you'll have many opportunities to meet locals (students) and learn about the culture from them.

If you really really want to be more prepared for any culture differences, check out this book :
Watching the English: The Hidden Rules of English Behaviour
by Kate Fox

[jojo]

Originally Posted by tonytan

Hi there!

I'll be moving to England from Singapore in about 9 months time to pursue my tertiary education for a good 4 years (which university still remains to be seen, though I've got a feeling I'll end up studying in either London or Coventry).

Given the extraordinary length of time between now and then, instead of wasting it, I thought I'd read up around the internet on what to expect when I arrive in Britain in order to lessen the impact of a "culture shock". The information that I've managed to gather so far about the cost of living, transportation etc. has been very detailed, but an area which I've found lacking or my questions unanswered was the part on British Culture and its people. Now obviously, there's a difference between reading a rosy picture about Britain from a site promoting it and reading about it from a person's perspective at the ground level.

My main question is that I'm very much concerned about being able to fit in and assimilated into the British culture and way of life. Is there any tip or advice, besides living there, to prepare or ease my transition into the British community like eg. watching the BBC channel or going for a course to work on my accent (which after 6 years in Singapore is still 60% American?) that has been helpful to you when you first started out living in England? What are British people like and what should if I want to build a network of friends there?

I'm appreciative of any advice or help that you can offer me.

So I'm all ears!

There are various types of people and cultures in England, young, old, rich poor, happy, sad, peaceful, aggressive..... I'm sure thats the case in most countries!! The only way to "integrate" is to be yourself, do the things you enjoy and above all be friendly and open to those around you. You'll hopefully find that it wont be about culture or your accent, but about finding people/friends who enjoy the same things you do!

Jo xxx

[Mix]

As jojo says, there are many types of people in England, from different regional and cultural backgrounds and of different ages. Your experiences are likely to vary as much by the group of individuals you happen to meet as anything else. Particularly as a student, you will be a member of a very diverse population - UK universities tend to have a lot of international students. Because university students are usually full-time, in the big university towns some people would say that they have their own culture separate from the "working population". The most apparent single determinant of "culture" you come across may be the subject you are studying (e.g. arts vs. sciences).

To build a network of friends I think the advice is always the same when entering a new university - try to be open-minded to both new people and experiences. Many other people (both local and international students) will also be feeling like strangers and unsure how to act to "fit in", so any friendly conversation will be welcomed. Even if you do not remain close friends with all those people during your time at the university, you will always feel more comfortable and accepted if you recognise a few people by sight as you walk around the campus. Although you may be worried about balancing academic and social activities, there is almost always room within the schedule of the first few weeks to attend the various "fresher" events, invest time in meeting people and building your social network.

Good luck!

[tonytan]

Hey there Mix, jojo and jdripper

Thanks a lot for the advice you've provided! Would have thanked you earlier, but I've been busy lately.

Okay so I guess the good news is I don't have to adopt a british accent just to be understood, but what about vice versa?

I'm particularly worried that I won't be able to comprehend what they're saying with their accent and use of slang words eg. the cockney rhyming slang.

How did you cope with that when you first got to Britain?

[nat21]

Originally Posted by tonytan

My main question is that I'm very much concerned about being able to fit in and assimilated into the British culture and way of life. Is there any tip or advice, besides living there, to prepare or ease my transition into the British community like eg. watching the BBC channel or going for a course to work on my accent (which after 6 years in Singapore is still 60% American?) that has been helpful to you when you first started out living in England? What are British people like and what should if I want to build a network of friends there?

I'm appreciative of any advice or help that you can offer me.

So I'm all ears!

I was in your position 5 years ago. I moved from the US to study in London. Once I was accepted into uni and paid, my school sent a package with all the information I would need on moving to the UK (just looked for the book, but misplaced it) not sure if most universities do this though.

I don't think that the cultural shock would be that strong for you, don't get me wrong it will be but have noticed that if the culture is very close to your own, then the slightest different is going to throw you off. I experienced this in Central London on Baker Street and started to cry. I was used to people walking on a certain side of the sidewalk and on the staircase in the subway and it wasn't the case there, I felt like I was in a stampede.

I would recommend that you put yourself out there. Join groups in the school, that way you get to meet different people and it would be a good way to start your networking. Go to events that they school provides. Or you can join a meet-up groups, just good meet-up groups and find one that interest you, sign up and go to meetings. Thats also a great way to meet people.

The British people are just like people in any other country, you will find some people who are nice and some who are not (the librarian told me that I was a stupid American and then basically asked me to agree because I stated my DOB as month first and not date first), it depends on the person.

[tonytan]

Originally Posted by nat21

I don't think that the cultural shock would be that strong for you, don't get me wrong it will be but have noticed that if the culture is very close to your own, then the slightest different is going to throw you off. I experienced this in Central London on Baker Street and started to cry. I was used to people walking on a certain side of the sidewalk and on the staircase in the subway and it wasn't the case there, I felt like I was in a stampede.

I would recommend that you put yourself out there. Join groups in the school, that way you get to meet different people and it would be a good way to start your networking. Go to events that they school provides. Or you can join a meet-up groups, just good meet-up groups and find one that interest you, sign up and go to meetings. Thats also a great way to meet people.

The British people are just like people in any other country, you will find some people who are nice and some who are not (the librarian told me that I was a stupid American and then basically asked me to agree because I stated my DOB as month first and not date first), it depends on the person.

I'm sorry to hear that you had such a rough time there Nat and thank you for sharing your experience with me. That librarian ought to be shot with no questions asked.


I guess one thing I'd have to adapt to from now on is being told right in the face that I'm not liked or the uncomfortable truth. Dare I say I can expect alot less sugar coated words from people who pretend to be your friends? That I'll always know who my real friends are?

[nat21]

Originally Posted by tonytan

I'm sorry to hear that you had such a rough time there Nat and thank you for sharing your experience with me. That librarian ought to be shot with no questions asked.


I guess one thing I'd have to adapt to from now on is being told right in the face that I'm not liked or the uncomfortable truth. Dare I say I can expect alot less sugar coated words from people who pretend to be your friends? That I'll always know who my real friends are?

It was a blast and wouldn't change a thing. I have no regrets. In the beginning it was hard, but once you adjust you will enjoy it. Like I said, you will meet nice people and people who are not so nice they are everywhere it doesn't matter where you go. I guess it the British humor and at first you might be a bit put off but you will get used to it. My best friend is British and she has that dry sarcastic humor (and sometimes people don't know when she's insulting them), but I find it amusing and we just banter back and forth (was told our banter is like a tennis match). I would just recommend that you not think too much about how your going to fit and instead just have fun and enjoy the experience of living in the UK, learning about a new culture and meeting new people.

[jlms]

Originally Posted by tonytan

Hey there Mix, jojo and jdripper

Thanks a lot for the advice you've provided! Would have thanked you earlier, but I've been busy lately.

Okay so I guess the good news is I don't have to adopt a british accent just to be understood, but what about vice versa?

I'm particularly worried that I won't be able to comprehend what they're saying with their accent and use of slang words eg. the cockney rhyming slang.

How did you cope with that when you first got to Britain?

Here I really recommend listening to UK Radio.

But not the BBC World Service, BBC Radio 3 or BBC Radio 4, that are wonderful to listen to, but that have a notion of which accent should be used that I would call peculiar :-)

Try BBC Radio 5 live (sports, news and talk shows, where you really hear all the accents of the UK), LBC (lots of right wing rabble rousers, but with typical working class accents) and some of the presenters in BBC Radio 1 and 2.

Don't forget that the BBC has lots of local Radio stations, better resource will be difficult to find.

But if you come to London don't worry, half of it are foreigners like you any way :-)

[anticuti]

I'm Chinese Australian, lived in Sydney for 15 yrs and moved to UK just 12 days ago on the working holiday visa.
There were plenty of UK people in Australia, so there's no problem for me to understand them (although still struggle a bit with Scottish and Irish accents, but who doesn't? hehe), and they understand what I'm saying, I guess i don't have any accent.

Apart from adjusting to the time difference and temp (more so for Singaporeans!!!), I found it difficult to get used to their measurement system, you know, they don't talk about metres and km, they use miles, foot, yard etc. So length and weight measurements you might want to check it out first and memorise a bit.
And their coins are kinda hard to recognise!
Good luck!