Wedding planning...

[elizaswims]

Hi expats!

I was hoping to get some inspiration for my wedding planning. I'll give you the basics of what we've decided on, then just looking for any stories, etc that some of you have from being where I am now

I am American and my fiancé is English. We are engaged (woo hoo!), still living apart (tear), and are planning a wedding in the USA for next summer. His parents won't be able to attend as they are older and not very well. We are expecting the rest of his immediate family and a few friends to attend, in total about 15-20 guests flying over from England. I am from a very large family and will have significantly more guests from my side. About 100 total with 40 or so children. I wanted some opinions on the best ways to make his guests feel comfortable, welcome, included, not overwhelmed, etc. I also wondered about others' experiences with receptions in the other country, e.g. before or after the wedding, what sort of event to have, etc.

Another area my fiancé and I have been struggling with is what to do about gifts. I will (hopefully) be traveling back to England with him and we don't want a traditional registry. What have some of you all done?

Basically, if any of you would like to share...what was your wedding like? What did you like and dislike? What would you do differently if you could do it over?

Hope it is ok to use this forum in this way. No regular wedding forums apply to our situation and I know a lot of you can relate

Thanks all!

Liza

[WestCoastCanadianGirl]

I am having a small wedding... 50 people including Ed and myself at a sit down dinner reception... in Central London. We have more people invited for cocktails after dinner.

As I am still in Vancouver until Columbus Day (it's the same weekend as Canadian Thanksgiving... I wanted one final holiday with my extended family before I left Canada), we haven't done a registry as of yet. My family will likely give money (Asian tradition), but for the sake of those in the UK who might wish to send a gift, we have an appointment with John Lewis to do a list on the afternoon after we arrive back in London.

Section 7.1 of this document explains how you and I will be able to bring in wedding gifts (and bridal shower gifts... my auntie is hosting a shower for me in 2 weeks) into the UK duty free. It looks like it's just a bunch of paperwork we have to make sure we fill in.

I have been advised that my future MiL is hosting a Rehersal Luncheon for the bridal party and all of my relatives who will be coming over for the wedding... she wants a chance to meet everyone before the big day. It's being held after the rehersal at a location that is not currently known to me or my family (Ed knows but I've asked him not to tell me so I can be surprised).

I'm hoping to have all of the last minute details done before my family arrives so that I'll be free to show them around when they arrive. Due to work considerations on their part, I doubt they'll be here for more than a week or so.

[ridiculous]

We're doing our wedding in the UK and having several Canadian guests come over, so not exactly the same situation, but similar in terms of the guests from overseas!

We did a small legal ceremony last month with just very close family, so we're actually already married, but we did this because we want to throw a non-traditional wedding and didn't want to be bothered about the legal stuff on the day. My mother and father are leading the ceremony for us - they're both ministers but only my father is allowed to do marriages, and that's in Canada - not sure if he can do them in the UK ... so we did the legal wedding in advance! My brother and his wife actually did the same thing just for the added flexibility.

So the plan is to rent a big house for a week in a nice area (we're looking at the lake district), so we can have an outdoor wedding (supplying white umbrellas in case of rain) and our guests from overseas will also be able to stay the night at the house. This saves them driving around in the dark on unfamiliar roads after the celebrations end, but we also thought they'd appreciate being grouped together so that people could carpool and not feel completely isolated. They'd also be in a very pretty part of the country - which they'll love (they're all hiker types).

But if you wanted to go more traditional, you could always just get group pricing at a hotel or something. In terms of having them feel included though maybe you could host some get togethers before/after the wedding, or even organized day trips or something. If they get to know a few of the relatives on the US side before the wedding, they might mingle a little better on the big day.

As for the gifts, if you didn't want to go through the hassle of bringing gifts back to the UK, maybe just ask for gift certificates or monetary contributions? I know some people would find that tacky though - so it depends on how traditional you want to be.

I hope that wasn't too rambling and confusing. I'm a bit all over the place right now trying to sort out our visa docs.

[elizaswims]

Thanks WestCoastCanadianGirl and ridiculous for sharing your plans with me (and the link to the customs rules). I hope both your "official" weddings go smoothly and congrats on being almost there!

[CambriaOgden]

Hello I got married in England in May My husband and I decided to have an Amazon wedding registry, that way people from the US could buy us gifts online and have them sent to the UK. My wedding was very small 30 ceremony 50 reception. I would of had my ceremony earlier(My ceremony was at 2pm) so I could of spent more time with my guests. When I was planning my wedding I found the tribe section of the offbeat bride site (tribe.offbeatbride.com) SUPER helpful! The community is very active and there are many creative minds there if you ever need some ideas!

[elizaswims]

Thanks for the tips. Congrats on the wedding! Will check out that website

Liza