Teenager - emotional roller caoster

[dnex721]

Hi

anyone else taking a teenager with them - my daughter [17] is coming one day cryingthe next .. i've tried the 'if you don't like i you can come back' ' we'll take your best friend pay her flights for hthree months holiday - so helps settle you in'
my son and his partner are coming after we are settled - so thats not an issue

i am lost for ideas - want her to be happy but can't bare to leave her behind without her giving it a try

anyone gone through this - what have you done ,, what would you suggest?

Help apprecaited

Thanks

Bev

[Halo]

A colleagues kids did not talk to him for 2 years.... But now....its all good

Grin and bear it - they are real people with real feelings... not dissimilar to your own. Truth is the best option.

[northern mover]

Well said Halo...
my 18 year old son is pretty much the yes then no then dunno; i went through the ups and downs, crying, swearing, slamming doors, emotional blackmail thing; now, well, i have stopped all that

He has taken a week out and hopefully, on weds, we will get a definite answer. We said we will support his decision, whichever way, but the only financial help after we've gone will be a plane ticket to Adelaide!!!! Sometimes a mum has to be cruel to be kind!

Don't over sell Oz, it ain't utopia, i believe, but once the kids realise what a chance they are being given........
Good Luck, pet

Jane

[Maria6]

Absolutely agree with the above. My children are a lot younger but I remember when I was 17 - I thought I knew everything! Outline the pros and cons as you have done for yourself at every waking moment and you can then feel, as much as any parent can ever feel, that you have done your best!

Good luck and let us know hoe you get on.

Maria

[dnex721]

Thanks all - i will keep you posted
Bev

[Tiffani]

I agree with Jane. Just tell her that she can either stay or go, and to make the decision herself if she's so grown up!

If my parents had told me "we're moving to Australia" when I was a teenager, I might've had the chance to complain a bit but at a certain point they would've just told me that I was going and that was that and to like it or lump it!

[spadgersdad]

Hi dnex721,
Know the feeling well, we moved here two and half years ago, my daughter then 20 decided last minute she wasnt coming, came with a son 18 and daughter 9, it was a very difficult time and still is sometimes. My son was very social in thE UK had lots of friends and enjoyed his night life. We moved here and he absolutely hated it we had so many ups and downs and at first mostly downs, he just didnt know where he wanted to be. It was also difficult to leave a daughter (the hardest thing ever a mother will ever do). My son has steadily settled and loves going down to the Gold Coast at weekends and going into the city with friends. He is still unsure of where his heart lies but he loves the life here and knows when he goes back to the UK for a holiday it may not be what he remembered.
My advice to you would be to bring your daughter, work through the difficult times together, support her no matter how hard it may get (as leaving her will be harder than you can ever imagine) eventually she will settle, probably quicker than you think , you can always go back for a holiday in time. Good luck hope all works out for you
Sharon

[Em2008]

Hi dnex721,
I saw this post and had to reply... as i'm 20 years old and currently my parents are in the process of moving out to Australia and i thought my opinion might help you understand/help your daughter!
I'm currently really struggling ... part of me (the most part) really wants to move to Australia because its an amazing place and i absolutely loved it when i went travelling however there is a small part of me that is thinking i'm leaving so much behind here!
I really hate my working life in the UK but i think thats because i'm not doing the job i want to be doing... however i have such amazing friends and family!! The biggest thing that is making me worry is my age and making new friends... mum and dad have said i can go to Uni out there to do the course i wanted to do in the UK... which should help me make friends! However if the uni thing doesnt go to plan ill have to work and i may not make friends my own age!! I'm an incredibly shy person so making new friends is very very difficult for me!!
Also for me... i'm close to my family however i love my indepedence and i dont think ill be able to be as independent in australia because i wont have my close knit friends around me!
I know this is a bit long winded but i'm hoping its helping!!
If your daughter wants to register on this site... maybe me and her could have a chat about what we are both concerned about!! Might help things a bit!!
Emily!

[anj1976]

Hi Emily,
Me and my husband, he is 28 and I am 31, are moving to OZ in a year's time. We are not moving there for a better weather but for his career, being in IT, there isnt much for him in India. I have my own setup here, I am a self-employed designer. I run an advertising agency, I make good money, but when I saw all the options for him, I did not take time to decide, I knew I have to do it for him, I am sacrificing it all for him. and I guess if fate is with me, I will be able to set-up my own design house there as well.
We just got married, about 7 months back, and for us life is still new as a couple, I have hoards of friends and my OH has even more, since its just the two of us, our weekends are spent with either family or friends, I know we will miss all that when we go to OZ, but trust me, friends dont stay with you forever. Looking back in life, I had a different set of friends while in school, different ones in college and now different ones that I have made post graduation. They keep coming and going, as time passes and as life changes, so do friends. They always remember us, we meet say once a year and there are those that I have not seen since college or since school, we do chat over the net once in a while or maybe over the phone.
I dont know why teenagers give so much of weight to friends over family, maybe I did the same when I was younger (not that I am old now.. haha.. I feel so young still ) People should remember, when we are crying or when we are happy, the true support one gets is from the family, friends might listen to you, give an opinion or two but they have their lives to worry about while our life is a part of our families'.
Go there without thinking much, I too am a shy person, when I came in this forum, I would just read and not comment, and today I have some 300+ posts to my credit. I am opening up and talking to people, and trust me, when you know its either now or never, you have to make friends now or you will hv to spend the evening alone without being on the fone gossiping about that guy you saw or the dress you so much want..you will work towards making friends and meeting new people.
Its all about giving time to yourself, its about setting priorities.
wish you luck babe

[spadgersdad]

Hi Emily,
Welcome to the forum, just wanted to say how brave you are, and how mature. I know how you must be feeling as my son is 20 and been here nearly three years, he still feels a little unsure of where his heart is. He will be returning to the UK next year for a holiday as he said to "put things to closure". It is a very difficult decision for you to make, but you have to want to make the move or you will never settle here. If you do decide to make the move just contact us and I will put you in touch with my son, always good to talk to someone who knows how you are feeling. Good luck with your decision Emily, things will turn out right in the end. Take care