The dangerous stuff

[newtoOZ]

Which of Australia's multitude of dangerous animals do you fear the most? I know I should probably be more afraid of crocodiles, but I absolutely hate snakes, even the non-poisonous ones. What about you?

[ricardo blue]

Originally Posted by newtoOZ

Which of Australia's multitude of dangerous animals do you fear the most? I know I should probably be more afraid of crocodiles, but I absolutely hate snakes, even the non-poisonous ones. What about you?

I know where you're coming from....crocs, snakes,...awful things!!!
The real dangerous animals that no one seems to worry about are surprisingly Koala Bears!!
Now I know what you're thinking "Koalas are not dangerous and in fact cute and friendly" So let me tell you this....
My Uncle and his family went over to Oz to see his brother who had emigrated some years ago. Whilst there they rented a car and set about seeing some of the sites and landmarks. Unfortunately their vehicle suffered mechanical problems and they were forced to hike to the nearest town which was some distance away. By this time the sun was going down but with no other alternatives and the thought of spending a night in the car they continued onwards. Now then..... They came across a eucalyptus plantation that had a narrow man made path running through it. They took a collective decision to stray from the road and head down the path in the hope it would lead to a house or farm where they could call a garage from. Apparently the first signs that something was seriously wrong was when the path disappeared beneath their feet and the howling started. All of a sudden they were set upon by about 40 Koala Bears who seemed highly intoxicated and ferociously aggressive. My Uncle was beaten to within an inch of his life whilst his wife was taken by the bears into the woods and sexually abused. For some reason which is yet to be explained, the eldest child was not touched However... The youngest was taken and forced to live with the bears as a bear.
The authorities refused to believe my uncle and his wife's story and even accused them of foul play! It was only when a young girl was spotted by some adventurist's sitting high in the trees chewing leaves did they take action. My uncle's daughter was later tracked down by the authorities and returned to her family, although it did take a further 2 months to do so.
All in all it was a terrible ordeal and one that will live with them for the rest of their lives!!!!!

[Aussiejock]

Originally Posted by ricardo blue

I know where you're coming from....crocs, snakes,...awful things!!!
The real dangerous animals that no one seems to worry about are surprisingly Koala Bears!!
Now I know what you're thinking "Koalas are not dangerous and in fact cute and friendly" So let me tell you this....
My Uncle and his family went over to Oz to see his brother who had emigrated some years ago. Whilst there they rented a car and set about seeing some of the sites and landmarks. Unfortunately their vehicle suffered mechanical problems and they were forced to hike to the nearest town which was some distance away. By this time the sun was going down but with no other alternatives and the thought of spending a night in the car they continued onwards. Now then..... They came across a eucalyptus plantation that had a narrow man made path running through it. They took a collective decision to stray from the road and head down the path in the hope it would lead to a house or farm where they could call a garage from. Apparently the first signs that something was seriously wrong was when the path disappeared beneath their feet and the howling started. All of a sudden they were set upon by about 40 Koala Bears who seemed highly intoxicated and ferociously aggressive. My Uncle was beaten to within an inch of his life whilst his wife was taken by the bears into the woods and sexually abused. For some reason which is yet to be explained, the eldest child was not touched However... The youngest was taken and forced to live with the bears as a bear.
The authorities refused to believe my uncle and his wife's story and even accused them of foul play! It was only when a young girl was spotted by some adventurist's sitting high in the trees chewing leaves did they take action. My uncle's daughter was later tracked down by the authorities and returned to her family, although it did take a further 2 months to do so.
All in all it was a terrible ordeal and one that will live with them for the rest of their lives!!!!!

Who do you think will believe this? What a load of cr*p! However you do have a vivid imagination.

[ricardo blue]

Originally Posted by Aussiejock

Who do you think will believe this? What a load of cr*p! However you do have a vivid imagination.

You guys just dont want to admit the truth about the furry little Ba~~ards!

[newtoOZ]

What can you expect from an animal that lives on psychotropic leaves and is permanently stoned? They eat, sleep, and have sex. That pretty much covers their lives.

[newtoOZ]

Aussijock - Do you have a sense of humour at all? (Omigod, I'm adjusting. I just spelled humor with a 'u' without even thinking about it.

[ricardo blue]

Originally Posted by newtoOZ

Aussijock - Do you have a sense of humour at all? (Omigod, I'm adjusting. I just spelled humor with a 'u' without even thinking about it.

Hey Jock,

These are dangerous times.... So I think a sense of humour will have to stay on the back burner for a bit.
I know you don't believe me... So I'm going to tell you a theory that's been doing the circuits. Now, conspiracy theories I can take or leave and most are completely whacky with a capital W..... but this one makes you think??????
Let me explain....... Do you remember that guy called Steve Erwin?
Fantastic bloke who had a heart of gold. A real jaw dropper it was when he was suddenly taken away from us in what can only be described as a freak accident I think he was even given a state funeral or something like that. But was it really an accident??? The chances of be being hit in exactly the right spot by a Ray AND being killed are apparently phenomenal.

Ask yourself these questions????

Did Steve Ervin love animals? Answer = Of course he did.

Did Steve Erwin love Koalas??? Answer = Especially.

Did You often see Steve Erwin in the trees with the Koalas? Answer = Always.

Did the Koalas love Steve Erwin in their trees all the time with a film crew below, being broadcast all over the world 7 days a week??? Answer = Did they bugger!!!!! They hated him for it. Coming in, sticking his nose in where it didn't belong, asking to many questions, picking them up all the while.......
He had to go....... and sharpish too!

The theory goes that Steve was actually killed by a Koala in a Ray suit. Apparently they are excellent swimmers.
Steve just got too close and the little evil f###ers took him out!

Believe me now??

[newtoOZ]

I was stung by a baby ray once. They are cute, too. But they scare easily. And they can hurt you.

No, I don't believe you. Koalas are way too stoned to get into a ray suit. None of them would be able to manage the zipper. (oh, I almost wrote 'zip') Stay American, stay American!)

[kendra]

Yeah, our oz animals have definite ocker tendencies, especially wombats , which apparently resemble footy players in their mating habits - dictionary definition - wombat, muscular animal, eats roots shoots & leaves. Yeah, yeah old joke!

[Hazel]

Excuse my ignorance, but what does "ocker" mean? Thanks.