hoping for some clear answers

[Pamm]

Hi,

I'm engaged to a man who lives in Kalgoorlie, but there are things with us that most people might look askance at. To start, I'm 17 years older than him (he's 31 and I'm 48), though we don't care about that. And we've not yet met in person though we've known each other five years online, with Yahoo, WoW, video and phone calls, there's no doubt from either of us. There's rarely been a night we're not together online since we realized how much we love each other.

What worries me is that I might have trouble getting a fiancee visa because of those things, and we really can't afford for me to go and meet him, then leave and come back, not to mention it would tear us up inside to finally be together and then be separated again.

I also have adult onset diabetes (controlled by meds and diet), and arthritis. I'm fighting now to bring that under control with weight loss and exercise supervised by my GP, but again, I fear what effect it will have on my visa.

Basically I just need some answers that will give me hope, even though I'm afraid they won't from all I've read

[Bevdeforges]

The requirement that the potential spouses must have met in person before you can apply for a fiancé visa is pretty common in most countries these days. And given some of the horror stories you hear about forced marriages, internet scams and all, I think you can understand why.

You also have to allow for the possibility you could get to Oz and find that something is wrong - he isn't who he says he is, he's broke, he's sick, he was actually hoping you'd bring him over to the US or he has a horrible mother who lives with him and will make your life a living hell.

One of you needs to make a trip to meet the other - for whatever length of time you can swing on a tourist visa (a month, maybe two). Think of it as a good faith gesture designed (if nothing else) to be able to show the immigration people that you have met face to face and eliminate that objection. Try living together for a while, with the host paying the living costs, even if it's only for a month or two. (Shows that you are capable of "supporting" each other in the financial sense and in the relationship sense.) Because it sounds like if you don't do this, you don't have a prayer of getting that visa.

And, while I know you don't want to hear this, there have been scams like this perpetuated over the Internet that have lasted five years and more. You have to be able to prove to the immigration people that this isn't one of them. (And frankly, you owe it to yourself to make sure it isn't before you do anything you can't recover from.)
Cheers,
Bev

[Pamm]

Bev, I'm well aware that a lot of people would think he's a scam, but he isn't. I'm not a trusting person, and we took a lot of time to get to this point in our relationship.

As for money, heck, he's the one who insists that he buy all the Sims 2 expansions for me *chuckle*

I am looking at prices and so on, to try to figure a way to swing at least a 3 month visit, and that will happen at the very least. I've also heard that while it's discouraged that you get married while on a tourist visa, that you can get a spouse visa after you do. We *are* going to do everything legally, even though that sounds very tempting.

Pamm

[Bevdeforges]

Originally Posted by Pamm

I've also heard that while it's discouraged that you get married while on a tourist visa, that you can get a spouse visa after you do. We *are* going to do everything legally, even though that sounds very tempting.

Pamm, not trying to discourage you from your plans at all. But I've been on the wrong end of a visa attempt that failed, precisely because the "validity" of the relationship was being questioned. All I'm saying is that, if you can do a few things to strengthen your case and avoid spending time as an "illegal alien" it's worth it.
Cheers,
Bev

[Pamm]

I know, Bev, don't worry! I'm well aware of the difficulties, just hoping for answers from those who've been in similar situations and hopefully managed to work through them.

I do know his family, by the way, and Mum just adores me, calling me her darling girl whenever she answers the phone *grins* And his older niece thinks I rock. Kids! I think it's cause she likes watching us play WoW and loves seeing my magic users *chuckle*

Anyways, I'm looking at some major expenses to start since I'm moving home to Maryland to spend time with my parents and sister and brother and their families first. Once I'm there I'll be able to save more hopefully. We've considered Jason coming to get me, but we just can't swing that.

Pamm

[Dolly]

Originally Posted by Pamm

Hi,

I'm engaged to a man who lives in Kalgoorlie, but there are things with us that most people might look askance at. To start, I'm 17 years older than him (he's 31 and I'm 48), though we don't care about that. And we've not yet met in person though we've known each other five years online, with Yahoo, WoW, video and phone calls, there's no doubt from either of us. There's rarely been a night we're not together online since we realized how much we love each other.

What worries me is that I might have trouble getting a fiancee visa because of those things, and we really can't afford for me to go and meet him, then leave and come back, not to mention it would tear us up inside to finally be together and then be separated again.

I also have adult onset diabetes (controlled by meds and diet), and arthritis. I'm fighting now to bring that under control with weight loss and exercise supervised by my GP, but again, I fear what effect it will have on my visa.

Basically I just need some answers that will give me hope, even though I'm afraid they won't from all I've read

Hi there,

I've found this website that maybe of some help.

Fiance/Fiancee Visa for Australia

This link is from the DIAC website and goes into detail with regard to providing evidence of the relationship Prospective Marriage Visa (Subclass 300)

I say this quite a bit, but I'd get advice from a migration agent. They would be able to give you answers and options.

Best of luck Pamm

Dolly

[kaz101]

Hi Pamm,

I just wanted to add that I always suggest that people visit Australia first just so that they know where they are moving to, and in your case I also agree with Bev that you could also meet your fiancee too. Australia is BIG and varied you want to make sure that you can live in that area. When we were looking my husband wanted to move to really small towns and there was no way I was moving there (a crossroads with a few houses! )

Here is the government link to Kalgoorlie City Of Kalgoorlie-Boulder

I agree with Dolly that consulting with an agent would be a good idea.

Regards,
Karen

[Pamm]

I know, I know... I'm truly a sensible person I've been online since Q-Link was around, been a chat host on umpteen services, and met a lot of my online family in those years. One place I lived was laughingly referred to as GEnie East by friends, because everyone would stop there on the way south or north. Honestly, it took me a long while to believe he was for real, and at the same time he was wary because of a broken relationship he'd gotten out of. We were friends first, and we're still best friends, which is the best way to be with the person you're in love with to my way of thinking.

I'm an impatient person, I admit that. Thankfully Jason has a lot more patience, enough for both of us, but we do want to be together for good soon as we can. I've read a lot about Kalgoorlie, and Perth (his older brother lives there), as well as about Australia in general. And seen videos also. I'm not going blindly into the small town thing. I've always lived nearer to major cities, grew up in an area close to Annapolis and DC, and am currently in Phoenix. It's going to be a change for me, but one I so look forward to!

I think I'm just so nervous about having our relationship go under a microscope, I don't do well under that kind of thing *sighs* I forgot to mention that while I'm not working now, I'm a qualified medical transcriptionist which may help land a job at some point, hopefully. I just need to relearn how to spell some words and prolly teach my word processor dictionary those words too *grin*

Ok, I am so rambling here, I've been up well over 12 hours and just finishing some dvd's I want to send back to Blockbuster, so this will be my last post for now.

Thank you everyone

[Pamm]

Just wanted to let y'all know that Jason and I talked over our options tonight, and have decided to go with the tourist visa so we can put together the relationship evidence necessary for the prospective spouse visa. Hopefully that part won't take long, because as I've said, I don't think we'll be able to stand being apart again!

Thanks to everyone, I'm sure I'll be posting with more questions as time goes on.

Pamm

[kaz101]

Thanks for the update Pamm and let us know how the trip goes.

Regards,
Karen