Guilty feeling as just announced move!!

[lawrence160]

Hi

Just wondered if anyone else felt like this!! we have just made the announcemnt to family we are moving to Melbourne and they have now started throwing questions at us to make us feel very gulity like we are doing something very wrong in wanting to better our lives for us and the children. The mother-in-law wanted to know what we would do at holidays (like Xmas) when all our new friends are spening it with family and we are left with just the four of us. Is it so wrong to want to do better?

[freppe]

No it's not wrong.

[matjones]

Originally Posted by lawrence160

Hi

Just wondered if anyone else felt like this!! we have just made the announcemnt to family we are moving to Melbourne and they have now started throwing questions at us to make us feel very gulity like we are doing something very wrong in wanting to better our lives for us and the children. The mother-in-law wanted to know what we would do at holidays (like Xmas) when all our new friends are spening it with family and we are left with just the four of us. Is it so wrong to want to do better?

Wanting a better life for your kids is certainly not wrong. Give them chance to come around to the idea. let them know that you've put a lot of thought into the decision and explain to them why you think it will be best to move. You can tell her that at Xmas, you are quite happy spending it with just the 4 of you, as you are a family unit after all, however extend an invitation for them to come and spend Xmas with you if they please.

Also don't forget, the magic of the internet, and something they call a 'telephone' works wonders for keeping in touch.

[kaz101]

Hi lawrence160,

Most of us have been through this and had that reaction from the family and friends.

As Matt mentioned let them know that you are not forgetting them or leaving them behind - you'll still be in touch. Several members have said that they spend more quality time talking to their family than they did before - I know that's true in my case! Also through the wonders of services like Skype you can see each other.

My parents are in their 70's and I'm an only child but I set them up with a PC and webcam and gave my Mum a crash course in how to use it. Now my Mum who said she would never use it regularly surfs the internet, tells me when there are some nice houses for sale in my area (we're property investors ) and send me IM messages almost daily.

You are not ding anything wrong. It may take some time for them to adjust after all you've been thinking about this for a while but it's new to them.

Give them some time, and let them know that you love them and are putting things in place so that you'll still be in touch.

Regards,
Karen

[ali dallow]

Originally Posted by lawrence160

Hi

Just wondered if anyone else felt like this!! we have just made the announcemnt to family we are moving to Melbourne and they have now started throwing questions at us to make us feel very gulity like we are doing something very wrong in wanting to better our lives for us and the children. The mother-in-law wanted to know what we would do at holidays (like Xmas) when all our new friends are spening it with family and we are left with just the four of us. Is it so wrong to want to do better?

You are def doing the right thing for your family. We moved here 2 years ago and although it is hard leaving family and friends behind we have never once regretted our decision in moving to Oz. We skype my parents every week and i speak to my mum every other day on the phone (in the uk i only spoke to her once a week!!) We have found that the friends we have made in Australia have become our family and these are the people we spend christmas with. Also don't forget christmas is only 1 day and you'll probably spend it on the beach anyway!!! Don't give up the opportunity to better your life, you only get one chance!!!! Good luck!!!

[Dolly]

Deciding to emigrate is probably one of the hardest and toughest choices we will make in our lives. Once done, we break that news to our loved ones. What we have to accept is that sometimes they won't be all that happy with our decision. As difficult as it was to make that choice to emigrate, it is just as difficult for family and friends to accept. We're OK, we're doing what we want......but our F&F just have to go along with it. It's incredibly difficult for them...especially if you are very close to a sister, your mother etc.

That said, we have to be selfish in life and do what 'we' think is best for ourselves and our family. It's tough on those that we leave behind but once you've made the move over, you just have to make sure you regularly keep in touch.

You will see your F&F again so it's not like you're dropping off the face of the planet never to be seen again. You will go back home for visits, you'll have F&F visit you.

It's all about compromise and acceptance.

Good luck
Dolly

[Lizstevens]

Originally Posted by lawrence160

Hi

Just wondered if anyone else felt like this!! we have just made the announcemnt to family we are moving to Melbourne and they have now started throwing questions at us to make us feel very gulity like we are doing something very wrong in wanting to better our lives for us and the children. The mother-in-law wanted to know what we would do at holidays (like Xmas) when all our new friends are spening it with family and we are left with just the four of us. Is it so wrong to want to do better?

Definitey not wrong! The comments made reflect the feelings of your family. They don't want you to go- understandable - and they have the right to express their feelings but it is your life and if it is right for you, then you must do it. We miss our family but we enjoy living here and ultimately, it's our choice. Good luck

[Tina Spicer]

HI, its really hard to tell everyone as you feel excited at the new adventure that awaits and they just feel like they are being left behind!! We have been here since 1st September and it does get lonely but calls home are so cheap and we speak to our friends and family about 2 or 3 times a week, and Skype is great, especially for he children. When are you arriving and where are you going to live?? and don't worry they can always visit!!!

Originally Posted by lawrence160

Just wondered if anyone else felt like this!! we have just made the announcemnt to family we are moving to Melbourne and they have now started throwing questions at us to make us feel very gulity like we are doing something very wrong in wanting to better our lives for us and the children. The mother-in-law wanted to know what we would do at holidays (like Xmas) when all our new friends are spening it with family and we are left with just the four of us. Is it so wrong to want to do better?

[anj1976]

thats their way of telling you how much they will miss you, they will do everything to stop you, from dont talk to us to we will never come there, dont even expect it but eventually things become fine. dont loose it, tell them you are doing whats best.
my inlaws say the same, you are doing good here, we have raised u here, why do u think this isnt the place for ur kids, everyone here with kids is mad? they are managing so well, yada yada but with time they have mellowed down and are accepting but they start the blame game often but its alright, they have to accept and will be fine in no time