Advice please - really worried about uprooting my daughter

[cas&stu]

Hello

I'm Casandra - currently living in the UK and getting ready for our big move to Australia - not too sure where abouts we're going to settle yet but we're thinking of the Gold Coast.

The one thing keeping me awake at night though is the worry of uprooting our daughter. She'll be turning 6 in November and has settled in really well to school here - I just feel so awful at the thought of uprooting her at this tender age. Shes got lots of friends here, loves her teachers and loves her house.

Please tell me why I'm doing this??!!! I know in my heart that its for the good of my family but at the moment my brains not believing it. I've tried to speak to my husband Stu about it but hes just not getting it. Hes not a worrier like me.

Its 4am and here I am online in search of reassurance!

Hoping someone can make me feel a little better.

Cas x

[tygwyn]

Hi Cas

Sorry its taken me a while to reply but I've been out on a bike ride with my daughter.

Trust me.......you're not on your own with this worry. I was absolutely awful - many, many sleepless nights I can tell you.

My daughter was also very settled in school (after a very unsettled time at nursery) and had lots of friends etc etc etc. Everyone kept telling me that she would be fine but in my head was just worry.

I'll tell you now though - she has done fantastically. When it came to saying goodbye to her friends at school........they cried......she didnt! her teachers......they cried.....she didnt! Her family.......they cried.......I cried........she didnt! Honestly shes been amazing.

She has settled so well in school over here its unreal. Shes got even more friends here than she had in the UK and she does so much more too. Swimming, gymnastics, horse riding......the list goes on.

If I ask her now where she would rather live then the answer is a resounding 'AUSTRALIA'!

If you've got any more concerns please feel free to bring them here and ask as many questions as you like. A lot of us have been there and done that and so know exactly what you're going through.

Our daughter was a year older than yours when we moved - she turned 6 in the November and we moved in the April.

Take care

Rach xxxx

[cas&stu]

Hi Rach

Thanks ever so much for taking the time to reply to me. This is the first forum I've used and I must say I'm impressed!

What I didnt mention before is that my daughter 'says' that shes really excited about the move - but shes started doing things like wetting the bed & sleep walking which leads me to believe that things arent as good as they seem? Am I just being over protective do you think? If she says shes happy should I just accept that and stop reading too much into things?

Cas xx

[tygwyn]

Hi again Cas

Hope you managed to get a bit of sleep between your first and last posts

Seriously now you sound EXACTLY like I was before the move. I am such a HUGE worrier and read into things far too deeply than is necessary.

Your daughter is only 5 years old - wetting the bed is very very natural! Absolutely no reason to look into that any further - and sleep walking?? Thats pretty much the same. My daughter started doing it not long before our big move too but it certainly wasnt because she was worried thats for sure. Excited maybe yes But both those behaviours are very very normal for a 5 year old child. If she says shes excited then believe her and get excited with her

Your daughter will be the strong one in all this believe me - its us grown ups than fall apart at the drop of a hat!!

[travisboy]

Yep I've gotta agree with tygwyn. The missus was pretty worried about our nipper before we moved but (like I told her!) she neednt have worried. No problems at all this end. Kids are much more resilient than us oldies

[Hazel]

I moved from South Africa and uprooted my 6 year old (she had just turned 6) and she was so, so happy in South Africa but if you can believe this she is even HAPPIER in Oz!!! I swear. At first she withdrew -displayed some shyness and was quieter than usual) but this lasted all of 3 weeks. Now, 4 months after leaving South Africa she is super confident and also screams Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi, Oi, Oi, Oi. Okay maybe she doesn't use those exact words but she may as well :-) I feel such warmth in my heart when I see how happy she is and how well she is doing in school too. Just by the way I've become really good friends with a woman from England who I met through my daughter...her little son is in my daughter's class and he is very happy too. They've been away from England for a year and a half...she has two older kids and they are doing just fine too. I can almost put my head on a block that your daughter will be verrrrry happy: she'll be sooo excited when she sees all the parks and the beaches. I chose the Gold Coast and I LOVE it. I feel very, very fortunate. Hope this helps. Oh and my little one also did a lot of sleep-talking before and after the move but she was just so excited. I wasn't worried about that. I was a bit anxious when she got a bit quiet but like I said, it didn't last long...I think she was just taking in and processing all the new surroundings. Good luck!!!

[attagirl]

There is always a worry when taking your children out of an environment they are used to, but keep in mind better now than 2 or 3 years from now. I think that she is still fairly new to school and will adjust very well. Have you asked her how she feels about the move and included here in discussion and so on? if not make her feel a part of what is going on and it will be so much easier for her.

[attagirl]

involving her in the process will help to make the transition a lot easier. asking her how she feels about the move and showing her pictures will help as well. I would much rather make the change now at 6 then in a few yeas when she is more adjusted where she is.

[tygwyn]

Originally Posted by attagirl

involving her in the process will help to make the transition a lot easier. asking her how she feels about the move and showing her pictures will help as well. I would much rather make the change now at 6 then in a few yeas when she is more adjusted where she is.

Thats a very good point attagirl and one I'd forgotten. Involve your daughter in the move as much as possible - we did. Show photos - even try and contact someone in Australia with a child the same age who has been through the same process - we did that too.

I'd be more than happy for you to PM me so that our girls can contact each other via email (under our supervision obviously).

Chat soon

Rach xxxx

[cas&stu]

Thanks ever so much for all your replies. Its now 2am and I cant sleep so I thought I'd log on to see if there were any more replies. It was a very nice shock to see how many had taken the time to reply to me.

After reading your replies I am feeling a lot better I must admit so thank you.

I will talk to her in the morning and try and find out exactly how shes feeling - show her pictures on the internet etc.

Rach - if you wouldnt mind please that would be brilliant - again, I'll chat to her in the morning and see if she wants to sit down with me and send a message to your daughter. That would be so helpful.

Thank you everyone - I'm away to get some sleep now.

Night night x

Cas