Is gardening regarded as an extreme sport?

[shimmy]

Hi All

Im a keen gardener and coming from the UK and living in NZ for the last 3 years or so the worst I have had to contend with have been the possums (usually making a racket in the cabbage tree at night - a powerful hose and flashlight usually put them off return visits) and whitetail spiders who have a nasty but not fatal bite but the flesh ulcerating after effects can be rather offputting.

If I wanted to have a garden in oz - including a veggie patch - what do I need to know about the wildlife so it doesnt become a 'take your life in your hands' activity? Im looking around coastal NSW north of Sydney if that helps.

thanks

[shimmy]

I'd hoped was all just a figment of ricardo's imagination, an urban myth etc but it appears the koala theory is true.

The furry little suckers have been quietly taking over suburbia and attacking any human foolish enough to do more than mow the grass (if there is any left....) Burkes Backyard has had a devastating effect on the population, they watch the show, get all excited about their wee plot and venture out, unarmed and unaware of what is lurking in their hedges and hiding under their decks, waiting to pounce. Slowly but surely they have wiped out anyone who has the slightest green tinge to their fingertips.

I blame it on GM gum leaves.........

There must be some hope left, please, please, if there is anyone left out there, some small community fighting back against the koala hoards and making things grow, contact me in confidence, I wont let them know where you are.

[scottishcelts]

Well blooming great, now i'm an even MORE paranoid horticulture student moving to australia next year lunatic!!!!

Am gonnae need more valium than i anticipated.................................aaaaar rrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh

[shimmy]

I'd love to say 'yup all porkies' BUT as no-one out there has provided any evidence to the contrary - the deathly silence seems to speak for itself!

Oh, last I heard the tree lurking furry mafia were controlling all substances used to provide relaxation so best you stock up before you go! Gone are the days when you could even grow your own in a quiet bit of bush, they'll be in there nicking your plants, and well I dont like to go into details as this is a family forum but have you seen 'Deliverance'? If you hear banjos start running.

[scottishcelts]

Right ok.....................................now i'm really needing to go to the toilet and not for a pee (i'm trying to be polite here), i'm not big on uk sized beasties (i can't even bring myself to type the words down) never mind aussie big mama fat hairy i'm gonna do you in superbugs!

And please tell me (in code if required) what Deliverance is, av no seen it, i'm curious now..................................aaaaaarrrrrrg ggghhhh!!!!!!!

[shimmy]

Its an old (70's ish) film about a group of good old american chaps who go off for trip in a bit of american wilderness. Long story short they meet some REAL backwoods men (the sort who sew themselves into their red underwear for the winter with just a bumflap for convenience) who think it might be fun to treat them like girlies, some escape some not so lucky. Think it had Burt Reynolds in it.

This was based on a true story of horrors in the aussie bush but Hollywood at the time was very pro koalas so they had to change the story to use humans.

By the way, have you noticed how quiet Ricardo has been lately....

[scottishcelts]

I think i'll give that one a miss just now (will have to build up my courage levels first, and maybe a trip to oz first before going to oz) of the yellow brick road variety!!! Saying that it can't be any worse than the films being released at present i.e. see saw, hostel etc. those are gruesome, but you know that way, you can't stop watching once you start, or maybe some of us are just as sick as the producers!!!

As for Ricardo, i think everybody managed to convince him of his insanity, maybe he phoned the men in white coats and he's in a padded cell drooling and mumbling something about koala bears!

On a serious note, is gardening your profession, or a hobbie? Just curious, as i've just started an rhs horticulture course with an aim of doing some landscaping/community gardening. Also, why move to Australia with all it's demon beasties?

[april]

unless you are very unlucky or do something stupid like pick-up a creepy-crawly, you'll be fine.

Expect a laughing audience if you carry on when finding something with 6 legs or more.

Oh and those killer-koalas aren't really koalas but their cousins the drop-bear.

[shimmy]

Originally Posted by scottishcelts

I think i'll give that one a miss just now (will have to build up my courage levels first, and maybe a trip to oz first before going to oz) of the yellow brick road variety!!! Saying that it can't be any worse than the films being released at present i.e. see saw, hostel etc. those are gruesome, but you know that way, you can't stop watching once you start, or maybe some of us are just as sick as the producers!!!

As for Ricardo, i think everybody managed to convince him of his insanity, maybe he phoned the men in white coats and he's in a padded cell drooling and mumbling something about koala bears!

On a serious note, is gardening your profession, or a hobbie? Just curious, as i've just started an rhs horticulture course with an aim of doing some landscaping/community gardening. Also, why move to Australia with all it's demon beasties?

Gardening was my profession in the uk, I got my midlife crisis in before the rush and gave up a paying job to do an RHS course ( the old general certificate win or lose on the final exam one. The exam was the day before we emigrated just to add to the pressure - got a distinction too!)

The course was part time so I started up doing garden maintenance as a one woman band. Managed not to have to do any mowing or hedge trimming, just doing the plants, oh and in the case of one garden an awful lot of rabbit proofing. What I cant do with chicken wire just aint worth talking about!

So if there is anything I can help you out with for your studies give me a shout.

My other half has just done his midlife thingy and instead of doing the big motorbike + blonde bimbo pillion he went to Uni here for a year and got a diploma in horticulture. Hes now working in Christchurch doing parks and gardens stuff for the council. Comes home smiling too which is always a bonus!

Why Australia, hmm well I do wonder that too. It is in the definitely possible pile just at the moment. We could make a living here with both of us doing gardening as everyone does mowing or landscaping but not many are doing proper garden maintenance. When my wee boy gets to preschool age I can start building up again (im doing the English Gardening School, garden design distance learning course just now when time and toddlers allow, to keep my options open).

The weather here is the main problem, the winters are cold and wet and the houses just arent built like the uk ones. They are under insulated and flipping freezing. Central heating is VERY new out here and most people just have a logburner (logs delivered in 3m loads to be barrowed to the shed) or plug something into a socket to heat up their homes. Oh and electricity is bloody expensive which helps.

Winters are shorter than the uk, there are more bright days and spring starts earlier but once the sun goes down (or behind the next valley rim in our case) the warmth is gone instantly. I remember evenings in the uk where you could sit out til 10pm watching the garden put itself to bed and the bats flying round the house. Here its 'who's turn is it to fetch the jumpers?' as soon as the sun dips.

So we are looking for somewhere warmer, where we can grow things that are a bit different and make some money. The bugs, snakes etc and on-off droughts in oz are the biggest problems. Thats why I did this post. Obviously lots and lots of people do have good gardens, there are parks and landscaped areas all over the show but what we dont know is how serious a problem the creepy crawlies really are for those planning a profession out in the green stuff.

Blimey dont I go on? hope thats not too much info.

[scottishcelts]

Hey Shimmy, i could listen to you all day, you're so funny! Never mind going anywhere else in oz, head to brissy and meet up with us (when we finally get there) !!! Round of a plause to your hubby for getting the diploma, must have been some amount of study and hard work, but worth it ey, especially is he's coming home every night with a smile on his face! My hubby's a boring old software engineer (although he's anything but boring) but maybe i could induce an early mid life crisis on him (any tips on how to do this fire away) to turn his hands green (i don't mean to turn into the hulk, although those huge pecks and thigh muscles, yummy.......................) i'd better stop now!

I've only just started my rhs course level 2, same one as you done, and i'm on my own doing home learning as the kids are only 8, 5 and 1 and couldn't possibly go to college, so i'm in for a rough ride.
Anyway they say gardening is good for the soul, and i think a mixture of that and all that brissy sunshine sounds like heaven to me (minus the beasties) don't know how i'm going to cope with that (i'll have to learn not to run a mile screaming every time i see an ant never mind a big hairy beast).

So head to brissy, plenty of work there for horti's.

sc