advice on dealing with stroppy teens refusal to go to oz

[kimryn]

hi we're considering moving to oz and have discussed the thought with our children (age 13,8and2). our 13 year old is digging the heels in saying that she doesnt want to go, is anyone else having the same problem? any advice on how to deal with the situation without causing ww3....

[caroline]

Hi,
we have the opposite problem, when we discussed going to Australia with our girls aged 14, 13, 10 and 9 they became so wrapped up in going they lost interest in everything over here, as we had not made a final decission until our application has been approved, which takes time we have told the girls we are staying put for the time being until we are in a possition to talk as a family with all our options clear. in the meantime they can continue with their studies and friends without the worry of a possible move. So I dont think there is an easy solution to your daughter, when you decide to take the family to the other side of the world it is bound to cause mixed feelings.{ww3 was eventualy sorted.}
Caroline

[kimryn]

Originally Posted by caroline

Hi,
we have the opposite problem, when we discussed going to Australia with our girls aged 14, 13, 10 and 9 they became so wrapped up in going they lost interest in everything over here, as we had not made a final decission until our application has been approved, which takes time we have told the girls we are staying put for the time being until we are in a possition to talk as a family with all our options clear. in the meantime they can continue with their studies and friends without the worry of a possible move. So I dont think there is an easy solution to your daughter, when you decide to take the family to the other side of the world it is bound to cause mixed feelings.{ww3 was eventualy sorted.}
Caroline

Thanks for the reply. We're going to bring her over to oz so she can see what shes saying no too...hopefully she keep an open mind after a visit. Nothing has been set in stone yet its just at the idea stage so hoping it will grow on her.

[yummymummy150]

Originally Posted by kimryn

hi we're considering moving to oz and have discussed the thought with our children (age 13,8and2). our 13 year old is digging the heels in saying that she doesnt want to go, is anyone else having the same problem? any advice on how to deal with the situation without causing ww3....

we are going to cyprus.same problem, its age that friends mean everthing,they dont see that in5years even if they stayed it would be other friends, i do feel for them but its like if they dont want to go to school, they goand it sorts out.Its not going to happen over night so just let it roll,dont keep on they just kick off, you have to make some choices for them or they would stay inbed hope it allturns out for you .

[kimryn]

Originally Posted by yummymummy150

we are going to cyprus.same problem, its age that friends mean everthing,they dont see that in5years even if they stayed it would be other friends, i do feel for them but its like if they dont want to go to school, they goand it sorts out.Its not going to happen over night so just let it roll,dont keep on they just kick off, you have to make some choices for them or they would stay inbed hope it allturns out for you .

HI, thanks for advice nice to know im not alone...She doesn't seem to get that half the reason we want to move is to give her and other kids better quality of life. She makes me feel so guilty for even thinking about moving. Husband says she shouldnt have a say and we should just go. I'm sure what ever choice we make it will work out in the long run.

[yummymummy150]

Hi yes itstuff being a mum keeping all happy,.at the end off the day. untill shes 18 its youre call,if its right for you go for it We gave into all teens wants
they would have pink hair, tattoes, pircing,and boy friends that drive to fast(oh thats my daughter)LOL.If it is so bad(it wont)when she"s a adult she can come back .no dout there be lots tears slamming doors but whats new with teens,I have 8 kids so got the tee-shirt. tricia

[thebex]

hi nice to know that everyone is in the same boat. we are in the process of applying for visa with 2 girls age 12 and 14 one wants to go other doesnt. eldest said she will miss her friends to much then spends all night on msn, so i have told her she can still do that as you dont need to be in the same country to do it (lol)

[Aussiejock]

Originally Posted by kimryn

hi we're considering moving to oz and have discussed the thought with our children (age 13,8and2). our 13 year old is digging the heels in saying that she doesnt want to go, is anyone else having the same problem? any advice on how to deal with the situation without causing ww3....

Firstly, she is only 13 and does not know what is best for her, so no matter how much she squeals she does as she is told. Secondly, in a democracy she is out voted! I was forced to move when I was around her age. My parents didn't give me a choice - that was what was going to happen. I was not a happy bunny - to put it mildly! However, after a very short time I had made new friends and had no thoughts of what I had left behind. If you decide to emigrate don't worry about her negativity, it will pass.

[zoeburrell]

Originally Posted by kimryn

hi we're considering moving to oz and have discussed the thought with our children (age 13,8and2). our 13 year old is digging the heels in saying that she doesnt want to go, is anyone else having the same problem? any advice on how to deal with the situation without causing ww3....

Hi

My kids, daughter 13 & son 11, are now both REALLY excited about moving to Oz. We're hoping to go in Jan 2008 on a business visa (fingers crossed it all comes through and we're there in time for the new school year!) and I took them out for a 'taster' in May this year. I'm so glad I did. They were both apprehensive 2 years ago when I first started talking about taking them away from all their family, friends, everything they know and love - who wouldn't be? But I have involved them in absolutely every conversation, weighed up the pro's and con's with them, looked at lifestyles (tell your daughter about the fit, blonde surfer boys.... she'll be with you!) and opportunities - got them to do their OWN research on Australia.... get them interested is the first step. May this year was really the 'will we / won't we?' decider for all of us - and we ALL loved it... Thank the Lord!! I don't know what I would have done if either of them hadn't loved it - started the convincing process all over again I guess?! Get your daughter to write a 'for and against' list.... I guarantee for every 'against' she comes up with you'll be able to match and better!

If it helps, I'm sure my daughter would email / correspond with your daughter - it's only nerves and when she realises there are sooooo many other kids the same age going out there and facing the same 'problems' she'll feel a little easier. Just let me know if you want to keep in touch - they could even do it in this forum - keep it open - other kids could benefit too?

All the best

Zoe