You can certainly make that budget work. However, beyond the "headline" numbers, bear in mind that, unlike the U.K. (particularly for the car), the value of the car lease(*) and the housing benefit you receive will be largely or entirely U.S. taxable because it'll be considered part of your wage/salary compensation. True, it's non-cash compensation, but that doesn't matter, it'll still be largely or entirely taxable. I think you'll even have to pay your share of U.S. payroll tax (7.65%) on the value of those two items unless you're able to stay on U.K. national insurance. If so, the U.K. rules will govern, and you won't pay U.S. payroll tax. (Though I wouldn't stay on the U.K. system for those two years if you have a choice, and you probably do if I understand the U.S.-U.K. social security treaty correctly. Two years of participation in the U.S. system, plus your U.K. participation in other years, will be enough to qualify for some modest U.S. Social Security retirement benefits, in addition to your U.K. benefits. I'd take that deal. The U.S. has the more generous system.)
So let's suppose, just to keep the math simple, that you choose an apartment with a monthly rent of $2000 (including utilities), and your employer pays $1700 of that. Let's suppose the car lease is worth $300 per month. So along with your $43K in salary you're also getting $24K ($2000 per month) in non-cash, taxable compensation in my example. That means your total taxable salary will be $67K. (We'll leave your wife's employment compensation out for now since that's more speculative.) Washington State has no state income tax, but you will pay U.S. federal income tax. For a married couple filing jointly, no kids, and no other income you should owe about $7300 in federal income tax. You'll pay another $5125 in U.S. payroll tax, thus your total tax bill should be about $12425 in this example. That'll leave you with $30575 in after tax income to pay for everything else -- food, gasoline, unreimbursed medical expenses (deductibles and co-pays, and there likely are some), entertainment, the $300 per month in rent you need to cover, etc.
....And that's not bad! But you can see how it's a bit less than the "headline" figures suggest. Employer-provided medical insurance is not considered taxable income, fortunately.
(*) It's a little more complicated. As I understand it, the IRS lets you apportion the employer-paid vehicle lease between personal and business use. The personal use share is then taxable income. Business use is generally use of the vehicle for business purposes in excess of your normal office commute. A figure of $300 per month would be a pretty reasonable, rough guess for the personal use/taxable income share, I would think.
Housing is very rarely U.S. tax favored. If your employer is putting you on an oil rig offshore, for example, then there probably is a U.S. tax benefit if your employer just provides living quarters directly, on the rig, since then it probably wouldn't be considered taxable compensation.
And therein lies some advice: cash is superior when you're receiving taxable income. If your employer is willing to spend $500 per month on a vehicle for you, but you're willing to settle for a $300 per month vehicle, take the cash instead. Same thing with the housing. Cash in lieu of non-cash taxable compensation allows you to downgrade if you wish and keep the difference. If your employer provides the housing and car, you don't have that downgrade option. You have to look at U.S. rules, not U.K. rules, to understand what's taxable and what's not. Company cars are quite common in the U.K., for sensible tax reasons. They're very rare in the U.S., for equally sensible tax reasons. Unless you're taking a job driving a hot dog wagon or refrigerated ice cream truck (as examples), and that's your employer-provided vehicle. (Though you'd still likely have to treat the personal use portion as taxable income.)