Visa and social anxiety problems

[Voivod]

Hello all.

This is a very specific situation (?) so I'm not sure if anybody can help, but I thought I'd give it a go. I'm from the UK and my girlfriend the US. In time (hopefully within the next few years) I wish to move over there with her. We've talked about marriage and so thus the K-1 fiancé visa. Her living here is not an option. Without going into detail too much I have a lot of social anxiety problems. This affected me during my time at school and I did not achieve good grades, but that's another story.

Anyway, for the last few years I've been living at my parents home and managed to work part-time cleaning at (ironically) a school. It has been my only job despite the fact I'm nearing thirty. Doesn't sound like much but I'm quite proud since I find it so hard to 'get out there', as it were. However at the moment I'm beginning to feel the strain again and might have to leave. If that happens I'll certainly be going on some kind of disability benefits (for the first time) as my parents have just divorced and my brother and I will need to seek another place to live together.

To cut a long story short (too late!) I'm rather scared that if I do go on those benefits it will jeopardise my chances of moving to the States. I don't really know how it works and if that is important or not. I know if you apply for that visa you can't go on the US welfare system for X amount of time (and I wouldn't want to at all anyway!) to keep would-be spongers away, so presumably as long as my girlfriend/future wife can support me for the short-term I'd be good to go? Again, does going on disability/benefits in one country affect moving? I feel I have explained this badly but it's the best I can do, sorry.

[Fatbrit]

From a visa point of view, makes no difference.

[theresoon]

About social anxiety problems. Have you ever heard of Paula Dean? The big tv celebrity chef? Her social anxiety problems were so bad she couldn't leave her house, until circumstances absolutely forced to go out to make a living for her self and her two kids.

[Voivod]

Originally Posted by Fatbrit

From a visa point of view, makes no difference.

Oh, excellent. I was fearful they'd deny me because they'd think I wouldn't be very productive. As I said I admit to not really knowing the ins and outs of this sort of thing.

Originally Posted by theresoon

About social anxiety problems. Have you ever heard of Paula Dean? The big tv celebrity chef? Her social anxiety problems were so bad she couldn't leave her house, until circumstances absolutely forced to go out to make a living for her self and her two kids.

Wow, no I did not know that! I'm able to go out, it's just I have a really bad problem talking/connecting with others. It doesn't help I struggle with working generally. I've been like it for the last 17 years or so.

[coolbadger]

Hi there. Be encouraged, A good friend of mine went to NY some years ago on a fiancee visa. He is now happily married and in full time employement.

He has severe Tourette syndrome. The US Embassy in London were incredibly understanding and helped him emormously.

He got help finding employment through a disability agency in NY.

My friend has muscle spasms (tics) and verbal outbursts of abusive language. Yet he has made good friends and good working relationships.

He was recently in a TV programme of people who made a success of their lives with that condition.

It has not always been easy but many people have helped him to succeed.

So do be encouraged. Honestly if my friend can do it, anyone can!

[Voivod]

Originally Posted by coolbadger

Hi there. Be encouraged, A good friend of mine went to NY some years ago on a fiancee visa. He is now happily married and in full time employement.

He has severe Tourette syndrome. The US Embassy in London were incredibly understanding and helped him emormously.

He got help finding employment through a disability agency in NY.

My friend has muscle spasms (tics) and verbal outbursts of abusive language. Yet he has made good friends and good working relationships.

He was recently in a TV programme of people who made a success of their lives with that condition.

It has not always been easy but many people have helped him to succeed.

So do be encouraged. Honestly if my friend can do it, anyone can!

Thank you for your kind words. I feel a lot better knowing this will not stand in my way from a legal point of view. I understand it might not be easy for me - for example the nervous way I am also means I know I will never get behind the wheel of a car (and I know driving is quite important in the US) - but I have the belief that I can make it work with my partner. I certainly do not want to be with anyone else and the thought of not being with her is something I can't even think about. If I can find a modest little job like I currently have here in the UK then that would be fantastic. She is a teacher and has her own home (well, paying mortgage on) so she is pretty secure herself.

For the first time last Christmas I actually got on a plane and flew over there to see her. On my own. I've never flown before let alone on my own so even though it was very hard I'm proud that I managed it.

Anyway, sorry to babble on

[Veronica]

Originally Posted by Voivod

Thank you for your kind words. I feel a lot better knowing this will not stand in my way from a legal point of view. I understand it might not be easy for me - for example the nervous way I am also means I know I will never get behind the wheel of a car (and I know driving is quite important in the US) - but I have the belief that I can make it work with my partner. I certainly do not want to be with anyone else and the thought of not being with her is something I can't even think about. If I can find a modest little job like I currently have here in the UK then that would be fantastic. She is a teacher and has her own home (well, paying mortgage on) so she is pretty secure herself.

For the first time last Christmas I actually got on a plane and flew over there to see her. On my own. I've never flown before let alone on my own so even though it was very hard I'm proud that I managed it.

Anyway, sorry to babble on

The fact that you managed to fly to the US on your own proves that you have the inner strength to suceed if you really try.
Have you heard of Emotional Freedom Technique/EFT ?
This is a method which you can actually teach yourself with the help of books which can help you to overcome anxiety and phobias etc.
There is a great book called Emotional Healing in Minutes, written by Valerie and Paul Lynch which takes you through the process and teaches you how to use it.
It used to be available from amazon. It is worth giving it try, you might find it will change your life forever.
Good luck in your future.

Veronica

[Voivod]

Thank you too . I will certainly try and check the book out - I'm open to all suggestions!

[amberdawn]

Hi all,

I'm new to the forum. Voivod showed me to this place. We are engaged now

He recently got a diagnosis related to the social anxiety (turns out it's asperger's). He is still with the same job, but since it's part time work, he is thinking about looking into if he qualifies for any benefits over there until he moves here since we're anticipating the move won't be for at least another year.

Would being on benefits there put him in any jeopardy in terms of the visa application process? I understand he wouldn't qualify for benefits once he moves here. My worry is just getting him here!

[Veronica]

Originally Posted by amberdawn

Hi all,

I'm new to the forum. Voivod showed me to this place. We are engaged now

He recently got a diagnosis related to the social anxiety (turns out it's asperger's). He is still with the same job, but since it's part time work, he is thinking about looking into if he qualifies for any benefits over there until he moves here since we're anticipating the move won't be for at least another year.

Would being on benefits there put him in any jeopardy in terms of the visa application process? I understand he wouldn't qualify for benefits once he moves here. My worry is just getting him here!

Welcome to the forum and congratulations on your engagement.
I am sure that with your love and support everything will work out ok in the end.
sorry I cant answer your questions as I don't know much about things work in the USA but I am sure that one of our USA moderators or members will be able to give you some advice.
Good luck to you both.

Veronica