how to help family deal with us moving?

[lizzie anne]

We are only at the beginning of the process of moving to CA, but the announcement has prompted panic in several quarters!
Most notably, my dad, who had a heart attack 2 years ago and is terrified of dying the plane. I really don't think he'll fly over. My mum feels she can't go without him, so they are resolved that they won't visit us & will be sitting in the UK waiting for us to visit them!
Of course this brings in the whole anxiety about our daughter not seeing them enough & they are not sure how to be long distance grandparents. They have had a lot of bad stuff happen to them in the last few years & it feels as though I am deliberately breaking their hearts, though they are too polite to say so. MIL is also panicking in a passive aggressive way!
How can we help them adjust? They all want us to stay & don't seem to get why we want to leave.
Does anyone have any good ways of keeping people in touch across continents besides Skype?
Would really like to hear other people's experiences & sorry for mild rant!

[twostep]

Oh dear! It took my father 26 years to set foot on US soil. He showed up twice in two years:>) We lost him shortly afterwards.
The family is working the guilt and the filial duty on you. It is decision time. Not easy to make. Especially the "poor little me left behind" approach. My mother is working it like a knife right now. It hurts but I have done the 24-hour transatlantic flights because she needed someone there asap.
If flying is not an option - they can take a cruise. Your daughter can visit. There is skype and very inexpensive but good phone connections. The grandchild may draw them sooner or later.

[Bevdeforges]

You have to do what you have to do, and your parents may just have to learn how to cope with what works for you.

I haven't dealt with the grandchild issue, but as an only child I did wind up having the responsibility for my parents as they got older, moved to assisted living and ultimately when my Dad had to go into a nursing home. Make sure you have phone numbers or e-mail addresses for their doctor and a neighbor or two before you move - in case some day you can't reach them when you need to.

There are planes, and you can arrange to go back to visit as often as you can afford it (both time and money wise). Make sure you have an emergency fund so you can get back at short notice should it be necessary. And do make a regular habit of calling them (via Skype or more traditional telephone) on a regular basis - maybe at the weekends. Don't bug them too much about coming over to see you until they've had a chance to hear about your reaction to your new home. If you're excited and happy after your arrival, they'll start to come around about "maybe" making the trip over some day.

Your daughter can visit them for the summer holiday. (Are they ready to have her around 24/7?) And besides Skype, there will no doubt be other spiffy inventions and innovations in coming years that make it easier to stay in touch - online videos, new and improved mobile phone packages that include overseas calling (I've got unlimited calls to the US now and just love it! Though the time difference can be a hassle to work around.). Plus, you can get creative with what's already available - maybe a private blog or website between granddaughter and grandparents?

Big question is, do they already use computers and high tech stuff? If they don't, getting them up to speed may enter into your moving plans. Make sure they know how to place an international call should they need to get hold of you. Right now they need reassurance that you're planning on staying in touch with them, and anything you can do to involve them in the planning for your move will help.
Cheers,
Bev