I know nothing about Japanese culture but I do know about manipulating mother-in-laws (MIL)....

It really depends on what your girlfriend is happy with...

My in-laws have been divorced for many years. My Mother-in-law is a pain and wasn't invited to our wedding although my father in law was because we knew he wouldn't turn up since he lived in Haiti. However he did turn up and when my M-I-L found out she dis-owned my husband and hasn't spoken to him since.

I have since tried to make peace between them but neither is willing to talk to the other. I still send her Christmas cards and update her with what we are up to and even called her before we left the UK but she doesn't want anything to do with us.

My husband isn't that fussed since after years of manipulation (which I have witnessed and my M-I-L even tried to manipulate me but I wasn't having that!) he feels we are better off without her.

So my parents haven't met my M-I-L although they meet my F-I-L just before our wedding.

Whatever you decide it has to be a joint decision and your girlfriend must be happy with it and any consequences that follow on.

Not sure that I've helped.....

Good luck with your decision.

Karen

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