Thank you so much for your time and effort MaidenScotland, it's very much appreciated. I understand the viewpoint very well. I'm Vietnamese and lived there my first 11 years. I can tell you that this is unfortunately not just the mindset of Egyptians, more perhaps people in poverty, but that should never be taken as an excuse either.
I guess a lot of women are in love and do have their heads on, but are not creative enough. One thing, if you are insecure of your man, give him tests to see if he passes.
I am a good actress :P I told my boyfriend that I have money for the flight and afterwards when I come I will have no money at all whatsoever so everything would be on him. Then I would bring the subject up over and over saying that I am worried and nervous etc. to see how he reacts :P. Don't be afraid to test him. Ask him questions, see how he responds. If it alerts you, keep going onto it to find out if you can really live with his answer. Always trust your instincts.
I don't understand how women can also think they can just bring on their different background and not think of the Egyptian culture. Not to forget, Islam! Or Coptic Christian. I'm sorry but in the culture in Egypt, it seems it is very conservative, and though it happens, it is likely exceptional, that a woman be older than her man(this is in a lot of places too though, no?). I've been researching for ages and am still researching. What I am reading is that a lot of relationships fall apart because of differences in mindsets. Well educate yourself first! And make sure he does the same. Don't change yourself for someone! If anything your partner would start believing he/she could mold you into any shape. It happens everywhere but logically, more so when you change so drastically for someone of a different culture, perhaps religion.
Also, times and times over and again, I've heard that, when you marry an Egyptian man, you marry his family. Are you ready for that? And why, why live so close to his family as so they can interfere in everything you do? Egyptian women are well aware of this too from what I've read! The Mother in Law is INFAMOUS, worldwide, but it seems more so in Egypt as she is the one who brings up the children.
When you are a foreigner, you will have to expect to be seen differently in a foreign country. It applies just about everywhere, if not everywhere. Are you ready to be seen as a money p... the word escapes me, but it's one of those creative games where you get a paper form of an animal or so stuffed with candies where kids get blind folded and hit it to try and get candy out of it. Anyway, what else is to be expected? This is a country where a lot of people are in poverty, and many have little to no idea of the life outside of Egypt. A lot of them will assume that it is paradise and that money fall from the air. Get set, ready, BARGAIN:P
If you think about it, everybody is different yet the same. Just brought up differently. Good and bad people everywhere, copies and originals. There are exceptional people everywhere, and yet again, the sheep mentality and stupidity is universal.
Always always use common sense, and trust your instincts. Anywhere and everywhere you go. And follow your heart too. The mind is the most important though.
With all of that said, even if you prepare yourself all you can, who says it can't go wrong? I'm about to find out myself.
My boyfriend is a manager at 2 different salons working at a 5 star hotel but he earns the Egyptian wage, very good in that case, 3,000LE + commission. He is willing to support me in every way and it just makes me melt. But I can never depend on someone else completely, so I am going with enough money for at least a few months and an escape plane ticket if anything:P. I trust my boyfriend for the most part and I love him so much, God is my witness. But it does not hurt to take caution in my opinion. He never has to find out, and if he does, it may hurt him but if he loves, he will understand. I am still telling my boyfriend that I have no money etc. till we live each other for a few days, then I will tell him. I can't bear the tests myself, I want to be honest in everything but our relationship is still a bud. Btw, I'm 18 and he is 26. I'm not putting my life on hold, I have my education online. So another thing, plan for yourself too! Don't put your life on hold because you may regret it, more so if things don't work out.
As I see it... well... I've been depressed for many years, hating where I am, low self esteem, pessimism, suicidal thoughts, etc.. I don't see myself as having much to lose, but more to gain.
I felt alive again when I came to Egypt, and happy when I met him. The thought that I can belong, the boost in confidence have helped me strive stronger, given me new energy for what I've always been interested in and dreamed of. I've changed so much for the better, I believe much more now, I taught myself how to cook, I clean and keep the house in order, I dance about, I'm so much better to everyone around me socially and I can feel the respect they have for me, I can express my mind and heart more clearly, I do things more wholeheartedly now, etc. now I actually feel like a true individual. It wasn't love at first sight but I swear to God there must be cupid who shot a thousand arrows through my heart and his at the same time. We didn't talk, we felt it. We have such a connection, such great appreciation for each other. He makes me laugh, he wants me to live, he makes me love.
I hope and I pray, that our love will be forever young and pure, but, but... we will see.
Last edited by HeartDream; 9th March 2011 at 01:51 AM.