I agree that the life of youth should not be sacrificed for those who have already had their lives. Considering travel time, you are probably closer to your mother than she was to her parents when she left. Flying wasn't so common then, so how long would a train or bus have taken? And how long would it take you to get home if you needed to.

If there were some heavy burden the rest of the family thought you should share, that might be something to consider. But since they didn't tell you about the stroke, they obviously felt that you should go on with your life, and probably agree that is what your mother would like.