Thank you both. Frogblogger when you get a chance please elaborate a bit.

I'd like to be helpful and yet at the same time keep funding away from the gray zone of matrimonial prostitution. Give too much and I get the girl, even deep inside, when we meet, she doesn't find me attractive enough to create a real relationship based upon love, not baht.

My economic situation is really not bad at all. Like most Americans these days I'm a bit frantically trying to reduce short-term debt (visa credit card debt) to zero, for the wolves are sharpening their teeth as we speak, but I'm doing so. I've been told that I will lose my job within 8 months, but that could be a godsend, as it is possible I can "work" in Thailand and collect some unemployment benefits at the same time (the differential).

So, yes I could send, 2,000 a month, or 5,000 or 10,000. So, the question is what is best under the circumstances.

Her circumstances are a bit odd also, if one can truly believe. She was married (unofficially) about 8 years ago, and had a child. According to her the husband became uninterested in a body altered by childbirth and so promptly found a new wife. The parents of said bad boy supposedly has "adopted" her into the family and so she lives with the ex's sister and her brother-in-law. Her "mom" (step-mom) has set her up in a small vending business which I think provides for her and her daughter's needs except for school. The child is schooled privately, I suspect according to the parents (step) wishes. So her living costs appear minimal. About the only thing she has ever bothered to mention was her half of the electric bill and internet bill. The computer belongs to her sister who works for a bank.

I am naturally suspecting of scams, but there are few red flags and tons of green ones. She shows me her wares proudly, and her daughter and sister-in-law's daughter interact with me on cam/chat, and 4 hours chat time, 7 days a week, says a lot about use of a person's time.

So for everything says this has possibilities, but I am only interested (perhaps oh so naively said) in a relationship based upon mutual compatibilities and love, not money. (But are not all relationships based upon value for value, even if not in dollars or baht?).

I kid you not, but I have talked to more than 400 (mostly Filipino) women, and though I was at first adamant about finding one with no kids (I have none) this one has stuck out so remarkably that I've changed my mind about the child factor, even though it brings in multiple complications.

But in the back of my mind, I consider arriving, seeing that there is no true possibility of "growing in love," due to, if nothing else, an age factor (20 years difference). If that is the case, it's a no-go. And so I wonder if I start sending as much or more than she earns a month--and she starts vending less, well, when the baht ATM goes broken, that could be cruel.

I'd be there in a flash, but as contract RN I am forbidden to take more than 1 week off at a time because I have no coverage (I'm an unusual specialist in Occupational Health) if I'm gone. My company would have to pay someone a bundle to cover for me. So since my job is ending within 4-9 months I'm rather stuck here. Trying to visit Thailand within a week is impossible.

So when you get a chance Frogblogger, or anyone else, please throw out some numbers...

Thanks again.