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Again, the amount of Sin Sot will depend on her age, her beauty, her education, whether she is a virgin, has been married and perhaps how many siblings she has. Add to that calculus the wealth of the groom, his age, his attractiveness and his status and I can see the need for a very good negotiator!
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You see I think this is where the term Dowry confuses the definition (if you will) of Sin Sot. It was never meant, so I am informed, as a test of worth of the bride. It was meant ot repay the family for bringing her up (remember that once girls were not desireable as children because they were less valuable to the farm and could not inherit - this is obviously outdated, but it is a tradition like any other). This is why it should only be paid once, not for remarrying etc. It is also why often poorer families received more sin sot than middle class familes did - it was simply harder for a poor family to bear a female child. A lot of the wealthy families here (so called hi-so) work on different rules as they are often of Chinese descent and those customs were intermingled.
The problem is that farang have to some extent compounded the confusion by paying huge sin sots where a Thai would pay none. This has created an expectancy in some societies and the feeling of 'worth' has been, in my oppinion, pushd into the Thaiway of thinking when farangs are concerned.
Think of it this way. Imagine a Thai community that has never had any involment with farangs and carry no preconceived expectations. If the girl, the bride to be was - for one reason or another - would not receive a sin sot in ordinary circumstances (lets say she is a widow with a child of her own - sin sot being paid when she first wed). The farang comes along and pays a huge sinsot because he thinks she is beautiful and is worth it (?). There becomes an expectation in this community - Thais will believe that the western custom is to give a 'dowry' (note I didn't say sin sot) based on the bride's physical 'worth'. Any further farang is going to be pushed for more and more money to show the neighbour's that their child is worthy of such an amount. A false feeling of - if you don't pay up to the mark you are implying she is in someway tainted or not worth the money.
Our misunderstanding, in a very real way, both confuses the situation and introduces unrealistic expectations.
In my wife's family there are four children. Two of the children (my wife and her elder sister) are both married to farangs - both introduced through the family. I have never been 'displayed' and neither has my farang brother in law. Sometimes I take everyone out and I pay; sometimes I am taken out and paid for. The idea that farangs should pay for everything is again an introduced one - and I believe intruced into some societies by well meaning (perhaps) or flashy farangs with more money than sense.
We polute the culture and then complain about the affect - crazy really.