First of all, the obvious one for newbies. "Thailand Fever" should be at the top of the must-buy list for every guy (or gal come to that) intent on a relationship with a Thai. And while you're at it, give it to your girl to read - it will be an eye-opener to her too, as every other page is written in Thai, and will really help her to understand what makes Westerners tick.
Read the reviews of the book here.
Andrew Hicks is a guy I've corresponded with a fair bit, and he has written some great and witty stuff on his relationship with a Thai girl and Thailand in general. "Thai Girl" is a novel that tells the tale of a young British lad trying to fathom Thailand and the lovely girl he has fallen for. "My Thai Girl and I" is Andrew's personal story of six years in the Kingdom doing much the same thing.
Check out his website for details.
"Very Thai, Everyday Popular Culture" by Philip Corawel-Smith (
verythai.com) is another great read, with some excellent insights.
A more cynical view about the bargirl scene is "Private Dancer" by Stephen Leather. The cult classic novel about an expat who loses the plot amongst the bars of the Big Mango. A definite must-read.
Jesse Gump's "Even Thai Girls Cry" I really liked. Picked up my copy in the local second-hand bookshop, couldn't find it new. Moving stuff, a supposedly fictional story, reads rather as if the author is recounting his own experiences...
A book I'll be getting soon,
Sex Talk by Kaewmala. I've been told it's well worth a read, coming from the point of view of a Thai woman for a change, rather than a farang male author. As the blurb describes it, a “guidebook to Thai sexual culture.”
A good and fun read is 'In the bedroom, out of trouble' by Bud Knackstedt and Oiy Ford.
Another excellent read is 'Heart Talk' by Canadian Christopher G. Moore (non-fiction). I also recommend the Land of Smiles trilogy, which includes A Killing Smile, A Bewitching Smile and A Haunting Smile.
On his website these are described as "his behind-the-smiles study of his adopted country, Thailand". His Calvino novels (Bangkok-based private detective) series are great too.
Robert Cooper's "Thailand, Beyond the Fringe", "Culture Shock! Thailand", and "Thais mean Business" are useful books for expats who are in LOS long-term.