What can I say except to reiterate what I said in my last post. Japan business is all about contacts. If you (or your wife) are worried that you might come across like you're looking for a handout, then take care not to come across that way. Make sure you emphasize what value you believe you can provide to whomever hires you and ask whether he happens to know anyone who could use that kind of help. Make it about what you can offer, not what you want. And make sure you're willing to do some independent legwork yourself.

If you simply dash off a note saying: "please help me find a job" and then sit on your hind-end waiting for your Father-in-law to hand you one on a platter, it's going to come across as lame, old-school or no. On the other hand, if you believe you have something of value to offer to the right employer, I don't see anything wrong with letting him, and anyone else you happen to meet, know what that something is on the off-chance that they know someone with a similar position.

Now... if it were me, I'd rather spend some time just hanging out with the in-laws and when the subject of employment comes up (which it almost certainly will), mention what it is you can do, the fact that you're still looking, and ask if he happens to know anyone that might need someone with such a skill. If you insist on contacting him beforehand, and if you're not already on good social terms, I'd mention the job thing as an afterthought and focus on the relocation and how it will bring the extended family closer together. Don't just spring a request on him cold -- you need to build a contact with him yourself before trying to leverage his contacts. And if you *do* decide to broach the subject in writing, I'd suggest you have your wife critique the letter first, since she almost certainly understands Japanese etiquette far better than you or I ever will. Plus, if I understand the problem correctly, she's also sensitive to your coming across like you're looking for a handout so she would probably be a good judge of how your request sounds in that respect.

Bottom line... I don't think you're necessarily out-of-place wanting to consult your Father-in-law regarding possible business contacts -- after all, you can't be expected to have your own business network right out-of-the-box. But how things work out may well depend more on *your* attitude than on his cultural beliefs. In my humble opinion, of course.