Quote:
Originally Posted by Aussiephil
Engineers never joke !!!!  |
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour. here are some actual maintenance complaints/problems, generally known as 'squawks', submitted by pilots to maintenance engineers. After attending to the squawks, maintenance crews are required to log the details of the action taken to solve them.
P = problem logged by pilots. S = Solution and action taken by engineers.
P - Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S - Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
P - No 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S - Seepage normal, Nos 1, 3, 4 propellers lack normal seepage.
P - Something loose in cockpit.
S - Something tightened in cockpit.
P - Dead bugs on windshield.
S - Live bugs on backorder.
P - Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S - Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P - Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S - Evidence removed.
P - DME volumne unbelievably loud.
S - Volumne set to more believable level.
P - Friction lock cause throttle levers to stick.
S - That's what they are there for.
P - IFF inoperative.
S - IF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P - Suspected crack in windshield.
S - Suspect you're right.
P - Aircraft handles funny.
S - Aircraft warned to "Straighten up, Fly right, and Be Serious.
P - Target radar hums.
S - Reprogrammed target radar with words.
P - Mouse in cockpit.
S - Cat installed.