Is it time to return home?
For those who believe that emigrating to a new country and a new life is a bed of roses, they should read this particular post which was instigated by an Irish lady who moved from the UK to Australia only seven months ago and now wants to return home. The thread brings into play a number of emotions, opinions and general information which anybody who is looking to move overseas would do well to consider. Are you really sure you know what you’re doing? Is it really what you want?
A number of prominent subjects have appeared in this thread which include:-
How long do you give your new life?
While the lady in question and her family are looking to relocate to the UK after “only” seven months there is some discussion as to whether this time period is enough to enjoy and find out about Australia or whether in fact Australia is not for some people.
This is a very difficult question to answer because each and every person’s situation is different and each and every experience of Australia will also differ. It was interesting to see that the lady who instigated the thread appeared to have severe reservations prior to the move with suggestions that she moved “for her family”. If this is truly the case then maybe a move to Australia, or a move anywhere else, should never have been considered in the first place?
Thankfully unity is still very much present in this family with her husband adamant that if one person was unhappy then everyone would go home.
Friends and family
In many ways the old saying “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone” has never been truer than in the world of the expats. The experiences of the initial poster has been replicated by many parties on the thread with a number of people suggesting they have missed their family and friends although this feeling may have been heightened by the fact that some people do not appear to have been able to mix with the local community in Australia.
In reality, your old friends will always be your old friends and your family will always be there, but you do need to enter a new country and a new life with a very open mind and a willingness to go that extra mile to make new friends and socialise. However this can be difficult for some people because of family life, work and finance but life will be very lonely if you are unable to ingratiate yourself into the local community.
Culture differences
Cultural and language differences are perhaps two of the main elements which can make people consider going home. A lot of people make the mistake of assuming that Australia is very much like the UK with sun, when in fact the culture is very very different, the economy is very different and the way of life can be markedly different. While the weather has also attracted many people, could you really put up with the sunshine, the heat and the creepy crawlies on a 24/7 basis as this is very different to holidaying in Australia, liking the experience and then going home.
There is also speculation that those looking to start a new life in Australia are possibly at the mercy of conmen if they have not done their homework and do not have their wits about them. It is a little unfair to pin this label on Australia alone because everywhere in the world new visitors are often opened up to the potential to be disappointed with a service or a purchase although many may also be the victim of fraud and con artists because they do not know local culture and local practices.
The subject of language and particular dialects is also mentioned on a number of occasions with some people suggesting for example that the Australians are unable to understand an Irish accent and others suggesting the Australians find a Scottish dialect very difficult to understand. This obviously differs from person-to-person and whereabouts in Australia you have decided to make your home but there is always the potential for language difficulties in the early stages.
Is the grass always greener on the other side?
Many people fall into the trap of assuming that life in a new country will be better than the life they are leaving behind in the homeland. They also assume that the difficulties they have experienced in the past will be gone forever and life can be, in due course, a bed of roses again. It would be great to say this is always the case but you need to go into a new situation and a new life having done your homework and with your eyes wide open. What is the point of moving to a new country if you are still to experience financial hardship, similar problems as before and your standard of life is no better?
You need to understand why you want to move abroad, that everybody wants to abroad but most of all, as the original poster has suggested, if it does not go to plan you need to be realistic. There is no shame in returning home after trying a new life in a place such as Australia because the people you left behind originally have likely never had the determination to do it themselves. You tried it, it didn’t work and you are returning to the bosom of your family and friends – what is wrong with that?
Conclusion
While it shows great bravery to make the decision to move overseas to start a new life, in many ways it is even braver to put your hands up and admit that life is not working and you want to go back to your old country. Unfortunately, as mentioned in the thread on a number of occasions, there are some people who have left their homelands for specific reasons, such as growing violence in South Africa, and they are unable to return. In these particular circumstances, if one part of Australia is not working for them then perhaps they should try different areas until they find a local culture which they can relate to and then begin to enjoy their new life.
Moving overseas to start a new life is a dream for many but it can turn into a nightmare unless you do your homework and are sure you know what you are doing. There is no shame in returning home having tried the dream because the alternative is a lifetime of unhappiness in a foreign land rather than swallowing your pride.
Related posts:
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
I agree wholeheartedly with the “open to con men aspect of things”. I have found over the years that Australia seems to be all about money and I am not suggesting that other countries don’t have this but we seem to follow America imo in many ways. I found Queensland to be worse than NSW for service and trying to rip you off all the time. Many things go on here that businesses in the UK would not get away with. Is it to do with population and the way it is spread over a large area or (and I tend to think this way) that is about being tight and “giving as little as possible. UK is not as bad I think as the media there paints it to be.
I agree with you main points even if when you start to read this thread it does come across as a bit negative at first but when you continue to read it some of it does make sense, I am not sure about the cultural differences, I would say that if you are from the UK then Oz is pretty much the same over all, Ozzy’s are a lot like the Brits they work too hard, they like their sports, jokes and beer etc etc… It is nothing like the cultural problems you may have in many other parts of the world. I think the main problem is why people move, you should never move to another country for the weather, because the novelty of the sun will soon wear off, I would say the problem most people have is missing their friends and family, if you can get over the homesickness then you will make a success of it in Oz, if not you may as well go home, but before you go try and remember why you left in the first place, you do find that people forget why they left and how unhappy they were in the UK or whatever country you may be coming from, I feel that if you have a job you like and friends around you then you can be happy anywhere in the world the key to success in moving to a new country is to get out there and try to make friends, join clubs, groups etc etc….be open and positive if you do this you will find that all your other worries will be made a lot easier, My Australian wife and I are moving to Oz in a few years and to be honest I can’t wait, I have lived in other countries and I am sure I will find it hard at first but hopefully given time it will feel just like home, but with sunshine a boat (hopefully), better food, probably worse beer and strange sports:-))
I have read this article with interest, as I am about to leave the UK to live in Spain. Somewhere in the article appeared the words ‘assuming / assume’. Fatal….NEVER assume ANYTHING if you are going abroad to live. ALWAYS do a massive amount of homework / reading about the place you’re going to, beforehand. Learn about the local cultures and ways of living, and be prepared to integrate and merge into your chosen area. Especially, learn the language, as this will go part way to show to all you meet that you are not there just to see what you can get out of the new country. Personally, I think that 7 months is just not enough time to get used to a new country.
I note the last commentee says the UK is not as bad as the media paints it…..Agreed, there are some areas that are not bad, but Get off..!! Almost EVERWHERE you look in the UK, you are ripped off BIG time… just look at council tax.. water rates..cost of fuel for cars especially.. vehicle tax.. train fares… parking charges…a pint of beer..cost of gas… electricity.. heating oil.. to name a few. And a government which seems to care not one iota for anyone over pension age….!!…….. No way.! Sick of it all. I’m out.
I have read this article and can relate to most of it. My family and I emigrated to Germany from Cape Town in January 2008. I must admit, we rushed into it and are now paying the price. We have three kids and although we knew that there are great international schools, we were not prepared for the school fees. To cut a long story short, we could only afford the International for one kid (our eldest) and the little ones (twins both in grade 2) were sent to the French school (husband is french). My twins have had the worst year ever…they hate the school, my son panics as he doesnt understand what the teacher says sometimes and they cry every morning. The only positive thing that came out of that is that my daughter can now speak french. My husband has been relocated and now works 4 days away from home. I am unhappy, as my little ones are unhappy. It breaks my heart when I think how happy they were back home..they had friends and a social life..here they have none of that. My husband has realised his mistake and is looking for something else. He doesnt want to return to capetown because of the crime etc…So now we sit with two options, either we ie myself and the kids move to the city where he works and wait it out there for a few months before we move on , or do I go back to cape town and “wait it out” there for him. My mom is there and ofcourse I have a superb support group there! – Would love to hear other peoples opinions!!!
ps. My elder son prefers to go home as “i have friends there already”, He does not want to go to a new school again and then again once we move. (The new school is an international school and all three kids will attend….we will be financially strained ofcourse).
I agree totally with Clive Bradley, After many years of living in the UK and Asia, I met my Australian husband in Vietnam and have lived in Australia for 4 years. The Uk (which includes Scotland has been the greatest rip off ever, council tax in Scotland was the greatest theft ever if you were working! if you werent then this was paid for you!) University students are totally paid for by the council tax payer hence Council Tax was so high.
I have never had one regret about moving to Australia, we have brought our dream house in Tasmania by the water where we will retire to, we have a great home in Western Australia albeit its up north in the mines (near the sea). We have a boat, 2 cars, plenty of free time, double the salary I can earn at home, holidays and long service leave, a fantastic health care system, without MRSA. Naturally there are some pit falls, like I cant buy Ambrosia custard/Birds Eye Custard lol. People take me at face value, naturally if your a whinging pom you will be unpopular, but thats the way I feel about foreigners coming to my own country anyway. I wake up to the wonderful wild life, parrots, fishing, roos, rabbits etc.
Australia isnt tolerant of overseas visitors who complain, and I admire them for this!… I can speak my own language over here, although I can speak 6 different languages. The people are open and friendly, always ready to do a good turn rather than a bad one. The day I sold my home in Scotland was the happiest day of my life, and working in the health service with an abundance of poms who also searched for a better life was the best thing I ever did.
As an Australian moving to the UK last March, we have found the same thing but in reverse. We up rooted our family (5 children) to come to what we thought was our dream life here in the UK. Trying to get your head around different ways of doing life can be quite a challenge. Simple things like the registering with a medical clinic and taking out car insurance on a Japanese car was not as easy as it would be back home. Having to all of a sudden deal with children being in the house so much more because of the weather has been a mind boggling experience as we devise new ways of keeping them amused. I think we (western civilization) take a simplistic view of the differences between our cultures and even the ‘English’ language. Humor can not just be an individual thing, but also somewhat cultural and for the first time in my life I feel like I am part of a class system. I would have to say in the words of Sting, that I am an alien, I am a legal alien.
I agree then in every step like migrating to a new country is a very big step for someone’s life. Even if you say that you are so used to traveling, migrating is different in traveling short term. Even before you would have considered moving into another country, there has been a lot of thinking if you will do it. It depends on your objectives and openness for taking and embracing another stage in your life. I moved alone to Australia for work, with no relatives and friends in this western country, heaps very different from the Asian culture. There are a lot of times and still from time to time I get homesick heaps, but then I need to re-think, I go back because I am so homesick, I think it will not help me grow maturer. I do try to go home every year to see my family which is worth looking forward to every year, it does help. Asians would agree with me that Australia is not too bad place to live anyway specially if you come from a 3rd world country, you count every blessing and you wonder that a lot of Westerners do not realize how much good things they have which they take for granted and just whinge. I do not regret having moved to Australia, and Its been more than 10 months now. I love it!
Be it ever so humble,home sweet home,where ever you shall roam,there is no place like home,and that means anywhere on this clay ball called earth,it is the family that prays and stays together that is the heart of the matter
I am an American and my spouse and I left the US, moving to Cape Town South Africa. We felt that the country had become very mean spirited and that you have to be very defensive about everything as you can be sued. And the government has amassed so much power and has so much money that it has turned against its citizens with ”victimless crimes”. I thought Cape Town would be an easy transition. Its gorgeous, the weather is amazing. Great restaurants, shopping malls, etc. Yes, we speak the same language. But that is where the differences begin. The culture is so different. People have no work ethic. There is no service culture. But then as much as this drives me to the point of going out of my mind, I remind myself of the incredible cultural scene and the beauty and the easy of getting around town. Its taken me six years to finally come to terms with both the good and the bad and to conclude that my move to Cape Town was a good decision. As for friends left being, we have the Internet and Voice Over Internet telephones. But if you need a plumber, expect the work to be done six times before it is right and don’t expect people to show up for appointments!
The lady who was said to have written the letter, called herself “senior expat” which really does leave wondering why hide who you say you are? The person who wrote the letter…and anyone can write anything which has nothing to do with credibility or even if they have ever been to Australia or anywhere else opened with
“well we are in Australia now for 7 months its been a great journey, but although I don’t hate Australia I miss my family and home to much.
we are struggling here as well, but we will struggle at home , difference is we will have family around to moan at”
On my best compassion, and allowing that this person exists and has been in Australia for 7 months…who knows where as nothing was said, making it sound even more like a furphy, this sounds like homesickness and that can strike any of us, particularly the young and the aged. Nothing of any substance was said in complaint of Australia however it raises the need-to-speak in people.It does raise the adage of better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.Let’s have a look at the “politically incorrect” view of Australia, the one which doesn’t pretend to be sanctimonious. Let’s start with our supposedly Irish complainant.
Australia has a thriving Irish descendancy, Irish clubs, Irish National Associations Galic clubs, Irish dancing, Irish sports including Gaelic Football and Hurley and Irish priests and nuns by the pint glass, it holds St Paidrich’s day nationwide, has an Irish Business association which is active, Irish Newspapers, Irish pubs and other Irish shindigs. It also has numerous “ethnic” clubs one can visit to expand cultural knowledge. No country in the world offers the opportunity Australia does socially for expats.If that doesn’t suit a person at all, especially in the heat of the worst periods for homesickness then that person might well not have sought assistance from her or his countryfolk.
I’ve lived in several countries but was born in Australia in the best period, at the end of WW11. No other country in the world assisted migrants like Australia, without Ghettos. As aliens certainly they copped unwarranted abuse…but then the taxpayer was supporting tens of thousands, eventually hundreds of thousands of them many cultures which isolated themselves and did best what they do at home…use other people and very quickly they established expensive churches and teriffic money access to expand commerce in what was truly, an open slather and I know it well.
Migrants seeking refuge who move to Australia’s prime suburbs raise an eyebrow. Migrants are essentially takers, they come or go to advantage themselves and in Australia with it’s unsophisticated market place people from places which demanded serious market expertise or go under or become criminal it was open slather. Immigrants were able to do very very very well…and still do.
On the other hand they had a social system which was supportive and had the family and village savvy which helped them over the bad times and Australian snobbery or defensiveness. On the other hand , and it beats me why, Chinese immigrants whilst their history has not been lawful harmony and some have been involved in serious crime and still are, have a massive Chinatown, no other culture has this.
So I’d say Australians have offered a very great deal to immigrants, but not always just on a platter…but we paid for it. Thus the “whingng pommie” who grated on people became a legnd. You can’t suit everyone and it IS hard to emigrate…but in Australia there are suburbs, not ghettos, of insular immigrants, in some suburbs an Australian who is not say, Arab or Vietnamese or Chinese feels very out of place and cannot even read the signs as they often are not written also in English, that’s pretty insulting to Australians.In cloing on that some cultures have scammed Australian insurance companies to the detriment of genuine people , so even on those few points, one can hardly poke a stick at Australia.
I agree that Australia is an American/Israeli puppet, that’s so evident any argument isn’t woth a toss..our governments crawl and grovel to these two parasitic cultures and become enraged when someone criticises either. John Howard and his people were outstanding symbols of racism and bigotry against anyone the USA or Israel proscribed. The Australian people have, for no reasonable reason other than their association with Australian Government become despised in places they were once loved and become political lepers in others.
The present Australian government and oppositions’s despicable support of the massacre and horrors inflicted on the Palestinians in Gaza, whose lands have been stolen and their peoples murdered and terrorised and dispossessed for 61 years shames every Australian. Governments ruled by “de Rothschild’s” new world order and it owns almost all of the world’s currency and owns your central bank and controls your political policies, the zionist conglomerate and bigots such as the ADL and the CFR and numerous other devotees of bigotry and the Lodge stay silent on their atrocities and scams (such as the ‘global financal meltdown’ ludicrously presented as some amazing concidence when in fact it was a well rehearsed plan, as was the debt based society and the privatisation of public assets).
I prefer to live overseas, though I have experienced heartbreaking and enraging difficulties, the prejuduces and bigotries which drive one into the ground to equal any migrant to Australia and I know Australia very well. Australia has no great history other than of hard workers, the abused and scammers. It’s history was greatly merino sheep and the sacrifice in War but most of that has been sold off in the American cringe or trashed. In France I can find a whole new history every 15 kMs and find extraordinary art architecture and social structure. In Spain, being ruined by developers great history and beaty still exists, in Pertuagal and Africa too, Aussies are not even in the race but Australia does have a big heart still. The UK I simply adore…outside London’s inexcusable poverty but I couldn’t afford to live there…Ireland is the same…Holland too, the nordic countries, Italy, expensive, Germany super expensive. America..why would anyone want to live in a place considering itself the master race and with the worst developed and most expensive health system of any developed country and the worst police and judicial system of all “developed” countries…..in other words which has no interest in any social justice which doesn’t earn political points….and the fraudulent “election” of George Bush was one example of masonic interference in proper jurisprudence. So…for me, though I love to be elsewhere, there is no country which holds a candle to Australia for all its faults.
Inclosing, in my experence of trying to assist immigrants their greatest enemies are their own people who often are forgetfully mean and miserable about how we helped them and who decry “immigrants” who don’t have to do it “as tough” as they did,that’s a fact. Cheers Tony
My short answer – 7 months is def. too short a time to make such a decision.
When 20yrs old I moved with my new husband to Canada – lot of culture shock, and I wanted ”home” for at least 18months. But the truth is it takes at least a year to get used to your new way of life – new schools, new jobs, new foods, new friends etc.
In my 40s I moved to Finland – same thing…very different culture and employment almost impossible to find! But I stayed and made it work for 7 years. Now I have moved (- maybe temp.) to Greece so I can work and enjoy the climate… and sometimes its hard. But, life is a compromise in all things… and there is no *perfect* place. This family needs to give themselves a reasonable amount of time to allow the homesickness to fade. They need to remind themselves of the reasons they took on this adventure in the first place.
Best tips: Join clubs for your hobbies, find a good church, invite friends to come visit, volunteer for local charities.
I’m American; lived in 4 countries. The biggest mistake I made was not managing my finances properly as an ex-pat. I’m not going to join the line (queue) of complains about the UK; that would be rude and disrespectful of the UK. I will say that, unless one is a financial wizard and very good with money, it is a mistake to come to this part of the world as a single parent on a teacher’s salary. The cultural offerings and all are super; can’t be beat but unfortunately, I can’t afford to partake. I would say that in a country, such as Australia, is “easier” to earn a living and enjoy one’s earnings. Being skint all the time is no way to live overseas. Learn to love Australia and the people will love you back. At least they’re outside all the time. At the end of this jaunt, I’m going somewhere where I can afford to live. Best, L
My partner and I are working hard in the U.K to save up enough money to emigrate to Australia. We are 21 and 22 and have been researching the idea of emigration for a couple of years.
the comments above haven’t put me off but they have made me see that if you want a better way of life (hence moving to the other side of the world.) there will have to be some sacrifices along the way.
I thnk that durng the first year or so we wont find it easy but with how hard im working to get there i doubt i will ever come home.
When i get there if i find myself picking fault or turning into a whinging pom i will remind myself how everyday my partner and i get up and go to work and its usually dark and cold then by the time i get home its dark and cold. i will remember how even though we both work full time we pay our mortgage and our bills and we are left with less money than those who sit at home all day and get all their bills paid for them.
i will remember that life in the U.K was cold, dark and government who never do what it says it will do, In the midst of this credit crunch I’m packing up and leaving a country where i was born and bred and yet has never done anything for me and im coming to Oz.
Hi all,
I am an expat, that moved from South Africa to Australia, 6 months ago.
The first thing I can say, is that immigrating is much more stressful than we believe it to be. So if you do want to immigrate, just be aware, that it will be tough and there will be times when you and your partner are in complete unison and a lot of times when you will argue. Not having friends and family support, can make this a very isolating experience.
In my experience, although there have been emotional challenges that I underestimated, doing anything in life, it is all about attitude.
You need to give yourself time….time to plant your feet on your new ground, time to discover your new country, time to form new friendships, time to tackle challenges, time to understand yourself!
I believe that if you have a positive attitude, if you’re approachable, if you walk tall, with a smile on your face, you WILL get through the tough times and reach happiness. It is all within your power….you make your life what YOU want it to be.
Always remember the reasons you immigrated…it is too easy to forget those reasons and this is when going “back home” seems like the best thing to do. Rome wasn’t built in a day….take time. Use technology and speak with your loved ones back home on skype, MSN, Email etc as often as possible.
Put yourself out there….don’t expect people to run up to you and welcome you in! Be the first one to say hi, with a smile. Be the first one to say, “let’s go out for a coffee”. Nothing comes to those who wait.
If you are new in Perth, WA…..contact me…I am aware of the ups and downs and it is always easier to have someone to talk to who understands what you are going through.
Never give up….you’ve come this far and with time, you will be truly happy that you persevered and stayed.
Best luck.